How has the Pandemic affected you as a cancer patient/survivor
Comments
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ErenTo, I feel the exact same way.
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I appreciate your comments Chowdog. The active spread of misinformation for profit, votes, ideological campaigns, etc. is alarming and shameful and it's entirely unclear that it will be prevented without some major changes. I struggle with how to be part of the solution in an effective way. One problem for me is that my anger toward those who don't get vaccines but could, clouds my thinking about how to change things so that those who are confused get the info the need to hear. I noticed that when I get together with vaccinated friends who are very progressive and caring about numerous social issues, we more often talk about people who don't get vaccinations as idiots and don't consider them as people who are trying to make decisions as best they can given the data streams they receive and thecommunities in which they live. Sorry to be just rambling here. I'm looking for a path forward when the U.S.seems so divided.
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I am no historian, but it seems to me that in the old days of Europe "the masses" might be called ignorant, but then literacy brought changes and improvements. The cause of democracy in what would become the United States was furthered by the ability to read. But nowadays, ironically, the ability to read can promote ignorance because the stream of news on the internet is narrow and manipulated. People are less likely than in the past to even be exposed to an opposing viewpoint in a meaningful way because they only read what they have already decided to believe.
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Great point Shetland pony! We are being monitored in our viewing/reading habits all the time and of course all of this is connected to making money. We are sent links that will get us engaged in more clicks and according to Facebook's practices, those are the angriest rants. So it is I guess not surprising that anger rather than rational science-based discussion is the prevailing discourse for discussions of Covid.
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Reading through these posts, I see the various directions people's concerns and experiences have taken. I have a sub question about it all and wasn't sure whether to start a new thread or continue you here, which I obviously did. I have metastatic breast cancer and have been vaccinated including my booster. I take ibrance and have been fortunate so far as to not have problems with my white blood cell count but I do not take this for granted. I function as if I have to be guarded and safe as if I am immunosuppressed. I do have friends over who are vaccinated and I go to a couple of stores (masked, of course). My husband and I take walks but choose fairly isolated areas. We are 65 and up and retired but live in the heart of a busy city. I was a teacher for 40 years. Recently my colleague still teaching at the city high school where I worked tried to plan a get together with anothrr retired teacher and another friend of ours still going into schools. I would like the communities opinion as to whether I seem overly cautious or not in deciding to pass on the get together. I got very worried about the contacts of the teachers still in school. I feel like life is passing me by because of both cancer and covid but I just can't push myself to do certain things that feel unsafe. I should also mention that I help with my 17 month old grandchild, my daughter and her baby live 4 blocks away. My granddaughter was born at 25 weeks 1 pound 7 ounces with a 44 % chance of survival. Keeping her safe is obviously my top priority. Dancemom, I feel like those who live in the midst as you do (me too) have such a different experience of this. What you must do is one thing but what we choose to do a whole other story. How are you, and others out there weighing and making your decisions?
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Hi Sorella,
I want to validate part of your concerns. I'm currently teaching high school. We have a vaccine mandate for staff, a mask mandate for everybody (with good compliance overall), and a very high level of vaccinated students, and we just got a notice that someone in our school tested positive. Close contacts are only required to quarantine if they have symptoms, and they can come back after a negative test. I don't have much confidence in how they are even determining close contacts.
To me the biggest factor would be whether the get together was inside or outside. If it's outside and you are wearing a good n95 mask and you and the other attendees are completely vaccinated, that is one end of the spectrum that I think would merit strong consideration of actual (versus emotional) risks. On the other hand if it's inside and everyone else will be unmasked, eating, drinking, talking loudly over music, I wouldn't think twice about passing.
I'm in a very different personal risk situation from you, so I don't know that my own choices apply here, but I will say that if it made another person more comfortable for me to wear a mask at an event (indoor or outdoor) while they were there, to enable them to participate and see their friends, I would happily to do. Even for basically the whole event, if there were a designated eat/drink space. Maybe your friends will also be glad to accommodate you, and you can ask them for 45 minutes or something if you are worried about imposing.
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Sorella, I’m always cautious but I do get out and live some. My personal basic rules are masking indoors but if it’s crowded, I just don’t risk it at all. If a distance of 15-20 feet can be maintained, I may relax some, which allows me to enjoy a meal out where crowds are very low and wait staff are masked. My husband and I also enjoyed a movie last week but only a weekday matinee where we were completely alone in the theater. We visit with only a few friends, typically outdoors or brief and distanced in our homes. Personally, I don’t consider vaccination status much for those few I interact with because I ultimately trust no one and do not want to let my guard down as that protection is not lasting as long as we hoped.
Our acceptable risk varies but I appreciate you putting a lot of thought into what works for you and those around you.
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ShetlandPony: There is, alas, a trend of dumbing down. Social media hasn't helped. If you think you can express a complex view in 250 characters why spend the time writing a cogent paragraph? Real journalism is a dying art. And yes, folks just read the stuff that they want to believe to be fact, even if it isn't.
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A high vaccination rate in a community makes a difference. I’ve posted charts before that the higher the vax rate, the lower the COVID rate.
Sorella - Is it possible to meet outside? If it were only you, then I wouldn't be more cautious than you've been. But you need to be available to care for your immunocompromised granddaughter who isn’t eligible for a vaccine. You risk having to quarantine if someone turns out to be COVID+ or worse. -
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I realize that I left out the indoor outdoor thing. It will be 50 degrees so plan was for indoor. I have decided to pass for more than a few reasons, my granddaughter, my cancer and covid the 3 main ones. I really have to want very much to do something to take the risk and decided that it was the guilt of saying no that was my biggest problem. I said No, I feel bad but oh well. Such is my life these days and I am thankful I still have it. Glad to have you out there! Stay as well as possible!
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Don’t feel guilty! Have to point out that 50F is a great temperature for drinking mulled wine or cider outdoors.
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Just want to share this article, especially the quotes towards the end of article:
https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/09/health/immunocompro...
"For me not to be able to live a life that again, I fought so hard to get and that my wife donated a part of her body to me for us to live a life together, it just it hurts," he said. "It cuts so deep that it's a pain that I can't explain." Linder said a stranger in a grocery store, where Linder goes when he's become stir crazy and just needs to get out of the house, once yelled at him that he doesn't need a mask and the pandemic is over. Note: That stranger is wrong. Neither of those things are true. He said he feels "a lot of jealousy, a lot of envy because the message that has been clearly pushed into the society right now is that it's like if I don't want to risk death, I need to just stay home, and I need to stay in my house forever," he said.
he essentially summarized what I have felt over the past 20 months. This is one of the biggest reasons I blame those in power and with knowledge for prolonging the pandemic for their own personal gains. I also blame some vaccinated people, including some infectious disease and/or public health experts, who believe the immunocompromised population doesn't matter, coz they want to take their international trips and try the hottest restaurants and clubs in town. I once asked a MD on twitter saying didn't the alpha variant originated from an immunocompromised covid patient, so maybe we shouldn't ignore the immunocompromised population as if covid is over. I was ignored. Some MDs on twitter even went out of way to say "my immunocompromised patient wants healthy vaccinated people to unmask around them". I just wanted to tweet her back "did you gaslight some senior into sacrificing herself for other people coz they want to eat at a restaurant?". I stopped counting how many times I was told by vaccinated people from other social media platforms that "you always have to be careful, even before covid. why should I stop living my life for you, stay in the basement forever". A former WH covid transition team member was even quoted by NYT saying "immunocompromised people always have to be careful". Maybe it's taken out of context, but it hurts greatly when an infectious disease expert spreads misinformation regarding people like us.
Look, I am not some kind of dreamer who thinks we can achieve zero covid in the U.S. We might have had a chance back in May, but we blew it. I just want us to have covid under control, so people like us can start resuming some activities and seeing people without feeling we are endangering ourselves and family. 70K new daily cases and >1000 daily death are not endemic for sure.
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Sorella
We only do outdoor activities. Even then I'm not 100% comfortable as people only hear the "outdoor" part of "it is safe to be unmasked outdoors in uncrowded settings". My rule of thumb is if I can walk comfortably with a golf umbrella, you are far enough away from me...haha, not going to happen around here!!! At one point I was dreaming hoop skirts would come back in fashion!
I work with preschoolers. I'm afraid all the time. That's how I contracted it right before my (covid delayed) diagnosis.
Cautionary tale: my oldest (early 20s) and her best friends since middle school have been incredibly vigilant. Pre- vaccine they got pcrs before each time they gathered. They don't do bars or indoor events, they all got vaccinated as soon as they could.
Three work from home, one in service industry with vaccine and mask rules, and one in a law firm with a vaccine mandate but no mask mandate. That one had J&J. She got her booster when that came out- unfortunately before the literature saying that if you got j&j, either get a second FULL dose or mix and match. The others aren't eligible for boosters yet.
2 Days after their gathering, J&J maskless job came down with a fever... one by one the other 4 fell. ALL tested positive for covid. Thank goodness for the vaccine, my daughter's fever was only 3 days with no cough, unlike my 3 week one with painful coughing that lasted weeks longer. But now she can't come help me this weekend. We are not even sure about Thanksgiving.
Who knows how it started at the office, probably similar to the gathering. One pre-symptomatic breakthrough case was laughing unmasked close to other unmasked people.
I now personally know of 8 break through cases. All were very mild 2-4 days. But all were contagious in the days before symptoms.
I need this surgery and I can't have people "choosing" to expose me. I double mask, I've had my booster. But I will tell you not to get on my elevator if you aren't wearing a mask. And I will ask you to step way back in line if I can see your nose. And I will make a nasty comment on the bus to the only maskless one there.
This past 2 years has sucks in so many ways. I just wish people would get it that their "choices" have really f'd up a lot of other people's lives.
To those who question "mandates" get over it. Its not a choice it is a duty to the community. Get vaccinated, wear a mask.
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make that 12 break through cases I forgot to count the friends of the story!!!
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Sorella, I echo what Serenity says. There's no reason to feel guilt about making your health and the health of your loved ones top priority. Often as women we're conditioned to please everyone. But the coronavirus and pandemic are making many of us rethink the ways we interact with others. Rather than going along with the crowd, we're placing importance on our own concerns by drawing boundaries between what's acceptable to us and our personal circumstances and what doesn't seem like the right fit. It might feel like guilt because we're so used to putting others first and suppressing our truer concerns so we don't hurt anyone's feelings. The pandemic is restructuring our approach to doing that which is not a bad thing.
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Sorella - I think it is important to say WHY you can't attend. Those of us who believe in science, logical thinking and statistics should not be silenced by those who want to believe crackpots. Microchips don't fit thru a needle, world-wide statistics show Covid vaccines work & cause virtually no long term issues, non-vaxxed are dying 10x greater than vaxxed, if gov't wanted to track you (why would they?) just follow your phone records, economic return rests on resolving this health issue and God/Allah/universe/years of research has provided. This isn't a political issue, it has been manipulated into one. That article about the man who went back to thank the health care workers who saved his non-vaxxed life shows that he CHOSE to listen to "people in the grocery store" and random posts on the internet for his news/science. I don't get my cancer advice from people in the grocery store or friends who think "cancer" is a single disease.
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Excellent post, nopink!
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The positive outcome for me, while looking on the bright side of things, has been that I still grocery shop at 6 am, because I just love it when it's only me and 6 other people in the whole supermarket. LOVE. IT. I also absolutely love the influx of curbside pick-up options, delivery options and drive thru options and I hope they never ever go away. Having cancer and having the ability to reduce the amount of contact with the public is really awesome. Any time I don't have to get out of my car - I DON'T! I also found a fabulous vegan food delivery service that I never would have known about if not for the dumpster fire of 2020. I installed a bidet. TAKE THAT toilet paper hoarders! Might sound a bit morbid, but I think about the time when hospice care is a necessary and this pandemic has taught me how to survive without ever leaving my home, which is where I'd like to stay for as long as possible.
I am vaccinated times three (Pfizer & a booster), and I'm getting my flu shot next week. With chemo, timing is everything! Plus, with all the crazy going on right now, any vaccine that is safe for me to get, sign me up!
And to the anti-vaxxers I say this: I've set a goal to out-live you, and you're making way too easy! But, you do you, BooBoo.
Little nugget that's both funny and sad: On my commute home from work last week I passed a group of protesters holding signs stating that COVID vaccinations were made from aborted fetuses.
Yeah. It hurt my brain and I can't get the image out of my head. I felt like I went to sleep on planet earth and woke up in a Wes Craven movie.
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This rant from Gene Simmons of KISS is refreshingly blunt, and from someone I don't otherwise like. Maybe he's the Liz Cheney of the rock world.
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Anti-vaxxers trying to "undo" the vaccines by borax bath is proof the vaccine mandates are working and needed. If they fall for such a ludicrous idea, they were never qualified to determine for themselves the risks and benefits of the vaccines.
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/covid-vaccine-mandates-push-holdouts-get-shot-detox-rcna4859
ETA: Replace the borax with some essential oils to have a proper bath.
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serenity,
I don’t even have words for this nonsense!
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SerenitySTAT
What the effing hell? A good chunk of the population has gone berserk, and another large chunk are enabling them. I'm getting less tolerant of these dipshits every day.
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Alice
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I think a couple of pages back, we were discussing antiviral pills. well, it looks like today's EUA filed by Pfizer is only for unvaccinated people? I read on twitter, data for another trial that includes vaccinated people are coming soon, and Pfizer might fill EUA for vaccinated people depending on the trial data.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/16/business/pfizer-covid-pill-paxlovid-unvaccinated.html
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I have 3 friends that are not vaccinated. Life long friends. I know them well enough and I am angry that this whole health debacle was not handled correctly from the beginning. I'd like the Joe Rogan's and Tucker Carlson's of the worldto STFU. But they won't. They have their right to voice their opinion. I may never understand why my friends chose this decision-but since I actually know and love them I am respecting their decision however they arrived at it. They aren't activists or scientists, I feel just apprehensive due to all this misinformation. They are human. We make errors. I've chosen to be more empathetic and compassionate to the people I know. One of whom is fighting for life right now. Day 12. ICU on the cpap 100% o2. I don't want to lose a friend. It's sad.
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I have been estranged from my sister since she married a criminal who tried to steal my autistic brother's identity. They also stole from my mother who has since passed at 92. (so glad she didn't have to witness this pandemic) The end of the story is that my sister caught covid and died. She and her criminal partner were not vaccinated. It was her second time contracting covid. When I was diagnosed, I thought surely I would die before my big sister but you just never know. Life is stranger than fiction.
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sorella,
I am sorry to hear about your sister and her poor choice in partners. Family can be so challenging and complicated. Does sorella mean sister in Italian?
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So sorry sorella. My friend in my previous post is 100% Italian decent and can speak the language. Still has a few relatives in Italy. Her husband was placed on the ventilator yesterday. She calls me sister in her texts. So, so so incredibly sad. I find this very hard because it is bringing back visions/memories of watching my husband struggling for air and eventually die. She says to me that she knows I know how she feels. I do, that's true, but I really don't want to feel this sadness and loss all over again. I don't know what to say to her. A small part of me wants to run the other way! I've been keeping things short, like sorry and that I'm praying.
I had to really really bite my tongue last night when my other unvaccinated friend called to see how things are going with our other friends. I wanted to scream! Gee Gina, you sound awfully good today, and happy. She honestly thought I was going to tell her things were much better. I could not. I told her the truth, but not the complete truth of how this all could have been avoided if you would just go and get the m'fng shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This one, vaccinates her mother, takes care of her, yet her and her family won't do it. I can't explain it, other than they are hanging onto the thought that something the rest of the world is doing is going to fail, and they will end up right? All because some crazies out there actually think like this and then it spreads, to people like my friends. Makes me angry. So sad and angry.
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Here's my take. We're pretty lucky in my circle: none of us have gone through chemo or immuno/checkpoint therapy, or have undergone radiation within the past 12 months, We've all been triple-vaxed/boostered. (Back in late Aug. I got the full Moderna as my third shot; because I'm 70 with ocular melanoma and had plaque brachytherapy radiation only a year earlier--with some lingering ongoing effect--Walgreen's deemed me sufficiently immunocompromised to qualify for a third shot).
We are living our lives as normally as can safely be done. Because one friend is nearing 80, another has COPD and his wife takes methotrexate for RA & scleroderma, and yet another is NED for NSCLC, we all wear our masks in indoor public spaces. In fact, in my bluest neighborhood in the bluest city in the bluest state in the US, if anyone walked into our WholeFoods or CVS without a properly-worn mask, if they manage to get past security they'd immediately be set upon and pelted with unripe avocados and hog-tied with cheap five-buck corded earbud sets. When we do go out to eat we keep our masks on till the drinks arrive and re-don them whenever servers approach or we get up from the table. All the staff wear masks. When we go to a movie, we choose the most isolated pair of seats and don't eat or drink, so out masks stay on. I've recently resumed occasionally taking public transit when parking or rideshare would be too pricy--but again, everyone masks. I've flown only once, an overnight in July to see a Colbert taping in NY. In fact, even though at the time almost every business in NY or Chicago had "masks optional for the fully-vaccinated" signs posted, the only place we didn't mask was in the studio audience--but we had to show proof of vaccination to get in and we had to stay masked till we got to our seats. We will be having Thanksgiving dinner in a skyscraper-top restaurant, but no buffet this year; and there will be strict elevator occupancy limits.
I have a full array of cloth masks in various colors & patterns--I use them at restaurants & businesses I know and trust. But I always have at least one KN95 in my purse or pocket just in case. We plan to visit friends in SC in Jan. (it's one of the few states no longer on Chicago's travel-rules "fecal scroll"); but I'd be lying if I said I have no qualms about going to a red state where nobody masks and relatively few are vaccinated (even if its transmission rates are lower than IL's and the same as Chicago's). We still don't know what we'll do for New Year's Eve, as our old-standby restaurant--where we've hosted friends for the past 14 years--went out of business after Labor Day.
Tonight I was watching Bill Maher again, and he was complaining "when can we stop calling it a pandemic and go back to living already?" Sadly, Fareed Zakaria and NYC Mayor-Elect Adams agreed with him (Chris Christie I expected to). Forgive me for shouting, but WHAT THE EFF YOU SEE KAY is wrong with these people? Don't they know that "we're so over masking" is what brought Delta raging in? (Trouble was that "masks optional for the fully-vaccinated" was a free pass for the anti-vaxers, because who was going to challenge them)? The recently-opened Hard Rock Casino just over the city/state line in IN advertises "Extra Cleaning" (which we all know by now is "mitigation theater") and "Masks Optional" (not just for the fully-vaccinated). Remind me if I ever decide to take up gambling (which I don't do not even when in Vegas), which local casinos not to patronize!
The whole point is that we are not locking ourselves into our homes and getting everything delivered (at least not till the weather sucks so hard that nobody in their right mind in even the most robust health would go out to shop or dine)--and we will not acquiesce to the selfish anti-vax anti-maskers who insist we stay home so they can whoop it up and keep spreading new variants.
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ChiSandy- You are lucky. I am in Southern Illinois--- same State as you -- but wwaayy different experiences. I do not attend church in person (have not since March 2020), but I watch online live stream. No mask wearers in church service that I can see from the camera that is set up. I do my grocery shopping online and pick up curbside--- very few masks on people as they are walking in the stores. No masks in the veterinary office when I took my cat for his appointment. Our vaccine percentage for my County is 39% (from the information I found online). A lot of my friends are not vaccinated and do not plan on getting the vaccine.
By the way, I am immunocompromised with my cancer treatment. I have had 3 Moderna vaccines and plan on the "booster" in 6 months. I mask everywhere I go--- mainly to the doctor.
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