Worried Sick

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besure77
besure77 Member Posts: 3
edited August 2021 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

I had a regular screening mammogram with tomosynthesis (it’s the one I always have) 8/16 and the report came back Bi Rad 0, focal asymmetry present in right breast, medial central. Breast density B.

History: I have had regular mammograms for 10 years and have never had an abnormal one. I am 48-premenopausal. The only history of cancer in my family is my maternal grandmother who had her lymph nodes in the armpit removed (this would have been approximately 35 years ago when she was in her fiifties-she was very old when she passed). In March 2019 I had a breast lift and augmentation. I have always had larger breasts but had implants put in to compensate for tissue loss of having the lift. I also had galaflex mesh put in to help with the lift. Galaflex mesh degrades over the course of 12-24 months. The body grows its own tissues into the mesh, the mesh dissolves, and you are left with a sort of “internal bra”. The research I have read says this does not interfere with mammogram readings. I had a screening mammogram 10 months (2/20) after my surgery and it was normal. This was my second post surgical mammogram. My breasts have always been extra sensitive, especially the right one, and especially at certain times of the month. I feel like it has gotten a little more sensitive since I have had my surgery. I saw my gynecologist over the summer and he felt my breasts but did not say he felt anything and I’m sure if he did he would have said something. I have been feeling as well and I do not feel anything different.

My diagnostic and ultrasound are scheduled for 9/8. The soonest they originally could get me in was 9/14 but I have been calling scheduling every day in hopes of a cancellation and I was able to get in on 9/8 instead because of a cancellation. I am worried sick. I have excessive anxiety under normal circumstances. I have put in at least 20 hours of googling this which I know I absolutely should not do but I can’t help it. I am sick to my stomach, the thought of eating makes me want to vomit. I have called my doctors office and spoken with two different nurses, one I talked to said she was new and didn’t know much about mammograms, and the other I spoke to twice read the report and said I shouldn’t worry at all, call backs are very common, and that having implants makes it even more common. She said the reason for the call back is just because they couldn’t see everything, possibly because of the surgery. If that was the case then why would it say focal asymmetry? And if it was the surgery then why didn’t it show up on the mammogram I had 10 months after surgery?

I feel like I can’t handle this. I am a wreck. My blood pressure is through the roof. I don’t know if I can handle this, yet part of me knows I am probably being a bit irrational.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited August 2021

    besure,

    I am sorry for your worry and I am also sorry to be so blunt but you simply had a call back for a diagnostic mammogram. This is very, very common and for the vast majority of folks turns out to be nothing. I do understand that your anxiety is talking and creating an irrational response to what appears to be a routine call back. Focus on what you know and stop speculating about the unknowns and the what if's. I can't make you any promises, but the chances of this being nothing are very good.

    If your health anxiety is so bad that it is effecting your blood pressure, making you feel like you can't handle this and making you a wreck, please seek counseling ASAP. Whether your breast situation turns out to be something or nothing living with that level of stress and anxiety is not good for you. As an adult you will likely have to deal with health concerns as you age. This is a good time to work on overcoming those anxieties so you can deal with future issues from a position of strength and rational thought. You certainly have my sympathy, my younger dd deals with anxiety, but it's something that can be overcome. Take good care.

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  • besure77
    besure77 Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2021

    Yes I know. I am being irrational but I just can't help it. I am still a mess and I know this isn't healthy for me. I know the statistics show this is highly likely not cancer but I can't stop perseverating on the "what ifs".

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited August 2021

    besure,

    I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you but if it’s part of overall anxiety or health anxiety, I really suggest you give counseling a try. Whether it is your present situation or something down the road, stress and anxiety are not good for your health so please consider “treating” that. 9/8 will be here before you know it and then you will have a clearer idea of what’s going on (likely nothing!). Take care

    PS: if you haven’t tried meditation or mindfulness practices you can find many YouTube videos to get you started.

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  • ruthiew
    ruthiew Member Posts: 11
    edited August 2021

    Besure,

    Three years ago I had a callback for focal asymmetry. Luckily, I was able to get an appointment for my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound in two days. I struggle with anxiety, and spent most of the time before my appointment on Dr. Google. I could barely function: I was unable to sleep, exercise, or do any household chores. I started thinking about side effects of chemo, and wondered who would be there for my 15 year old son (he and my husband don't have the best relationship)if I was in the hospital. I worried I would not be around for his high school graduation, and I worried about my mom who was in a dementia care facility. I made numerous phone calls to my PCP and the breast care center. I totally understand how you are feeling.

    My results were benign. In fact, after a few x-rays, the radiologist determined that I did not even need the ultrasound (of course the next day I questioned why they didn't do an ultrasound or have me return in 6 months, since my breasts are heterogeneously dense, and so I called the breast care center a few more times!) My last three mammograms since then have been fine. However, I did talk to my doctor about my anxiety, and now I go to therapy and take a low dose anxiety medication. I have several family members with GAD, so some of the worrying is probably genetic.

    I guess I don't have any incredible words of wisdom. I just wanted you to know that my focal asymmetry was benign and that I understand how you feel.

    Please keep us posted on how you are doing!


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  • besure77
    besure77 Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2021

    Thank you. I have been calling scheduling every day to see if there have been any cancellations and so far no luck but this evening I did speak with someone who was very helpful and sympathetic to the extreme anxiety I am having. She promised she would get me in sooner than September 8th and will be calling me tomorrow after she reaches out to some contacts she has. I can’t think about anything else…I know my blood pressure is up, I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last week (I’m trying so hard to make sure I eat and drink but food just makes me sick to my stomach), I’m jittery, etc. I do have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to discuss my anxiety because I realize it is severe and I need help. One of my nurse friends said she is more concerned about my anxiety in relation to my heart than she is about the mammogram. I had a full blown panic attack on the phone yesterday with the nurse at my doctors office and she kept repeating focal asymmetry doesn’t mean they found “something”…just that they need a clearer picture of a specific area and way more than likely it is nothing to worry about. I told her one of the reasons for my anxiety is because only 8-10% of women get called back for mammos. She immediately said it is actually quite a bit higher than that. The scheduler said the same exact thing when we were talking. Googling is definitely not helping-I have probably spent at least 30 hours googling articles, many of which are journals meant for doctors so I am sure I am misinterpreting or not clearly understanding most of what I read. But overall, from talking to the doctors office and from Google, I am reading that focal asymmetry is actually quite common and most of the time nothing serious. It’s like a I’m stuck in a hole and can’t get out. As much as I know that I am thinking irrationally, I just can’t help it.

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  • ruthiew
    ruthiew Member Posts: 11
    edited August 2021

    Besure,

    • I lost 7 pounds in two days while waiting for my diagnostic mammogram. My brother, who has generalized anxiety disorder kept telling me not to "go down the rabbit hole' the way he always does, but it is hard to stop. Even with meds, I still get nervous for a day or two prior to my mammograms, and I worry every time my phone rings for a few days after. I hope tomorrow will bring good news of an appointment before 9/8, and that your doctor will be able to help with your anxiety. A friend of mine had breast cancer six years ago, and she s fine now. She was on vacation when she received her callback, and they actually asked if she could cut her vacation short to be seen for additional testing. Your original appointment, 9/14, was about a month after your screening mammogram, so it doesn't seem like they are saying it is extremely urgent.
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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited August 2021

    I can so identify with your panic mode and fear factor and in fact everyone of us who has had to play the waiting game does as well.

    I am the poster person for worrying, my son says I worry when I don’t have to. I can’t help it either it’s just the way I am regardless.

    No one can allay your fears more than they already have. Until you have your appointment your worries will consume you. It’s perfectly natural to be afraid but maybe mild meds could at least keep you more calm. I would be trying to schedule my appointment earlier too. The sooner you can relax about it the better.

    Just try and remember we have all been where you are and we are still here. Try to focus on the encouraging words that’s it more than likely nothing to worry about. Remember that if it was vital your mammogram would have been scheduled ASAP and that should be a good sign.

    So keep the faith and keep us posted.

    Diane





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