STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Oh, runor. Jaycee. I literally gasped when I saw your post. I know that she's really been struggling, and had a lot of non breast cancer problems/side effects after receiving the vaccine. But this seems unexpected. And terrible. And sad. Damn.

Beesie - She wrote about her struggle in this post:

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/770023?post_id=5677438

ETA: The link is to the Stage IV only thread "A place to talk death and dying issues".

Well I did it. Not sure how. Our life's journey in the promise of those that come after us.

farewell dear Jaycee, runor you are a good friend. We do whatwe can when we can and Jaycee did so much for us all. Love her, love you,

I just read Jaycee last post. I was away last week and was not keeping up with this forum. God speed Jaycee

apparently they live on another planet. I was looking thru my telescope a little bit ago and thought I saw them. when I am watching the planets/stars sometimes I feel like I am living in the twilight zone. Like there is some big ass giant laughing at us as we struggle along. Other times I am overwhelmed by the vastest...how many people have seen what we see when we lookup. It gives me some peace. I saw a shooting star while we were away and that gives me hope that life does go on.(I know they are dead stars but) hard to explain. If you garden you see life death and rebirth. What form rebirth takes is a WAY bigger ? than I can answer. I do believe we are reborn somehow. My nephew when he was little told my sister that I was his mother from "before". So who knows?

Runor, we are truly sorry for the loss of your friend Jaycee49. May she rest in peace. Sending you and her family and friends our sincerest condolences.

The Mods

I will be home from the family road trip this afternoon. I’ve been in the car for countless hours, with just me and my husband knowing, the other family slightly oblivious.He’s going to tell people, per my request. I could tell anyone by email or text, but not in person. But I don’t want to tell anyone anything. I don’t want to be asked about my health by anyone but my mom and husband. I don’t want to update people. I barely understand what’s going on myself! Like when I got the only part of my path report and told my intelligent best friends it’s ER+ and PR+, and they started asking questions about chemo, and what does HER2 have to do with it, and when do treatment happen, etc. I felt like they couldn’t believe I didn’t get all the information because I’d wasn’t listening or asking the right questions. Like I’m dense, and I never had any experience questioning doctors about dx, meds, adjunct treatments, nutrition. (Btw, I’ve had loads of experience doing this) It’s like at your first appt they give you a boarding pass with missing information. Like they tell you what isle you’ll be on, but you don’t know what seat, but you might find out when you get on that plane. But you still don’t know where the plane is even going, how long you’ll be on it, if there’s a layover, or how much it’s going to cost you. So I hate the idea of telling people anything, but I have to because my two youngest, 18 and almost 20, are at home, and we are involved at church and have an extended family living around us. I don’t want anyone staring at my boobs or long hair thinking it’s a shame they’ll be butchered or lost. I don’t want anyone to ask me how I feel or wondering how my husband feels. But they will. I can’t change human nature, and it don’t think it’s malicious, but it feels like such a personal intrusion! I’m a modest person, but from now on I get to be undressed, touched, smashed and injected against my will. I know I can refuse, but I can’t if I want to live. I have been said to be like a turtle who comes out when I feel safe. Now I’m a dumb turtle without a shell, nowhere to get away. And I don’t want anyone to think I’m a victim or a brave, except here where people understand how you’re both, but not in the way the public do.

I feel so petty for being angry about this, after reading about everyone’s friend Jaycee49. I need to remember there’s a bigger picture.

SerenityStat, thank you for that link. That's a thread that I don't read - I view it as private place and I don't want to eavesdrop.

Waves2Stars, about your diagnosis, you only have to tell those who you want to tell, and you can do it on your own timeline. There is no obligation to let everyone know what is going on with you, and you have every right to not say anything until you are ready and until you have more information. Obviously immediate family and close friends and possibly some work colleagues - those you see regularly and those who will step in to help or will be affected by the changes in your schedule - will need to know, but no one else needs to know. Some people prefer to let everyone know; others tell very few people and only on a need-to-know basis.

SerenityStat, no problem. I did read Jaycee's post in the link you provided. But it was because she'd only been posting in that thread and the Brain Mets thread (another I won't read because I don't want to intrude) for the past couple of months that I didn't realize she had reached the end stage of her life. I knew it was close but didn't realize it was here.

She will be missed on this board!

So sorry to hear about Jaycee. In addition to her thoughtful perspectives and knowledge it seemed like she entered each battle with the determination to win. It is a beast. One day we will have better detection and treatment that works the first time and not be a trail of failing treatments.

RIP, Jaycee. She was fierce until the end. I always appreciated her passion and her beliefs. She will be missed.

Waves2Stars depending on your treatment you may not lose your hair. My husband knew right off and until I knew the plan then we told our kids who were already grown and our parents who were alive at the time. Best wishes for speedy recovery too!

Hurray for the toilet Ctmbsikia!!

Trishyla: this doesn't belong on "Steam Room" but I want to respond to your comment on crows. I recommend any book written by corvid researcher John Marzloff, particularly "Gifts of the Crows : How Perception, Emotion and Thought Allow Smart Birds To Behave Like Humans "

I live right under the flight path of crows returning to their main roost at Still Creek in Burnaby. It used to turn the sky nearly black with birds but since much of their roost has been paved over by Costco, a Nissan dealership etc the commute is more in the hundreds, not thousands. I wonder where they have set up the new roosts. Crows have regional dialects and even within a region, the clans will have have different calls. Even mates will use calls meant only for the mate.

A fun, light read is "Raven Master" but Christopher Skaife (Yeoman of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London) At the time of the writing he was in charge of looking after the Tower's famous ravens and actually lived in housing that is part of the Tower.

Caw. Caw.