In Favor of Feminism: Share Your Views

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited September 2021

    Billie Jean King continues to pave the way for women:

    First Women's Bank opens in Chicago with goal of fixing gender lending gap

    Its founders say it's the first financial institution aimed at helping women entrepreneurs get the capital to start and expand businesses.

    Sep 22, 2021

    Chicago is now home to the First Women's Bank, a bank its founders believe to be the first and only women-led and women-focused bank in the country.

    A Wednesday ribbon-cutting ceremony minted the bank in Chicago women's history, and served as the grand opening for the bank's headquarters in West Town.

    "Never before has there been a greater need and an opportunity to address what we believe is the fundamental problem facing women-owned and women-led businesses, and that's access to capital," said Melissa Widen, one of the bank's founders.

    Widen and others at Wednesday's event cited studies showing women-owned businesses received far fewer business loans than firms owned by men.

    "Promoting gender equality at this bank, it's not a marketing strategy. It's in our DNA," said Marianne Markowitz, the bank's CEO. "We believe that the potential for the bank to drive social change and to bridge the gender lending gap is enormous."

    Helping women start successful businesses is the central mission of the First Women's Bank, CEO Marianne Markowitz said.

    Mayor Lori Lightfoot cut the bank's big blue ribbon during the ceremony and said the bank will "tell the world loud and clear" that Chicago is a place of "business and opportunity for everyone."

    "Opening up access to capital is critically important, and it's got to be opened up to everyone," Lightfoot said. "We cannot succeed and move forward as a city, as a nation, unless we are very intentional about making sure that no one is left behind."

    The bank will also provide support to women entrepreneurs through advice and networking resources, said Colleen Ryan, the bank's chief marketing and communications officer.

    The bank will also focus particularly on helping women of color start businesses. Southside Grinds, a Black-woman-owned coffee company serving communities of color, was able to hit the ground running with the help from First Women's Bank.

    "Our mission is to spread love and caffeination in under-commerced, under-beveraged and under-caffeinated areas," said Ebony Blue, the company's founder. "It's really important to us because there are a lot of places on the South and West Side of Chicago that do not have beverages, let alone any types of commerce."

    The bank is supported by companies like Wendy's and Comcast, and by International Tennis Hall of Famer and women's equity advocate Billie Jean King, who invests in the bank and serves as one of its advisers.

    Billie Jean King speaks about the power to bring change during a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the First Women's Bank at 1308 N Elston Ave


    "I know the challenges women face when it comes to financial solutions for small businesses," King said. "I've lived it. I've been to banks –– it's not easy if you're a woman."

    "When the bank delivers on its mission, it won't be just for women. [With] the small business community and the economy open, everyone has a chance to win."

  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited September 2021

    Wow, that's one of the best relationships ever!

  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited September 2021
  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited September 2021
  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited September 2021

    Alice, oh my, that’s hilarious! (stealing it)

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited September 2021

    Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I love it, too, Alice!!

  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited October 2021
  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021
  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited October 2021
  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited October 2021
  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited October 2021
  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited October 2021

    Love it alice! This reminds of one of my feminist pet peeves… men who say they are babysitting their own children! I have heard many men, including my ex, say things like “I’ll come over after I’m done babysitting my kids.” What? They are YOUR children! You are not babysitting, you are parenting. Grrr…

  • Miriandra
    Miriandra Member Posts: 1,327
    edited October 2021

    OMG yes!! You can't babysit your own kids.

    DH will sometimes fuss at me when I make lists and schedules for the kids if I leave town. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of them, thank you." And he totally is. "I know, I just want to make it easy and seamless for you. I'm more familiar with the routines. So when you do something different, you'll know the baseline." I also remind the kids that Dad will do things differently, and that's ok, and not to freak out about it.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited October 2021

    " I also remind the kids that Dad will do things differently, and that's ok, and not to freak out about it.“

    That is exactly what I used to say to my students when they would have a substitute teacher 😂

  • Nkb
    Nkb Member Posts: 1,436
    edited October 2021

    13 couples got divorced in one of my kids classes- all 13 men got remarried. None of the women got remarried.
    men can’t cope on their own yet. Most of the women said no thanks to remarriage.

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021

    I'm not sure how some women have the energy to do all the household chores without help from their spouse or partner. I have always needed dh to help out. And yes, I have to accept that he does some things his own way that I do differently. For example, he puts his clothes in the dryer for entirely way too long. But why complain when he's doing his own laundry? We both loved raising our son so it was never framed as dh 'babysitting'.

    So it's great to have this helpful husband. Yet in more recent years I notice subtle ways that dh tends to treat the work I do and my perspective on things as less valuable. It may be that he always did but I'm only noticing it now or it's only now bothering me. But these days I call him out on it. He has a hard time thinking I offer good advice so he ignores it, but if the neighbor (a man) gives him the same advice, dh thinks neighbor is so smart. Sometimes I will give dh a bit of information and the next day, he repeats it back to me as if he's telling me something I don't already know. So I say, “ I just told you that yesterday. Why are you repeating it to me?" I also make many contributions to our marriage that are important but not necessarily visible, like taking time to manage finances. I've done it weekly, monthly, yearly, consistently for decades. To dh, it just looks like I'm comfortably sitting at a desk chair doing practically nothing. But there's so much more to it. Yet since it doesn't involve a sledge hammer, drill bits and a power saw, it's some mindless, effortless task that anyone can do, requiring no special skill or energy.

    I've had to learn to stop minimizing what I do, too.


  • Nkb
    Nkb Member Posts: 1,436
    edited October 2021

    Devine- I read an article about a man who presented his wife with a list of all the chores he does and said it was a staggering 17! Then she made a list and it was over 200 and presented it to him.

    I hear you about the devaluing. The socializing of men by women is often overlooked. There was a study of workplaces showing that women who do the same job as men are helping the men get their job done and doing theirs also. Could be little things that keep the office going or reminders, cleaning up sloppy work etc.

    We are not the weaker sex

  • saltmarsh
    saltmarsh Member Posts: 227
    edited October 2021

    Not gonna lie; one of the most delightful things about my ex leaving me was imagining him realizing all the things he was going to have to do now that he was alone. He didn't know where anything was, he didn't know how to load the dishes so they'd get clean, he didn't know how much laundry our kid could generate, he didn't know how frequently he'd have to vacuum or mop to keep the floors clean, nothing.

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021
  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021

    image


    image

    On a recent Autumn morning at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery, history was made. For the first time in the 84-year vigil, on the 30770th day of continuous guarding, an all-female guard change occurred with the 38th Sergeant of the Guard.

    "We commemorate the achievements of these trail-blazing Tomb Guards. While this historic event may be a first, it is not the last. With diversity in our ranks, race, gender, or any characteristics will never hinder, but only enhance the execution of our sacred mission.

    As we recognize this monumental day, we reflect on the Unknowns and their ultimate sacrifice. The world will never know their names. Their life's poetry was silenced in the defense of this great nation. We will never forget their sacrifice, and we will never falter as our standard will remain perfection.

    With Dignity and Perseverance."

    -Guards of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

    (U.S. Army photos by Sgt. Gabriel Silva)

    US Army Military District of Washington

    Society of the Honor Guard, Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

    U.S. Army

  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited October 2021

    The phrase "helping out" is used a lot. I love that my son in law figures out laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping on his own without my daughter mentioning anything. I was always the administrator no matter how much "help" I was getting. It is exhausting. I used to complain a lot about having to assign jobs but I did know that my husband was totally oblivious about how to live without my instructions. :-)

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021

    If buying condoms was like buying birth control

  • Miriandra
    Miriandra Member Posts: 1,327
    edited October 2021

    That was brilliant!!

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021

    Miriandra, I thought it was, too!

    Wrenn, good that your son in law is aware of what needs done around the house without having to be told. Some men have a “learned helplessness” about chores. They intentionally never tuned in to learn how a household runs so the woman is frustrated enough to do it herself. Some women always saw their mothers doing all the work, so they’ve been conditioned from birth to believe they must do it all, too.

    I made sure that ds learned some domesticity. I’m wondering how my grandson will fare. He is surrounded by an older sister, plus his mom’s two sisters and her mom (they all live three hours away). He’s not quite ten but seems to be comfortable being “waited on”. They often baby him rather than teach him to be self sufficient. I worked with preschoolers and it was all about teaching them to do for themselves, so when grandson visits, I do my best to reinforce this.



  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021
  • Miriandra
    Miriandra Member Posts: 1,327
    edited October 2021

    I see this "waited on" mentality at work too. All our therapists are expected to do at least one sidework task each shift at the studio. We're trying hard to keep it organic, and not have to assign tasks - we're adults and we should be responsible. Typically, it's the male therapists that need to be reminded or asked to do something. And as mentioned earlier, it's tiring having to poke them to get things done. "Bobby, I have three clients booked, and we're almost out of towels. Would you please stock the linens shelves?" (Bobby playing on phone game): "Yeah, no problem." Just open your damn eyes and notice that something needs doing! It's not hard!

    We used to have a guy who would rave about the benefits of shared and communal living, and share his long-term plans about joining a group like that. Of course, he was one of the worst for not doing anything until he was specifically tasked with it. What do you think "communal" means, dude?!

    Oh! I just had an epiphany! There's the common phrase, "Humans are pack animals." I now think that's false. MEN are pack animals. They need an alpha to tell them what to do and lead them through the day. WOMEN are social animals. We need each other to share labor and support each other, but we don't need a point person for day-to-day matters. If there's a conflict that needs to be resolved, a "leader" may come forward to help guide the group to a solution, but that's a special circumstance. Jobs get done because they need to get done. Not because it's a specific someone's job.

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021

    I've seen that kind of male behavior at the workplace too, Miriandra. The guy shrugs off doing his fair share and then when a woman complains about it to a higher up, the guy labels the woman as cranky, bitchy, bossy, a complainer to his coworkers: “Like, what's her problem?" If the guy is attractive or has some charm about him, he uses it to get other women on his side. And there are some women who never notice if the guys aren't pulling their weight because they're so conditioned to just come in and do what's needed, accepting the majority of the mental load and they never take a step back and say, wait a minute, the workload is not balanced.

    One of my brothers started trying to sabotage me around the holidays each year, baiting me to try to get me to lose my cool so he could claim innocence and superiority that he was the good guy. It was to the point that I was able to predict his behavior. He made the mistake of thinking he could get my husband and son to side with him. Well, one main reason I married dh was because I knew he'd take my side of any argument I ever had with any of my siblings. And ds is a gem. So brother wasn't going to convert them. I finally put boundaries in place and now have very little to do with him. Two of my sisters are blind to his behavior because it isn't something he does with them, maybe because they're older. They might someday see him for what he is but regardless, I am standing my ground.

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021
  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021
  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited October 2021

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