Radiation December 2018

Just had the two year anniversary of my cancer surgery. Clear mammogram and so grateful. The arimidex was hard the first few weeks but the side effects settled down and it's all good now. I did have a yellow discharge from the surgery side that they ultimately decided was just one of those things. Scared me though. I'm waiting until December to get the next bone density scan to see if the arimidex has pushed me over the line into real osteoporosis. I have been walking a half hour every day which helps my mood and blood pressure.

It's a rough time for everybody. Hope you are all doing ok. Peebles thanks for all the dog pictures, I think we lived for those during December and January of our mutual treatment.

I am grateful to see my daughters and grandchildren (three of them, when I thought there might not be any a few years ago). I am pulling up out of grief for losing my husband and mother in 2019 and trying to keep head above water and be sensible during the epidemic. It's northern California so pretty good mask compliance. This too shall pass.

Love to all!

egregious and dani444 so good to hear an update! I was thinking about our radiation group - it's October 2020 and officially 2 years since we all started this part of the journey together. So... happy 2 years to all the ladies that helped me through this aka our awesome virtual community. I would love to hear an update from all of you if you are still checking into the boards!

Egregious you absolutely are a Wonder Woman. Congrats on the clear mammogram and I'm glad you have your children and grandchildren to continue to be with you in this world. I could not imagine going through this without my husband so I cannot fathom what you have been through, I can only say that I am in awe and admiration of your strength and I know your husband and mother are looking after you from another plane and I'm glad you have your kids and grandkids. And are doing well! It's so nice to hear the paw pics were appreciated when we were all in treatment too.

Dani - wishing you all the best for a smooth recovery from the latest surgery! What a strong woman you are too to continue to face the next thing head on. I am also still struggling with tamoxifen SEs - I know I was the one with the fewer SEs but I can't seem to lose weight on tamoxifen no matter what I do. But I'm too wary to stop it if the weight thing is the only major issue but also then I worry because I think cancer is linked to weight to a degree but my oncologist and my family don't want me to stop taking it so I continue with it and I keep thinking that maybe I'll push through the weight loss wall. It is really frustrating though. So, I guess we can bear through the tamoxifen SEs together and do a toast when we reach the 5 year mark?

My own update - we lost dear sweet 18 year old Tucker around a month ago now, our border collie mix and my protector boy. It's heartbreaking but we are comforted by the fact that he lived a really long life and now he's reunited with Kit Kat across the rainbow bridge. So now our paw family consists of Domino, the last survivor of the original pack who will turn 14 this week and who I hope lives forever, and new puppy Finley. Domino is my ESA and I just hope she has many, many healthy years ahead with me. Other than that, my husband and I have been working from home, I'm still taking the 10mg dose of tamoxifen daily, can't lose weight, but otherwise OK I guess on SEs. Oh and I've come to be OK with the permanent dent in my right breast from the lumpectomy. Husband doesn't mind and he and I are the only ones who will see it outside of doctors so I don't mind.

Here's a pic of the original paw family - from left to right Domino, Kit Kat and Tucker:

Here's a pic of the current paw family - Domino and Finley:

Hope to hear from all of you with an update

Happy New Year And always thank you for the Domino and Finley pictures.

What did you break? That sucks Wishing a fast healing!

I'm doing alright. Very high anxiety lately that I can't tell if it's related to my job, my diet, or some combination, but it's making everything harder and I hate it. I was off the toremifene for a bit because I thought I'd try to get pregnant as a single mother by choice, but things not looking so good on the sperm front so getting back on and will stay on until/unless I'm 100% moving towards it.

Here is my companion creature looking picturesque

Hi Everyone!

I have not checked in for quite a long time and I am so happy that I did tonight. I had an appointment with my oncologist and another Zometa infusion yesterday so that made me think of checking in on everyone else. It was great to read updates from you. I've made it through two years as well. Once a year I take a 6-8 week break from Femara when the joint pain becomes too much. The reset seems to work. In the meantime I have developed a lot of osteoarthritis in my fingers which is so annoying and sometimes uncomfortable.

It's been a devastasting year for me in other ways. In March 2020 my husband died, in May his 98 year old dad also passed away. We had two funerals in the same week in early July. Then in August my mom died. I've been struggling emotionally for a year. I've participated in a couple of bereavement groups, and did group therapy (Zoom) for insomnia and increased Zoloft, just to get me through it all. I have a second frozen shoulder too. I lost my part-time library job due to the library closing for the pandemic and I miss that so much. I have wonderful family and friends and lots of support but still a lot of challenges with trying to close up my husband's real estate office, trying to figure out so many things on my own, dealing with appliances that all seem to be breaking at once...oh my. I'm hoping for a peaceful year.

It sounds like everyone has had some challenges in the past year.

Dani, more surgery and covid! Thanks for being a front line worker. This must be such a stressful time. I hope your work schedule allows you some time to get enough rest.Take care! Purple Cat, what a time you have had. Waiting for test results is the worse. I hope you are doing okay back on Tamoxifen. Your writing indicates a great attitude about dealing with all of your trouble. Salamandra, I hope your anxiety is under control. I love it (not) when people tell me "just don't worry", like one can just stop. I'm glad you have a beautiful cat to cuddle. I hope that brings some comfort. Egregious, I remember when you lost your husband and I thought about you dealing with a huge loss and recovering from cancer. So many times I thought to send you a personal message, but I never did. I think I didn't know what to say...and now I know there are no words, but I wish I had told you I was thinking of you. I'm glad your family is so supportive. Pebbles, I am sorry for your loss too. People who have never had pets might not understand how these furry creatures become part of our families and what a great a loss it is to lose one. We all loved your pictures so much. Your dogs helped to cheer us and make us smile! I hope you are recovering from your break.

I'd love to hear more updates and hope that others will check in. Be safe, be well.

Ladies it’s so wonderful to hear from you, I so value this virtual community we’ve created. I haven’t checked in since my New Year’s updates so am so sorry to be responding late to some things!

LPlibrary my heart goes out to you especially. You are such a strong woman to be facing so much - we are here for you, I will try and check in more regularly, and continue to persevere. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, you just need to persevere through this difficult time.

Salamandra - I guess there was a spell check on my original post. I broke my toe! All I did was stub my toe and it broke so it makes me wonder if that’s a side effect from tamoxifen. But I continue to take it dutifully. I’m healed now and I did swim with a broken toe at week 3... the first couple weeks I couldn’t put any weight on it but the last few weeks of recovery were more normal. And I understand the anxiety - I feel it too as I’ve gained a lot of weight with tamoxifen and work late often. I get some zen with swimming but need to find more balance still too.

Also on whether to conceive, it all depends on how much you want to have children or not. I’m 45 and my husband and I created embryos before I started tamoxifen and none of them “took” so we have resigned ourselves to the fact that we won’t have kids and we have to be OK with that. There is a big difference between 41 and 45 so if you really want it, go for it now.

Dani - what a relief that you at least had a mild case of COVID and made it through! You are amazing with how much you’ve been through. Have they been able to schedule the fat grafting and skin removal yet?

Anyways as for me, my toe is healed, I’m swimming 2-3 times a week (72 laps in an hour in an Olympic sized pool!) which is a benefit to working from home (we have a community center across the street), I continue to take tamoxifen but have gained massive weight on it which is frustrating and makes me feel like I’m not myself and wonder if I should stop taking tamoxifen but then my family and husband and oncologist of course don’t want me to stop. I did just get my mammogram results and I continue to be in the clear! Everyone one of you can understand the anxiety at getting a mammogram and then the relief at the clear results.

Oh and perhaps most importantly, Domino and Finley just got groomed so here are some adorable fluff fluff pics.

I hope I continue to hear from you and we continue to share our updates on this journey together.

Pebbles