Mom told she needed biopsy today

Options
Pamela2835
Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
edited June 2021 in Waiting for Test Results

Hello,

I am posting because of my mom, I hope that’s okay.

She got called back for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound today and was told she needed a biopsy. They didn’t tell her anything, but I got on the phone and called her doctors office. They closed at noon, but I asked the answering service to have someone call us and the office PA did.

She said they found a small mass in the direction of the armpit, which that location makes be nervous. They said it was taller rather then wider and there’s shadowing - I know both of those things could be cause for concern. She said it was non-vascular, which I think is good - but I really know nothing about any of this. Her biopsy is Tuesday.

I am scared to death (I can’t stop crying, but I’m not doing it in front of her)she’s being very calm so far. I didn’t think we’d get told anything like this today - I thought she’d do the call back and that was it.

Did anyone have similar findings?


Thank you so much

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited April 2021

    Hi Pamela,

    I am sorry to hear about your mom. I'm quite sure that many people herehave been in a position similar to your mom's. I know that the words breast cancer are scary for most, but you're putting the horse way ahead of the cart. With very little info, other than imaging, it is near impossible to know exactly what her situation is until the results of the biopsy are available. If, and that's a big if, her biopsy shows a malignancy then you will have some further information and a treatment plan will be developed. Please try to put this is perspective. Most, not all, biopsies turn out to be negative. Those that are not negative may be early stage and treatable. Breast cancer is generally slow growing and no one dies from breast cancer that remains confined to the breast. Cases where it has already spread beyond the breast at time of diagnosis are also rare, about 6%. So although it may have come as a shock, you are far from a situation that merits non-stop crying 😢. I'm not saying to deny your emotions but simply put it into perspective.

    Please take good care of yourself and keep things in perspective. Your mom is highly unlikely to be at death's doorstep even if she does end up with a positive diagnosis.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Member Posts: 1,307
    edited April 2021

    Pamela, I'm sorry you're here and that your mom and family are going through this. Having a mass toward the armpit is not at all unusual. I believe most women's tumors are in the upper, outer quadrant of the breast, which is what it sounds like you were told.

    I know you are scared but right now you have very little information. In fact, when you know more, probably you will be much calmer! Over the weekend, try not to use Dr Google, and try not to spend time imagining all the bad things. It sucks! There's no doubt about it, and you have good reason to be concerned. But the worry doesn't actually help. So see if you can find ways to distract yourself. When you catch yourself caught in a worry spin, stop, breathe, think about your toe or something completely different. Find a funny show to watch. Go for a walk.

    You will find out a lot more next week. With the biopsy Tuesday, you'll probably know on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on your clinic or hospital.

    My best to your mom and you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 767
    edited April 2021

    Stopping to second Moth's words. The odds are it is not even cancer, but it is better to check and be sure.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited April 2021

    2019whatayear,

    What did moth say?

    MountainMia also gave you good advice about staying away from Dr. Google. He does not give good advice!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2021

    Thank you so very much for the supportive words. I’ve read them a few times now to work on keeping myself calm. I am working on not playing the “what if” game. The waiting is going to be hard!

    Many, many thanks - you are all amazing.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2021

    Forgive me, just venting, but this waiting is horrible. I know everyone here has or is going through it - I had no idea how stressful it would be. My mom has been so strong, but yesterday it was even starting to get to her.

    I am so trying to take the advice all of you wonderful people gave me, but my mind is just wondering into bad places. We are literally waiting for the phone to ring.

    I am so much very sorry for everyone who is or has gone through this.

    Apologies for the vent

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kathabus
    kathabus Member Posts: 205
    edited April 2021

    That's ok to vent! Yes, the waiting is the worst. Everything you're going through is so normal. Minds start to wander and go to bad places, which most likely is NOT the case at all. All you can do is try to keep busy.

    When did she have her biopsy? When do you expect the results?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2021

    Thank you for you kind reply :)

    The biopsy was 9:00 Tuesday morning, which somewhere in my realistic mind I know isn’t that long ago. We were told last Friday that she needed it. We were also told we could hear yesterday, today or tomorrow. I’m nervous about tomorrow because the doctors office closes at noon. I feel like we are going to be waiting all weekend.

    I know I don’t have reason to be yet, but I am so scared.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited April 2021

    Hang in there. It is possible you may not know until next week. Try to breathe and know they want to make sure they have it right. Some systems post results online in the patient portals but with some things the doctor has to review first and "release" it before it shows no the patient side too. Since you know they close at noon tomorrow she might be able to put n a call to see if they know her results and if someone can call you and report in to you. Best wishes.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited April 2021

    Pamela, Like BC said, It's not unheard of for you or Mom to make a call and ck to see if results are in or maybe they are posted online in a patient portal. Having to wait over the week-end can be hard. If you have to wait, try to keep busy doing things you enjoy. Worrying won't change the results either way. I know it's easier said than done not to worry...hang in there! Best wishes:)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 1,332
    edited April 2021

    Pamela sorry you and your mom find yourselves here.... As some have said biopsies more often come back benign. I had several call backs on my right breast with two stereotactic biopsies - both benign. Then the left breast - not so lucky....tho also was... contained to the ducts, no invasion, etc. Keep in mind they have come so far with breast cancer treatment that IF it is cancer it can be a lot to go through though likely all would be ok at the end of treatment. I also ditto waiting is soooo difficult..... Hope you hear something today to avoid the wait over the weekend...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited May 2021

    I did call the doctors office twice yesterday (I was politely persistent). As it turned out they were there to four yesterday. They were actually wonderful and did try for us, they called the lab twice, including at the end of the day, but the biopsy sample was still processing. They sounded genuinely regretful at the end of day that they couldn’t get the results. They seem to think Monday is the day.

    We are actually fairly okay today - we are not waiting for the phone to ring, I think that’s making a difference.

    You know (as I seem to be able to think a little more clearly today) of course no one wants to find themselves going through something like this, ever, but yet you truly do find the best of people during these times.

    Everyone in the doctor’s office was so nice yesterday, we have people checking on us...

    And all of you - I am in awe of the support I have received here. I can’t thank you all enough.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited May 2021

    Try to relax and enjoy the weekend. And I have to ask, is your mother incapacitated in some way, or not an English speaker, since you are the one talking to her medical caregivers and they are giving you information directly?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 1,332
    edited May 2021

    Thanks for the update Pamela! Hope you and your mom are able to enjoy the weekend some. I bet it is helping you don't have to jump every time the phone rings.... Hopefully you hear something Monday. I always say the best and worst of folks comes through during stressful times.... I think the latter is a smaller number of folks overall and mostly infrequent for the rest of us.....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited May 2021

    Mom does have breast cancer. IDC ER+/PR+ HER 2- I barely know what all of that means. Appointment with the breast surgeon next Tuesday.

    Sorry this is so short, I don’t know what else to say right now.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited May 2021

    Hi Pamela! I'm sorry to hear your news. Your Mom has the most common form of breast cancer, which means that it has been studied quite a bit. Until you know more about her cancer (Grade? Size? In the nodes?), all I can tell you is that her doctors will recommend surgery and hormonal therapy. Chemo is a possibility, but the best thing about ER+/HER2- breast cancer is that researchers have developed the Oncotype Test. This test will tell your Mom whether or not the benefits of chemo outweigh the risks. Many women with her kind of cancer are able to avoid chemo because their Oncotype number was low. ((Hugs)) One step at a time! Breast cancer is very treatable!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 1,332
    edited May 2021

    Sorry to hear this Pamela! Please keep in mind they have come a long way with breast cancer treatment. It will be important to gather the additional information Elaine mentioned. Please keep us updated....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Salamandra
    Salamandra Member Posts: 1,444
    edited May 2021

    Sorry you got this news :(

    This can be a very difficult time. I remember feeling like every time I got an answer (lab result, etc), it meant waiting for the answers to three new questions, and it felt like there was *always* some really important information (that would affect my treatment/prognosis/etc) that I was waiting for.

    This is a marathon, not a sprint. Take care of yourself so you can be there for your mom. And try to keep your hopes up. After I got my diagnosis, I felt so unlucky that it just felt like it would turn out the worst case scenario for everything. But feelings are not facts, as they say, and actually it turned out that after that one big unlucky dice roll (malignant), I ended up with plenty of lucky ones that bode well for my long term health. That is still a very likely scenario for your mom.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited May 2021

    Please forgive me, because I know this is about her and not me, but how do I do this??? I am terrified and once again can’t stop crying. My older siblings all have families of their own, but I don’t, I’m with my mom - we are extremely close.

    I feel scared and lonely and like we aren’t going to be happy again.

    And I know I have to calm down and keep it in perspective, but it’s just so hard.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited May 2021

    Oh Pamela. I'm sorry to hear that you're so upset. But, breast cancer is usually not an immediate death sentence unless it has invaded a major organ and even then, it might be treatable for years. Chances are very good that your Mom will be here for years to come. Please seek out some counseling or talk to a close friend about what you're going through. I know that you're very close to your Mom, but it isn't her job to cheer you up right now. Feel free to vent here if you like. ((Hugs))

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited May 2021

    Pamela,

    I am so sorry that your mother has been dx'ed. Hard as it may be, the best way to help your mom is to stay in the present, stay with what you know and try to shut the door on the “what if's" and imagining the worst. There is still a lot of info to learn about you mom's situation in particular and breast cancer in general. There are no guarantees with bc, or anything in life, but your mom is not at deaths doorstep and with luck she will do well. I know this is difficult but you can do it! Additionally, bco has a forum for family and caregivers that might be helpful. Most of us have breast cancer on this forum but if you are looking for ways for you yourself to cope, some of those threads will be helpful as those who post there have had to cope with their own loved ones breast cancer. They have been or are now in the same situation as you are and I think their experiences will be something you can relate to and find some comfort in.Take good care of you.

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/16


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pamela2835
    Pamela2835 Member Posts: 10
    edited June 2021

    Hello everyone!

    I wanted to come back on because I feel that I owe something to this particular thread. Not that anyone here has ever asked for anything, but as far as I can see, only given to others. People were so kind and responsive to a much more hysterical me, I just felt I wanted to say a couple of things.

    From the caregiver's perspective, I completely crumbled in those first days. I did have to see my doctor and actually Xanax had to get me over those first few days. Never once in my life had an issue with anxiety and it hit like a ton of bricks. It feels almost embarrassing and selfish to admit – I wasn't the one with the diagnosis.

    I needed something good or positive I think – certainly got that here, but when I looked further online, I was finding stories telling me that two years later people still feel like they are being "stabbed" when they think about their parent's diagnosis, and nothing has gotten better. Not helpful…

    I felt in those first days like there was nothing to look forward to, like we were never going to be happy again.

    Dramatic? Maybe? Probably? Yes? But also not true.

    Things have gotten better, and I can tell you my mother is saying the same (just like these amazing ladies will tell you and remember, this is coming from the girl who needed Xanax). Now that things are moving forward, we are talking to people, getting answers (still waiting on some) – she's doing okay. Having answers and the start of a plan is helping. Although we feel a bit like we are learning a new language with all of the medical stuff :)

    There are moments of upset and fear (terror) for sure – for both of us, but we are still doing things we've always done. By the way – it's okay if you can't be okay or can't be strong in whatever moment you are in. No one can be all of the time, even when not talking about cancer.

    The odds were so against a diagnosis and yet here we are. Really? Couldn't beat the odds at something else? Mega Millions or Powerball perhaps?

    But the absolute truth, for people who are waiting for results is that most do come back benign, as those on this site will also tell you (and that's from the experts in the field we are now seeing, not Dr. Google).

    It's odd to be mad at something you can't see or talk to, but I have been mad at cancer. It has no right to interfere in my mother's life, your lives, your families, or my family. In wishing for completely impossible and unrealistic things, if I had some crazy, supernatural, magical, witchy power I would make cancer disappear from the face of the earth for all of us.

    I would never say my experience or my mother's is going to be anyone else's, I have no right to say that or tell people how to feel. If you are looking for something like I was – I don't know if positive is the right word or hope maybe – please know that we are doing okay. I can add my voice and my mom's voice to the amazing ladies on here and tell you that.

    Forgive my very long rambling post, but to the selfless and amazing women on this site who spend so much time caring for others – thank you! To all of you, I wish you all nothing, nothing but the best and well wishes. Please take care.

    Pam

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories