Hate going to my 6 month check ups

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Does anyone else hate going to their 6 month check ups ? Every 6 months, for 5 years, I have to go see my surgeon.

It's been almost 2 years now since my surgery. I've had 3 of these follow ups. I worry she might find something, a lump, recurrence.

I get all nervous and anxious the month or two before the check up, dreading the day approaching.

I have tons of questions I want to ask, but when I see her, I get all emotional and can't talk much, like a lump in my throat, and my voice cracks.

I'm scared of her and kind a hate her for cutting my boobs off. Does anyone else hate their surgeon for removing their breasts ? I know she saved my life, and I should be grateful, but chopping them off just seems so barbaric. I know its her job, it's only a job to her, she doesn't know how much those breasts means to me, and every 6 month I have to go and show her her handy work.

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  • gailmary
    gailmary Member Posts: 332
    edited November 2021

    Hope, I think she knows what she did and regrets that she had to do it. It is not fun to her or just a job.

    Alot of anxiety goes hand in hand with cancer. Better to go for your checkups then be sorry you didn't. Do you have blood work done to check tumor markers? Don't forget cancer can return in places other than your breasts. I had clear mammogram and bone density scan in january 2017 and in April a whopper bone lesion was found in my arm. I'm doing good.

    What's important is to continue to take care of yourself. Eat right and exercise and sleep enough. Goes a long way to fight anxiety. Best of luck to you.

  • DutchieGirl
    DutchieGirl Member Posts: 103
    edited November 2021

    Hope, I totally understand how you feel! I didn’t love my surgeon and was so glad when my oncologist said that I didn’t have to see her ever again. I do see him though, once a year. I write down any questions I may have and he’s good enough to take his time to answer them. But I will tell you, the day he told me I wouldn’t have to go back to my surgeon was a very happy day for me!

  • Sunshine99
    Sunshine99 Member Posts: 1,680
    edited November 2021

    Hope, can you ask your MO if you still need to see your surgeon? I think I had only a few follow up appointments with the surgeon (or her nurse practitioner). After that, it was just my MO. Your MO should be the one following you, checking your blood work and ordering tests as necessary. I'm sorry you're stressed.

    Carol

  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited November 2021

    After my surgery, my surgeon actually switched locations. I ended up seeing her nurse practitioner for the next two years. After about two years she said I don't have to see her any more. (I liked my surgeon, but I liked her NP too, so that was fine with me).

    That's a way to say - maybe there's someone else in the same office you could see? I imagine you could also see someone from a different practice. You're not stuck with an MD you don't like.

    That said, I wonder if you might get some help from therapy or social work. It's not the worse thing to feel anger towards your surgeon instead of the cancer, but it's maybe an indication that you could use some processing or support. In the end, if you still have concerns about your surgeon's actual treatment of you or conversations with you, that might help you express them in writing in a way that could actually make a difference at the practice.

    Good luck!

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