Biopsy next week and nervous.

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Zoey86
Zoey86 Member Posts: 9
edited May 2021 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hi, I’m 34 years old and went in for my usual annual testing which I get because my mom had breast cancer when she was 34 years old. This time I went in for my testing and I had to have both a mamo and an ultrasound as something suspicious was picked up. It was a 2.8 cm right auxiliary lymph node with a eccentric cortex thickening and lobulated contour.

I am rather nervous as anything I see about eccentric cortex thickening states it’s a sign of metastatic cancer. Part of me wants to cancel the biopsy because if I have metastatic cancer I would rather not know and let what happens happen. I been through all this cancer stuff with my mother I don’t want to deal with it especially if it’s stage 4 which is what metastasis is.

Not sure what to do. I also been having back pain for months and loss appetite. I know this sounds ridiculous like who wouldn’t want to know but I really don’t

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited May 2021

    zoey,

    We all look at the world through the lens of our own experiences. I am sure that it was difficult to watch your mother go through bc. I can’t comment on eccentric cortex thickening, but if it’s in a lymph node that is close to your armpit, axillary lymph node, that is usually not considered metastatic and yes, almost everyone who is active on this site know what metastasis is.

    Even, though it is not likely, if you have mbc you should know that treatments have improved and continue to improve. I have lived with metastatic breast cancer for almost 10 years. I have worked full time at a job I adore almost the whole time (retiring on June 4th). Here is a brief list of all the wonderful things I would have missed had I just let mbc take over:

    -marriage of younger dd

    - the births of my 3 grandchildren

    - 10 years worth of travel, family, friendship, love and life!

    While it’s true that I am not typical, I would first wait until you definitely know what your situation is before you go down a road that you may never need to travel. De Novo stage IV diagnoses are not common; about 6% so the odds are clearly in your favor. In the unlikely event you do have mbc there is little reason to put your foot in the grave. Although far from where we wish things were, mbc patients have reason to hope. Drugs like Ibrance and Verzenio hadn’t even been approved when I was dx’ed! The number of long term survivors, both lower stage and mbc, on this forum has really increased over the 10 years I have been part of bco.

    I can’t tell you what to do or how to feel , but I am sure that your life is very valuable to those who love you and you should value it as well. Think about it... dying of untreated bc is miserable (we had one member I know of who did this and it washorrible). Your life is worth a lot and a diagnosis of bc, even mbc, is not an automatic death sentence. Take good care of yourself.


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  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited May 2021

    Hi Zoey,

    I watched my mother sicken and die from metastatic breast cancer when I was in my late teens. When I got my diagnosis, it was really hard for me not to jump straight to the worst case scenario. I actually bought a cemetery plot in between seeing the word malignant and my first appointment with a surgical oncologist (I was 39).

    Anyway, I'm here to send you validation and love, but also to tell you to get your butt to the screening.

    Our mothers' experiences are not ours. Our mothers' cancers are not ours. Our mothers' treatment is not ours.

    Here's a thought experiment for you:

    • If it is nothing serious - wouldn't it feel nice to know that?
    • If it is something serious but treatable, like early stage cancer or certain kinds of advanced stage cancer - wouldn't you like to know that?
    • If it indeed turns out to be the absolute worst case scenario of an advanced stage cancer with very limited promising treatment options - at that point, you can STILL choose not to have treatment if that's what you wish, and you can spend down every single credit card in the mean time. Yeah that might seem shallow, but it's a thing I've told myself. If I have something terminal I'm going to find out what it's like to fly first class intercontinental before I go, and wake up to room service in a luxury hotel.


    If you are navigating this without your mom, like I was, that SUCKS, and can feel so alone and scary. We are here for you on these Boards. I am here for you and glad to PM if you think that would be helpful. If it does turn out to be something serious, it turned out I had access to social workers both through my treatment center and through other organizations who were very helpful. Social workers are not like therapists/psychiatrists, who are there to fix you. Social workers are just there to help support you, with anything and everything. They can help deal with insurance, help connect to services and financial support, help find support groups, and help find therapists/psychiatrists (which I am a huge fan of and also used, btw), just listen and cheerlead and/or commiserate with you, or anything you need.

    Anyway, I go through all of that not because I think it is really likely that you will have something serious, but just in case it's helpful for you to gird up your courage and get out there for the test. Knowledge is power.

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  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 1,332
    edited May 2021

    HI Zoey! I can't add to what's been said - a lot to think about while you decide how to proceed.... Just want to welcome you and send support....

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  • Janet_111
    Janet_111 Member Posts: 41
    edited May 2021

    I am sorry Zoey 86 you are going through that.

    I am hardly making myself for biopsy. I was with my mom during her treatment and I never ever thought I will be in same situation. I did many many changes in my lifestyle so I will never deal with cancer but here I am .

    I have to go for biopsy since they found something suspicious in my mammogram ( had two mammograms)

    Folks from this forum is and was blessing. I hope you go for biopsy and get good new . No cancer in your results.

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  • Redcanoe
    Redcanoe Member Posts: 131
    edited May 2021

    I am so sorry about the loss of your mom and that you are going through the stress of a biopsy.

    I had two lymph nodes "positive for metastasis" but it was only regional metastasis which is considered stage two. I do not have metastatic breast cancer. I had full body scans right at the beginning of chemo. Treatments have advanced so much that my prognosistic stage is stage 1B. Please do the biopsy. Hopefully it is negative, but please know that many people with spread to the lymph nodes are still considered early breast cancer.

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  • Zoey86
    Zoey86 Member Posts: 9
    edited May 2021

    Just wanted to thank everyone who replied. I’m bit overwhelmed at moment so really don’t have much to say other than I decided to go for my test.

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