Feel Like Things are Moving In Slow Motion

For many this is the toughest time. It seems easier once you have a definite diagnosis and treatment plan in place, whatever that turns out to be. BCO is a great resource--you can dial down to your diagnosis, your treatment, when you start treatment, . . . . So many sympathetic women! The typical recommendation for this waiting time is to try to distract yourself--binge-watch a junky TV show, watch some funny movies, . . . . You'll get to the next phase eventually.

Hi, Jleath - I'm having a rough day, myself. I was in good shape Sunday, but shaky from the start today - and once the breast care center called (initial call from them) I felt the anxiety and mindfog of the other week come rolling back. Tomorrow I will make the appointment for a first visit to that clinic (hopefully the 22nd) and then I'm going to work really hard on focusing my attention elsewhere.

They are also working on getting the pathology, we are in the same boat there. I gave them the info for the place where I had my biopsy, so hopefully they will connect and get it resolved. So frustrating- but I'm sure probably not unusual with multiple docs, imaging centers, etc. I had a bit of a blowup after the call - screaming at the ceiling stuff. Thankfully after I hung up the phone, lol.

My gosh, full-time work and grad school. I did that in 2010-2013. It's a lot. I'm glad you have a supportive spouse.

One step at a time - but yeah, this one feels interminable.

I am in San Antonio as well. I am 45 and was diagnosed in July, had lumpectomy in August and will begin Chemo on Sep 29th. I am going to the MAYS CC for all of it. Not sure if that's where you're getting treatment but they seem good so far. The radiologist who did my first ultrasound also told me that it was most likely cancer even before they did the biopsy. I have been dealing with almost debilitating anxiety, neck pain and headaches since my biopsy. I am here to talk if you ever need someone. I know how difficult this is.

jleath. I too was dx 2 weeks before my wedding. Aug 3rd 2018. My Stats were exactly likes yours also . Er/pr 98% . I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world. I lost 10# in 5 days and was sure my life was over...it wasn’t! This is indeed the toughest time as your brain scrambles to make sense of this horrendous dx and the new normal you are thrust into. As you get more info you will start to breathe again. Being in active treatment will give you a sense of control and a steady direction . We are also on this journey with you so reach out when you have questions or just need to be heard. We have been where you are and can be a very soft place to land

Hi Jackie! Just want to say hi and add some support. We have very similar diagnoses-- I am 43yo, diagnosed in February of this year, also with IDC, ER/PR both at 100%, and HER2 negative (I know you're waiting on that still), but my tumor is much larger (10cm) and my lymph nodes are also cancerous, which makes me Stage 3. My oncologist recommended chemo first, then surgery, then radiation, all at the maximum levels possible because of my advanced stage. The good news is I just finished five months of chemo (AC-T) and it was tough but I totally made it through! And I have surgery (unilateral mastectomy + lymph node dissection) next week! Yes, my life is totally different now-- chemo slowed me down, cancer made me reevaluate my life and what's important, lost my hair, about to lose just one of my boobs-- but I am feeling great and optimistic! For the most part, IDC breast cancer is a very well-understood cancer with clear, heavily-researched treatment paths and lots of success stories. A pretty common, boring cancer. Not that there's ever a "good cancer" (all cancer sucks!), but hey, common and boring was kinda reassuring to me.

But I do remember the beginning when I was just diagnosed-- how time was a whole different thing. Everything moved slower than I ever thought possible, but also in the opposite way, huge gaps of time just disappeared and I didn't remember what I was doing... my brain was overwhelmed with anxiety, questions, forced distractions, ignoring/bottling up emotions while trying to do normal things like drive or work. It's a lot! As britspeech said (I love this, btw): "your brain scrambles" as you make sense of the "new normal." I hear you going through similar things and totally understand. It's cool that you already know some of your own best coping mechanisms, and it sounds like you know how to self-care, so you're already one up on me! I had to learn that shit for real, haha. For me, it also helped to give myself permission to *not* try to make myself the expert, to chill somewhat on the googling and trying to research the results, to write down my questions (before I forgot them) and trust my doctor team to answer them. Not saying that you shouldn't try to self-educate and be your own advocate, of course that's great, too. But it's also ok to not do everything. It's ok to not do it all! Just came here to say it out loud for you (and for me, and for all of us), even if we know this, it sometimes helps to be reminded! love, jess