What does the recovering patent need?

I said no to the garments that make a Kevlar dentist's vest look sexy. Found something that I thought would work bra-wise, and it did. The big one for me was attractive undergarments. I found a soft, sexy black cami at Nordstrom Rack that I could pin a surgical drain to. Made all the difference. I eventually gave them (I bought 2) to a friend who was about to have surgery. She got good use out of them. I recycled the bras for cycling when I didn't need them post-op anymore.

I had a pair of silk undies that saved the day. That said, it was a wonderful day when I could get into my La Perla bras again, and I haven't moved out since.

I was just fine post surgery. Got to the OR late, and got home around 10. Slept through the night. I had a friend staying with me and I made her coffee the next day. I got out and walked, scaring people to death because they expected me to still be in the hospital.

The other thing that most of us find reassuring is when we have a final diagnosis and start our treatment plan. Then we have a much better grasp of the journey ahead. Speaking of which, I want to strangle the next person who uses the expression "new normal". My take was "better than ever" and I got there.

Ten years later, it's another chapter layered into my life. I was much more worried about my general bloodwork recently than my oncology visit. My father died of diabetes complications and I don't want to go down that path. But of course, the tests came back just fine.

As for "partial removal", I look at this as being missing a couple of chunks of flesh. If I wear a bra with slight padding, you can't tell. And the last guy I dated certainly didn't mind. I am quite a bit older, and the harder conversation was bring up the age gap. He didn't mind that either.

There really are better days ahead for your friend. She will be thankful that you are there for her. And for goodness sake don't let her deprive herself of a tasty sweet in the name of "staying healthy". Because we all need an indulgence or 2.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. - Claire

Your friend is just starting to learn about a world she knows nothing about so voice your concerns but don't press for detailed answers. She doesn't know yet. Followup treatment will depend on what they find during surgery. Take her personality into account. My sister had BC 2 yrs after my 1st diagnosis and preferred to ask me questions (some of which I researched here) rather than get to much in the weeds about side effects and the like. During COVID, it isn't always easy to have a 2nd person hear what the BS or MO says but suggest she try. It is hard to digest everything going on. Vacuum for her if she can't lift for a while. She is lucky to have you there for her.

one of the very first things to understand is that breast cancer is probably not one disease, and definitely it has huge variations in treatment plans based on hormone receptor status of the tumor tissue. You'll see our signature lines say ER, PR, HER2 and a plus or minus. That stuff, plus size of the tumor, grade (how fast the cells are dividing with 1 being slow & 3 being fastest) plus if there are signs of spread to lymph nodes or anywhere else are essentially what drives treatment as well as the ultimate prognosis. So knowing one person's story, or even a hundred people's stories will not necessarily give you a picture of what she faces unless you're looking at well matched samples, kwim?

Mastectomy recovery is more intense that partial. She'll be more sore, more restrictions on lifting weights, will need to deal with surgical drains and more follow up appointments, plus decisions beforehand about whether to have reconstruction or not, and if so, what kind. Honestly, I'd just listen to her, and also remember to talk about stuff other than cancer if she wants that. Sometimes, we all need a break from it.

Oh Patty! What rotten luck. I do want to point out that a new primary is not the same as a recurrence. It's a new cancer. No, not fun, but an important distinction.

I feel honored to be remembered. I am just fine now. Though I did learn that it's harder for me to keep weight off post anti-hormonals. I am losing that one and need to get back on the program. Blech!!!

I didn't have any problems at all with a rear hook bra. I still wear them.

Praying for a swift recovery for you.

I am still sticking to the story that life can be glorious post treatment. I have had new career milestones and many new adventures. Right now, I need to find an appropriate romantic interest. CT is too far away, and my friend that I had beers with last night (outside in 43 degree temps!!!) is too young, though a great friend. London is also too far away, though it was fun to be chased around Kew Gardens last year. I lost one of my great friends last Christmas. Fortunately, got to see him just prior to Thanksgiving last year when in Phoenix for a conference.

Meanwhile I will be going back to help out my vintner friend at the winery next weekend. Wonderful exercise outside, and I have been learning a ton about the process of making amazing wine. Rooting for you. Hope that this round is over and done soon.

Take good care. - Claire