Second time having breast cancer

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kansasgrandma
kansasgrandma Member Posts: 4
edited November 2020 in Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis

I had breast cancer 18 years ago and never thought i might get it again in the other breast. It has been so depressing to think I have to go through it again. Has anyone else ever felt so depressed because they have had breast cancer more than once. I am just beginning to start treatment. I have had the surgery and opted for a lumpectomy because I am elderly and didn't want to go through the stress of mastectomy. I will be starting the radiation and chemo soon and am absolutely dreading the thought of doing this again. Right now I am very depressed and am thinking why bother as I am elderly to go through this. Anyone else ever felt this way.

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited November 2020

    What kind of breast cancer is it? Do you have a stage and grade? And what do you consider "elderly"? If you give more information, people with similar cancers and/or of a similar age might chime in. I guess medically I'm in the elderly category because I'm 70 - I was 68 when I had breast cancer and kidney cancer, with surgeries a few months apart. But if anyone calls me "elderly" to my face they're going to have a pretty bad day. 🤕

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  • Peregrinelady
    Peregrinelady Member Posts: 1,019
    edited November 2020
    Alice, you crack me up. 😅
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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited November 2020

    I'm sorry you are facing this again.

    You are not alone. The dirty little secret with breast cancer is that once we've been diagnosed one time, we are all higher risk to be diagnosed a second time, not with a recurrence (although obviously that's a risk too) but with a new primary. Our risk is double - if not more - the risk of the average woman who has never been diagnosed. This board is full of people who have been in your shoes - diagnosed a second time after 10 or 15 or 20 years - and very angry about it.

    To AliceBastable's questions, what is your diagnosis? And how old are you?


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  • kansasgrandma
    kansasgrandma Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2020

    they found a stage 2 tumor and also DCIS. So they removed both. I am 83 so you can imagine why this has bothered me so much. I have a 50 minute drive to get to treatment so it is sure tiring. Has anyone else ever gotten discouraged. At my age I truly debated taking any treatments but I have a fantastic daughter who has been my backbone and be3n there for me. Just nice to be able to talk about i

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited November 2020

    Stage 2 but what kind, as in er/pr+ or triple neg or triple pos or a mix? I hope Beesie will return with her handy statistics to give some perspective on chemo at your age. I'm so glad your daughter is there for support!

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  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 1,031
    edited November 2020

    kansasgrandma - I am sorry you are going through this. And don't let anyone call you elderly. I was in a bike store a year or so ago and made a comment about appropriating a bike belonging to my brother when I was in high school, 1974 or so. The "kid' said, wow, that is before I was even born. I curled my lip, in jest, and told him never to say that to a customer. I am going through BC for the 3rd time. My oncologist thinks each one has been a """new""" cancer rather than recurrence, but when pressed, admits there is no way of really knowing. The 3rd time, I did get depressed, and even considered throwing in the towel and spending my savings traveling and on all those things on the bucket list. But I am fighting it and hoping to raft the Colorado through the Grand Canyon next spring. This year's trip was cancelled because of Covid. Now that space travel might be an option for us regular folk, if it becomes affordable, one more thing to add to the bucket list.

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  • abigailj
    abigailj Member Posts: 145
    edited November 2020

    hi kansasgrandma - I have a relative by marriage who was diagnosed for the first time at 89 (her sister got it early 60s, like me, her mom got it at around 70) and she chose to have an MX and a course of radiation - like you, she has family that loves her and she said that really motivated her to go through with the treatment. She is doing well, celebrated her 92nd birthday in July and I’m hoping you will too someday. My best wishes to you.

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  • 7of9
    7of9 Member Posts: 833
    edited November 2020

    Hi Kansas Gram.... I will be 5 yrs in 2 months from a recurrence. Did surgery (axillary lymph node dissection), complete hysterectomy, radiation and 4 rounds of taxiteribble. All while working 25 -30 hrs a week with a 6 year old. I will be 50 bext year. Id say only the Taxotere was really hard ( last 2 doses kicked my butt). Surgery was easy. I thought nipple surgery was more traumatic and exhausting honestly. The radiation was easy just use the aquaphor liberally. And don't hesitate to ask for attivan and ambien. You can do this.

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited November 2020

    kansasgramdma, so sorry you are dealing wtih this again. My Mom was DX'd with BC at 60 and again at 83 yrs old. In the same breast. LX first time, MX second time and on Femara since SX. She has fared very well through it all. She developed a small infection at the incision, but it was caught early and healed. She has other health issues, but my Son calls her The Bionic Grandma! She gets along very well now at almost 87 yrs old. I know it must be stressful for you, esp with COVID right now. If you need any resources for help, contact your facilities' Social worker or The American Cancer Society. Best wishes!:)

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  • kansasgrandma
    kansasgrandma Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2020

    Thanks to everyone that has been so great in encouraging me. I honestly have been so darned depressed with this virus and not being able to get out except drive 50 minutes for radiation. But I have decided to quit feeling sorry for myself and get up and do something. They have been really nice at the radiation. They said that after radiation I won't need chemo so that was good news for a change. The tumor was stage 2 and then there was also DCIS in the breast. They seemed to be more concerned with the DCIS. So they are giving extra dosage to that spot these last two weeks. Anyhow, thanks to everyone. I am not that good at the computer so it takes me awhile to get back to answering Thanks to everyone for the encouraging words. Has really helped So I am hanging in there

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited November 2020

    kansasgrandma

    Thanks for getting back to us, and I'm glad you have a treatment plan started.

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  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 1,332
    edited November 2020

    So glad you've either wrapped up or it seems a week or so from wrapping up all your treatment! I hope you're feeling somewhat better with this part of things behind you. I hear how isolated you've felt with COVID and dealing with cancer too! I'm sure there's still some worry though do what you can to enjoy whatever interests you can do right now - maybe even explore something new....

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  • kansasgrandma
    kansasgrandma Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2020

    Hi everyone:

    Just two more weeks to go and I will be done with the radiation. They are changing the dosage and putting it more to the surgical site the way I understand. Doing alright but does it make anyone else tired But at least I feel better and don't feel so depressed. Did anyone else feel depressed while they were going through the treatments. Just wish I could get out a little bit. But I have decided to get the Christmas decorations out and feel like the holidays. I hope everyone is coping with this staying home during this virus. Everyone stay safe

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  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 4,800
    edited November 2020

    kansasgrandma, rads can definitely tire you out, and this stupid covid isn't helping. Hang in there, finish line is in site! I too have been getting Xmas stuff. Dh put lights on our house but I realized I'd like lights on the back along the deck railings etc. Saw a string which is 100m of LEDs in Amazon and I'm going to get them

    Depression is real. Do check out what your agency offers. Many have virtual/zoom appt with peers or counsellors. It's really good to be able to speak about how much it all sucks.

    Hugs


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