I am scared just diagnosed

LoverofJesus,

We're so very sorry to hear of this development -- you have been here and worrying for quite a while, and we're sorry it's now officially a cancer diagnosis. However, we're so glad you've found us and have continued to keep us posted on your situation. You already know this community is an amazing source of advice, information, encouragement and support -- we're all here for you!

We know it's hard to not jump to conclusions, but try to take a deep breath and remain calm while your treatment team comes up with a plan. In the meantime, this page from the main Breastcancer.org site on Questions to Ask Your Doctor About Your Diagnosis is a good place to start. There's also a helpful section on ILC that you might find informative.

Again, we're so sorry this is how your concerns have ended up, but you can do this!

Sending big hugs,

--The Mods

Lover, I too am sorry about your diagnosis. What you are writing is a little troubling though. A BS is not the Dr. that dictates your treatment, at least not in the US if that's where you are. You also need the pathology of your biopsy. What type is it? Hormone positive/negative, and is there a Her2? These factors are mainly what dictates having chemo before surgery---not just size, although sometimes they do try and shrink a tumor before surgery. Again, the MO is the doc ordering the chemo. not the surgeon. I wish they would have told you that. That probably won't happen until after your MRI. which will better determine size. Again, I'm sorry, but don't get too far ahead of yourself. This is the hardest part, we are here to help you take it all in.

LoverofJesus,

Sorry you are here. I was just diagnosed with ILC on the 14th of May. Although if I am honest, I knew I had cancer on the 7th based on the conversations with the Radiologist and Ultrasound tech. The Biopsy on 10th didn't give me any comfort based on the conversations they had with me as well as introducing me to the nurse navigator that day.

I had known something was wrong for over a year, I went to breast specialists, my regular doctor, more mammograms/ultrasounds and everyone told me sometimes nipples just invert as they didn't see anything on any images. Now I have over a 6cm tumor and who knows what else. I am so angry with myself for not pushing harder. Needless to say, none of those doctors are treating me now.

My diagnosis so far is ILC ER +, PR+, HER2-. My Ki67 score is between 5 and 10%, it is preliminary Grade 2. I also have Neurofibromatosis Type 1. I had an MRI today and they said I should know more Monday. I meet with the breast surgeon on Thursday of next week, although the nurse navigator gave me a heads up my BS may refer me to the MO and discuss me having chemo before surgery so I need a MO in mind, which I have picked, so I can be scheduled if that is the route she thinks she needs to get clear margins.

Looks like we will be going through this journey over a similar timeframe. I am nervous and scared too. I have a husband that I adore and an 9 year old son that is everything to me. The uncertainty is crazy.

But we have got this!! Positive thoughts and good vibes sent to the universe for you!!

LOJ,

I understand being scared. All of us have been there. What did I do to get through the early days? I focused on reality and what I knew at the moment. I rarely let myself drift into the “What if...” mode as that was pointless and would have only created anxiety. Most importantly I decided not to waste my time worrying about what I had no control over. After all, if I was worried about cancer shortening my life why would I fill my days with over the top anxiety?

Many of us, myself included, have found that taking meds (anti-depressants or anti-anxiety) and some therapy can be very helpful. Your user name indicates that you are a religious person. I don’t know the particulars of your religion but is support and help available through your religious connections? Please seek some help and support so you can enjoy life now and not waste it worrying about a future you can’t control. It’s ok to be sad, mad, etc., but you will need to pull up your big girl panties at some point so you can be an informed active participant in your tx. Take care

I might say one more thing. It's right that you are sad. You are grieving for the life you thought you would have, and having to let that go and make room for this temporary "new" side road you have to take. Grieving is necessary and will actually help you--it's healthy. So feel sad, angry if you have to (it's the active part of fear, which is also normal and human!), and then get proactive in kicking this disease out of your body forever.