STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Some people are so rude about it really at work. They have no concept and think you have surgery and will be back at work the next day or something. Nope. Get annoyed at the medical appointments you have to leave for. Time off work. Even though you are using all your time off and sick time. Worked for some real jerks myself. Feel for you!!!

Well I can no longer work and am on SSDI now (only 60). My job was way too stressful and could not handle with everything going on. Can't even drive myself either so dependent on others already. Worked for a jerk of a boss anyway who claimed was "understanding" all the time and then decided to bring a computer set up home to my house to set up in my dining room so I could work from here!!! Just because she wanted to work 18 hours a day did not mean I did.

@Alice - what an ordeal! Sending good wishes your way for clear results on the PET.

Oh Alice!! So sorry! Hope the weekend and PET are quiet.

Alice: Try table salt in tepid water to get the blood out of your khaki pants. Unlike peroxide, it will not bleach your pants. Sorry you had such an eventful day and that your passenger is not an issue; just a hitchhiker? Ghost of kidney past right out of Dickens and maybe just an apparition. I hope the rest of the month goes better for you. May was my"shit" month and this month is not looking much better.

AliceBastable, I know how much you miss your friend. At least you have all of us to entertain with your stories about medical mishaps... and with this one, you outdid yourself. What a mess, literally and figuratively! Fingers crossed that the nasty bugger hanging on to Ghost of Kidney past is just an over-achieving harmless little fellow, trying to show off.

one of my kids has suffered a setback and I feel like it's my fault and if I'd done things a bit differently a few years ago we wouldn't be here now. Sorry cryptic but it's not my story - just my mama guilt and sadness. Shoulda woulda coulda thinking

alice - wth. that sounds like a very dark comedy skit. fingers crossed for the pet scan

AliceBastable...Good grief. What a bloody mess. I know you miss your friend and I am sorry for your loss. I will be thinking about you Friday and so hope you get good news about it.

moth....Having been there with one of my kids I understand your feelings. It is hard, very hard. It took a lot of time for me to get out of that "shoulda coulda woulda" thinking. Parenting is not for wimps.

I guess my bloodbath and sticky shower were pretty absurd, but I sure wasn't about to let the Klutz Krew know it was funny! I just hope my mask didn't hide too much of my stern glare! 👹

Right after I thought of my friend who is no longer here, I thought of all of you and how grateful I am to have a collective of friends in this forum. We are Breast Borg! We feel each other's pain and sadness and happiness and frustration and fear.

Moth, I think I've seen you admonish people for blaming themselves for getting cancer. That holds true in many other life situations, too. But when it's one of our own having a problem, sometimes the mother bear instinct turns inward and we blame ourselves. I think it makes us believe we can fix a situation if we deem it's us who caused it in the first place.

Jeezz Aiice What a nightmare??? Hang in there is all i can say

Alice - what a day for you! This is a great place to vent because there is understanding. I hope you at least got an oh gee I’m sorry.

Moth - don’t beat yourself up. Can’t change what was in the past. If we only had a crystal ball, we all would have done things differently. You made your momma choices with your heart and mind and that is the best we can ask of ourselves

Moth, sending you love and encouragement. I have one who's most challenging. When he was in his teens, I told him I knew he would be just fine as an adult, he just needed to live to get there (I wasn't kidding about the living part, he made a lot of unwise, very risky decisions).

And just when I thought yay, he's through all that, at age 40 he decided to stop taking his meds for epilepsy, doesn't think he has it (WT everloving F, was not aware he went to medical school), thinks his seizures were all from his diabetes.

Alice, no words. Tell that friend of kidney to eff off.

Moth, I’m sorry you’re struggling. I know that feeling. My daughter has disabilities related to complications during my pregnancy with her, and I will never really stop feeling guilty. We get by and do what we can do, but I’ll always think I should’ve been better

Hi moth,

Being a mother is a heck of a ride sometimes, isn’t it? We think we should be able to notice and prevent so many things that might make our children’s lives difficult yet we can’t. One of my dd’s had something very traumatic happen to her at age 10. It resulted in quite a few years of nightmarish events and more grief than I thought I could handle. Through lots of hard work and therapy, which she still faithfully attends, she has come to terms with what happened and though that will always be a part of her she has learned how to not let the past dictate her future. She is now 31, married with two children, getting a Master’s in social work and starting an internship. Guess what? Although I don’t let it show I still worry about her and I still feel guilty about somehow not having to have been able to prevent the trauma in the first place. Those feelings have softened and diminished over the years but I doubt they’ll ever disappear completely. Take good care

If only we could forget or not dwell on our mistakes as parents!!! Many a night I lay awake thinking of all the things I did wrong... regret is such a waste but we keep going back to it.