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Cjt92
Cjt92 Member Posts: 3
edited November 2020 in Waiting for Test Results

Hey guys πŸ‘‹

Came across this site after typing in "Waiting for biopsy and scared", which pretty much explains itself, except "scared" is an understatement. I'm absolutely terrified. My biopsy and mammogram is tomorrow. I've been waiting since the 2nd. Did an ultrasound on the 2nd and was told they've found 2 large masses in my right breast. Was also told that it was CLEARLY not cysts and that it could possibly be fibroadenoma because it's common amongst women my age (I'm 27) EXCEPT and I quote - " it's most likely not because fibroadenoma would appear smooth and yours are not". I'm still confused on what that meant because I haven't asked him to clarify. In fact, I didn't ask any questions at all because after they told me they found 2 large masses I mentally checked out. I was in total shock. My mind straight away thought of cancer and my mind has been there since. My fear and anxiety is through the roof. I haven't been feeling too good for a while now, way before even doing the ultrasound. Been experiences sharp pains and sometimes dull aches in my ribs and back (near my shoulder blades and spine) as well as some other concerning symptoms. Knowing this, I've mentally convinced myself that what I have is cancer and that it has spread through my body. Googling doesn't help either. I know that it's horrible to think this way and to scare myself without even having results yet, but it's so hard not to think this way when I've been experiencing these scary symptoms within my body and especially now after the ultrasound and what was said. I've been a long time smoker (off and on) for some time now and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. My aunt (dad's sister) died of breast cancer at the young age of 30. I'm a mom. My son is 2years old and all I can think about is him. The other night while he slept I laid right next to him, held his hand and just cried softly to myself so that I wouldn't wake him. I haven't eaten in 6 days and I'm barely getting any sleep. I'm too worried about this biopsy and what the results could possibly be. I can barely even function properly but I'm trying my hardest for my son. I'm more than worried. I'm out of my mind about it and I feel like I've been sucked into a dark hole. I've been putting on a happy and "normal" face for my son because I would never want him to see me in this type of despair or feed off of that energy, but inside I'm depressed and full of fear. Full of what ifs. I'm sorry for ranting on for so long, but after coming across this site and reading other people's experiences - this is the first time I've felt like I wasn't alone in this and that someone out there understands, which I know is a little silly because a lot of people go through this all the time, but I've just felt so alone in this whole thing. Haven't been able to talk to my family about how I'm feeling. Don't want to upset them or make them feel just worried as I am. Mammogram and biopsy tomorrow 🀞 hoping and praying for the best.

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Comments

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited November 2020

    Breathe. You are in the worst place right now. Go do something fun with your son. Anything to distract your thoughts.

    Dr Google IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

    You will have your tests. If it is cancer, you will get a plan for dealing with it, and that does help. And you will do what you need to do. You can do it. This site is wonderful for support, and there is nothing wrong with asking your drs for chemical help sleeping.

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited November 2020

    Cjt92,

    Please try to back up and not make yourself sick over this until your biopsy comes back and you know you have something to worry about.. Here β€˜s the thing. 60% of women have fibrocystic breasts, so most of us have some β€œmasses” in our breasts. While certainly not impossible, very few women in their twenties are diagnosed with breast cancer. The fact that there are multiple masses leans the odds further to a benign process rather than cancer. Women come here all the time with what turn out to be fibroadenomas that forgot to read the textbook on how they and their edges were supposed to appear on imaging. Do you have a copy of your radiology report? What is the Bi-Rads rating? Anything estimated to have a greater than 2% chance of being cancer is recommended for biopsy, so the vast majority of results from biopsies are benign. What do the conclusions and recommendations of the radiology report exactly say?

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  • Cjt92
    Cjt92 Member Posts: 3
    edited November 2020

    Hello! Thank you for your reply!

    I haven't recieved my radiology report, and to be honest I wasn't even aware that I was entitled to one until your question. The only info I have is the information provided to me during the ultrasound which was that there are 2 large masses on the outer parts of my right breast, and that it wasn't cysts and it was not smooth. I failed to ask questions during that time because of the shock, but I did reach out to my PCP over the phone 3 days after the ultrasound results to Express some concerns about the symptoms I've been having, to ask questions about the ultrasound that was done and gain some clarity on what exactly the findings could mean. PCP was swamped that day so they had me talk to a different physician. She revealed to me the findings which was pretty much the same info the radiologist gave me. I should also mention that I've had an ultrasound and a biopsy done back in 2015 for a lump that I found in my right breast. At the time it wasn't so scary because the specialist didn't seem too concerned about it, explaining to me that it was small and mobile. Turned out to be a cyst and I never had much thought about it since. This recent ultrasound he said he couldn't see any cysts and that it was probably popped and drained during my last biopsy. I guess some of the fear is due to the fact that this recent ultrasound experience is completely different from my first. With words like "masses" "edges", the look of concern plastered on the radiologist's face - I've been comparing my experience from 2015 and this recent visit and convinced myself that it must be bad if it isn't the same. Telling myself "If this lump isn't mobile like the one back in 2015 then it must be bad, if they're using all these new words I haven't heard before then it must be bad". My fear and anxiety has calmed down a lot today though. I've spent some time this morning reading through the forum and it's helped me a lot.

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  • Cjt92
    Cjt92 Member Posts: 3
    edited November 2020

    Hey there πŸ‘‹

    I'm in a lot better place today (now 4 in the evening) than I was when I purged out my fears and concerns on this forum earlier this morning. Read through the forum and its helped me a lot. Did a movie day with my son and nieces, played some board games and I feel in like I'm in a better place emotionally. Thank you for your response πŸ’›


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  • Sunshine99
    Sunshine99 Member Posts: 1,680
    edited November 2020

    Hi, Cjt, I'm so sorry you're terrified. I think the unknown is worse than the known. I hope you find some comfort here. There is a quote posted here somewhere by Corrie Ten Boom: "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."

    I'm wishing you a peaceful day. Let us know when you hear something.

    BTW, something I do on these forums when I start a conversation or respond to one, is to "Add to My Favorite Topics". That way, when someone responds, you'll see it at the top of your log in page. You can also get email notifications, but I was getting too many of those, so I turned that off (haha).

    (((hugs)))

    Carol

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