STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

sbelisabeth, what a beautiful memorial.

Betrayal, you're right, at one time cemeteries were created to also serve as a public park and people would even picnic there. Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta, GA holds concerts and other special events and they also give guided tours. The cemetery was originally created for leisure outdoor gatherings as well as for burial. So many cemeteries are beautiful.

bcincolorado, I'd love to know where at in WV your grandparents lived as I am right across the river from it and my late father in law hails from down hoopy.

Scarlett, it looks like you just got diagnosed with mbc. You're right, it's a journey, can be a roller coaster ride and hopefully you can reach a point where it is something like keeping your balance while riding the waves in the sea of life. Be good to yourself. It's understandable to be in a funk with an mbc diagnosis. It took me at least a year, and a prescription for antianxiety meds, to come to terms with a new normal. I continue to make adjustments along the way.

A few tips: simplify things in your life where you are able. I simplified housework and stopped giving so much energy to superficial relationships. More recently I'm learning to say no more often to things I don't want to do. Then, add more of what you really want to be doing into your life. It's all a process. I'm still learning to allow myself to ask for more from life. I don't mean going big and splashy. For me, what matters is to live a meaningful life. Sure, I did more traveling at first, but I also have picked up hobbies here and there, learned to savor delicious food, allow myself to seek out and soak in the beauty of lovely landscapes. One of my favorite things is to take my time and not be rushed. Can't always do that but appreciate when I can.

You might like the thread Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!). One of the discussions there was about the pressure to make the most of each day. I put my thoughts down on the following page (somewhere in the middle), and others added their own take. You might find it of interest: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/818931?page=115

scarlett feel free to vent here anyttime about anything here and we support everyone here. Virtual hugs to you.

selfishly not reading any recent post, but I have to vent.

Sitting w 11 playing a game and my stupid stretched boob hurts. It's been a year of "mom can't because...". Yesterday I was really tired for no reason and said, "you know I don't love cooking, but I always make passable dinners ( DH is a chef and often does the honors). I just really don't feel like it today.' 11 said "mom, you had surgery recently! It's ok. Let's order pizza"

I am so torn. Surgery was 7 weeks ago! I should be being a mom. Also, surgery was 7 weeks ago. I am in pt to do a fraction of the things I could do before.

Cancer feels like 'the job' and everything else- my career, my family... is the extracurricular.

So true Devine. Well said.

dancemom it is tiring. It is good your family is realizing that as well. I feel for everyone who has kids at home still and trying to be a mom to them as well and know how that "mom guilt" creeps in on you sometimes. Hang in there and you have a lot to keep you going it sounds like.

Dancemom, if your bestie was crying and told you the stuff you told us, what would you say?

You'd say, "Give yourself room to breathe. Room to heal, and 7 weeks is just the beginning. Time to figure out your new normal, which completely sucks right now. But give it time. You'll get your rhythm back."

And you will. Tell your inner critic to shut up; you're on a slow road to recovery, and that's just fine.

Please know I support all feelings. Get steamed, get pissed, get angry, vent your frustrations. We are allowed to have them. And that’s specifically what this thread is all about. Dancemom, your feelings are understandable. It sounds like being a mother has had to take a backseat to cancer treatment and all it involves. It seems so unfair.

My comments earlier were only to suggest you be kind to yourself. I don’t mean squash your feelings down or that you should try to slap a happy face on what you’re going through. Feel all the feels. For me, after I give myself time to process similar emotions, whether its days or weeks (hopefully not months) I reach a point of, ok, wtf can I do to get a better handle on this to move forward. I start looking at things from a different angle, ask myself what is working, what isn’t working (and eliminate that), can I try something new. Even small adjustments over time have an impact.

Vent anytime Dancemom.

I called to schedule a GI follow up as instructed, and they said doc is booked out and they don't have her schedule beyond 2 months. I'm not calling back, I'm done with this practice unless I have another issue. It only took 7 months to get an endoscopy done, although a couple of months was due to investigating my liver. Should they send a survey I will fill it out with my comments. If you're too busy for your patients, then they should be referring you elsewhere, no? Ugh

Yes, I told them it was a follow up and I got as far as my name and dob so I'm sure I'm in there. Oh well, I've moved on, up next week is MRI of breast. Hate that damn machine

All cancer is the pits. We just got back from having to take our little dog to be put down. She went downill fast today in an hour and was fine this morning. Vet said tumor on the spleen and she was bleeding internally. Common in dogs and cancer has probably spread to other organs as well. She went seriously in 2 hours. So sad and it is the pits. Hate cancer. Vet said it is something they can't even catch to treat early.

bcincolorado, I’m so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you and know all too well how it feels when we have to say goodbye to our animals. Hugs!

bcincolorado - I’m so sorry.

bcincolorado, thank you for your compassion in ending her pain gracefully. I'm so sorry for your pain and grief. There are just no words to describe saying goodbye to a beloved animal.

BCincolorado hugs dear lady. We lost our last pooch this year to cancer after having him 15 1/2 yrs. It is awful.

Oh no, so sorry to hear.