For Dog and Cat Lovers...

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
>
>8:00 am- Dog food! My favorite thing!
>9:30 am- A car ride! My favorite thing!
>9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>12:00 pm- Lunch! My favorite thing!
>1:00 pm- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>3:00 pm- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>5:00 pm- Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>7:00 pm- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>8:00 pm- Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>11:00 pm- Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
>Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
>
>Day 983 of my captivity.
>
>My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
>objects. They
>dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
>hash or
>some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
>rations
>perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep
>up my
>strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
>In an
>attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>
>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
>feet. I
>had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>condescending
>comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
>
>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
>placed
>in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
>could hear
>the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
>due to
>the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
>use it to
>my advantage.
>
>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
>this
>again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
>I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
>snitches. The
>dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
>seems
>to be
>more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally challenged.
>The
>bird
>has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
>guards
>regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
>have
>arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
>safe. For
>now...