STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

So yesterday a chemo nurse called me, wondering why DH hasn’t been in for chemo. I said I tried to call 3 times to cancel. “Oh that front desk”. And that he’s in hospice. Her ‘tude changed immediately.

Went in today for my flush and labs, nurses were falling all over themselves with I’m so sorries. And distracted me so much I didn’t get to chew on the office manager. Oh well.

Then I told them I had to get tranquilizers for his dog, all the hospice ppl upset him so much. I thought they would hit the floor One said I should keep them for myself

Thank you for listening. Sad to find out I have osteopenia. Can’t manage one more thing. My ‘why’ for living is gone. Yep-talked to doc and taking meds but life in my little world is just too hard. I feel my heart worn out from cancer battle and the body too and now when I need to ‘mom up’ I just can’t. Angry at dementia too-because my mil would know what to do. Heart telling mind it’s time to go. Brain telling heart it’s not sick enough... yet. The pandemic leaves me no safe place to go. Thanks for being here

Thanks Cm2020. Just feeling heard helps.

Hugs to both of you right now. Vent when you want and we are here.

Happy Easter to you too!

Getting my 2nd COVID shot today. Sore arm and no bad side effects otherwise. Took some Tylenol and felt a little stuffy after 1st round. My son who is a teacher had both of his and got really tired after his 2nd one and had to rest for a day and is young and healthy. Of course running after 4 kids in the house might have something to do with that!!

Nope, not cool at all and I would be blowing my top also.

runor, can your MO get you in to see the Gyn oncologist faster to rule out a problem.

CTMB - I would LOVE for you to slug some people in the mouth! 

Beesie, I have no idea who has what report. I can't get my onc on the phone.  I can't get the gyno on the phone. It's all, go sit down, be quiet, wait until we call you, we might forget you, have several times over this whole cancer thing, but don't worry, we have the situation in hand. Yeah, right.

I called my onc's office yesterday and they told me he'd call me April 21. Really? I have to wait 3 weeks for a fucking phone call? So I called back today and got an email address and said I want someone in the office to print the damn email off and hand it to the onc. He might not have any input. But I want him to KNOW what's going on. I am being treated as if I am postmenopausal when in fact there is no evidence to prove this. Yes my periods quit but they only quit when I went on tamoxifen. In which case a chemically removed period is NOT sufficient evidence upon which to base menopausal status. I think I should go off tamox for a month, have a blood test, find out if I am or am not menopostal (not a typo!) and then gyno can base treatment and findings on that information. It is my onc who has to arrange for a tamox break and blood test and time is a wasting and I can't freaking get a hold of him! Hope his receptionist does what I asked and hands him my damn email. This is insane. 

Runor, tamoxifen is a trickster. If the ovaries go into overdrive, you get high estradiol levels and no periods but you are not postmenopausal. Even some doctors do not know this. (If you need references to papers, PM me.) If they test your E2 and FSH levels they can see your true menopausal status, and you don't have to be off tamoxifen for them to check this. I know this because eventually my periods stopped on tamoxifen and my E2 was super high and FSH low, so not postmenopausal.

And it seems to me that if your hormones have a big fluctuation for some reason that could trigger a mega-period. (Not a doctor, just reasoning here.)

Got call from emergency room doc who said, basically, that I am not 2 mm thick, I am 2 CENTIMETERS thick and my ultra s. shows some very alarming results. I told her I had a gyno appt a month from now and she said no, not good enough, you need to see someone much sooner and I hope you are prepared to part ways with your uterus as that is the most likely outcome from the results I see. My bubble burst. Meno or not meno, a 2cm thick uterus is bad news. 

At this point I just want it gone. I don't want anymore ultrasounds, or biopsises or D&Cs. Just book the OR and take it out! Done deal. Question, do I fight to keep ovaries and spare myself instant menopause? If I have gone through menopause this might not be a big issue. I don't know. I can't think. I just want to throw up and cry. It's almost exactly 4 years since my lumpectomy, April 2017. And here we go again. A song that way too many of us have had to sing. My god. 

runor: crazy-making times for you. Yes -- most of us Canadians have been through some sort of stupid wait game, but when it is urgent it should URGENT, meaning now not weeks away.

Runor, hanging on in your pocket. Can the ER doc help facilitate your being seen soon? I went the total hysterectomy route, but I was clearly post menopause so a very different situation. If you have questions about my surgery experience, feel free to PM me.

Think I mentioned elsewhere, I was nowhere near menopause and my hysterectomy removed all but my right ovary which, bless its little heart, has never ever caused me any issues. I'd had my tubes tied (well left side tube removed b/c of a tubal pregnancy) nearly 20 years before that. But I bled all the time, just like what Alice described.

Also happy to answer any questions you might have. Or be a place to vent. Here for you in any/all ways.

So sorry, runor. You're really good at getting your point across so start making calls and don't stop until you get a plan in place. Did the ER manage to stop your bleeding? Maybe you need to return there and push them to arrange a follow up appointment for you. I agree that the time frames your doctors are discussing are ridiculous - you need help NOW! Is there a NP or PA in one of your doctors' offices who could intervene for you? Would a nurse navigator be of any use? Sharpen your tongue and go out and rattle some cages!

If you do go the hysterectomy route (and it sounds like you definitely should), my advice is to let them take your ovaries when they remove your uterus. I kept my ovaries after my hysterectomy and they have just created additional problems, generating cysts and creating estrogen that fed my ER+ cancer. You don't need more things to worry about. Good luck and keep us posted.

Edited to add: I used to envy those of you using the Canadian health care system. Your post makes me appreciate my American medical coverage. It’s expensive and can be complicated but I’ve never had to wait that long for treatment.

Oh, runor, I'm so sorry you are having this crisis. As JKL says, use your amazing eloquence to advocate for yourself. Your uterus sent you an urgent message that you may need surgery to get rid of a problem that is brewing, and hopefully surgery will be all you need, and you can get through it and resume normal(ish) life. I don't know if ovary removal is advisable or not, but I doubt instant menopause would be difficult given your age.