My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Mae~ that mask so fits your style that day. You match so well. I’m so thrilled to know you’re using them. I hope they are comfortable for you. I chose ultra soft elastic, I had two batches. One wasnt as soft as the second. I also love picnics So that’s awesome also. I’m sorry it wasn’t a nice bonus check. You would have deserved it. All those worked hours with those awful storm/hurricane. I guess companies will be what they will be.

Mae- you look good in the new mask! Micmel is so good to us! Work endings can be awful. It took me a long time to get past the bitterness and it makes working again so unattractive. Some times I think about a part time job for fun, but I can’t picture anything fun about how people treat others. The picnic bags looks promising!

Good scan and lab results this week so I’m planning to play in the garden and pick apples this weekend. The weather is too nice to stay indoors.

Sending you a hug Micmel. And hugs to those facing tests and treatment changes.

Nailed it on the head

Cat got your tongue

kicked the. Bucket

everything on a silver platter!

Hello Mara~ chilly here too. Sweatshirts for all!

Iwrite- Woohoo on the good scans and lab work!!!!!

It is fall weather here---sunny, blue sky, low humidity, 70 during day and 40's at night. Could have this year round. So glad summer temps are hopefully behind us. On to fall and winter!!!!

My Zoom D&D gaming here in a bit. Church service online in the morning. News says vaccine probably not available until 3rd quarter 2021. Wish I could go back to church sometime.

ear worm, cold feet

lwrite, glad to hear the great news.

Pie in the sky

Its been a week today since my baby boy Tag has left us. It was a long week without his bright chestnut coat and lovin. I’m still struggling. Like I just want him back. I miss him so very much. I wish I could have him back. I adore him. I still don’t think it’s sunk all the way into my brain. I keep expecting to see him. Like a little flash. Or a noise. I get his ashes back hopefully this week. I have the place picked out for him. Then he will be home again with his family Just not in body. Loving and Then loosing a pet sucks real bad. You’d keep them forever.

Hi Mel and everyone. I too hope you get Tag's remains soon as well.

It is a nice day here. I walked two hours in all. One hour of 5 mins segments in between housework and computer work and then decided to get even more burgers after my burger lunch. It is an hourlong walk but decided to do it by having a snack of onion rings and pepsi before the walk home. I still get quite tired out but made myself go.

Not doing anything else really, probably just sit around or fall asleep. Not going out with DB today. Probably will be tomorrow or after supper tonight I suppose. Either way is fine.

Have a good day all.

Evening all-- 6pm here.

So today I got a call from a friend. I touch base with him every couple of weeks or so. We usually just converse about light stuff, no heavy conversations. Today, he asked about my next MO appt (next Monday the 28th). I got more in depth about things. Explained change in doc and why (having to travel to appt now), change in med dosing (Ibrance now on 5 days/ off 2 days trial with me), next CT due, that I will be on some form of treatment for life and my need of a good rapport with my MO. I dumbed down the explanations--- didn't talk about CDK's, types of scans, etc. Put it in terms someone without cancer would understand. He was quiet. "Uh huh" was all he said. "uh huh". "ok". Then after a bit he said "well I have to go now".

I could not see his expressions since we were on the phone. I don't know what he was thinking---- maybe he thought I was being too pushy suggesting treatments with my new doc, questioning treatment plan with my old doc. But, I do think I made him uncomfortable talking so freely about my cancer and my future. When we hung up I thought "Suck it up, buttercup. I have to live with this everyday. The least you can do is hear about it."

I am tired of dealing with all this alone. I do not have family that will help me-- I have 2 sisters and a brother, but they do not go with me to appts or talk about the cancer with me. And my "friends" shy away from the cancer. I am tired of being "strong" and being alone. Makes me want to line them all up and slap them all.

Going to chill and watch a TV movie tonight.

Candy, I think some people are afraid of the idea of cancer, or serious illness. It doesn’t make it right, but I think some just can’t get past the fear to have conversations with people who are ill. I’m sorry you’re alone in this when your family and friends should be supporting you. Hugs from me too.

Candy, I am selective about my audience, even if other people open a conversation. With DB, I stick to the basics of how my scans and tests are going. My SIL is the one that I might discuss SE with if I am having them. Overall, I don't have too much to say about my cancer. I do have some people ask, most people don't. I don't overall feel the need to bring it up unless it fits in organically with the conversation. If I have anything I fear, I usually talk about it here. My phone friend also lets me talk about whatever I want but again, for me cancer does not really come up. As much as it is not fair, not everyone is willing or able to hear about the nitty gritty and it sucks for us. We must find our own outlets that do listen when we need them to.

I will say that I don't blame you for explaining some things to the friend since he did open up the conversation. I am sorry he could not follow through. It is not cool to start a conversation then stop a person from finishing it or being abrupt. I am sorry that happened to you.

I just post when I have scans that I am still NED in the body and brain and when the next scans will be on my facebook page. That allows anyone in real life to know how I am doing without having to deal with people who can't handle things. Most people have stopped saying I am brave because people who know me know I am realistic and will worry when something comes up like progression.