Diagnosed at 35

Jalia
Jalia Member Posts: 6
edited August 2020 in Just Diagnosed

Hello all,

I am new here. Had my biopsy on Tuesday and got a call from my doc yesterday with the bad news. It is a poorly differentiated invasive ductal carcinoma in the right breast...per google, this is not good. I feel so numb right now. Radiologist called me today and explained more, says it's about the size of a tangerine. Radiation, chemo, and/or surgery may be needed. Also recommended MRI to see how much is there and confirm

I first felt it while breastfeeding my daughter in May. Since I have a family history of breast cancer, I made an appointment with my doc who referred me to have an ultrasound. I did not get a biopsy then, per their recommendation since I was breast feeding and we thought perhaps it was clogged milk.

Well 3 months later, it doubled in size...had another ultrasound...then biopsy..now this. I feel so heavy.

To make things worse, my Mother has also been diagnosed with breast cancer. This is the first time for her. It's all so unreal and I just feel kind of overwhelmed. Meeting with two surgeons next week to see where I am going from here. They say I did everything right, went right to the doctor, breastfed my daughter who turned a year old this month...and here I am, with breast cancer. At 35!

Don't know what else to say. I am just praying...but I feel so heavy. I hoped that this disease would pass over me and my Mom. My Grandmother had it, but I was just hoping that it would not continue to plague my family. Now here I am..

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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited August 2020

    Hi Jalia!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your news and that of your Mom. I also had "poorly differentiated" (Grade 3) cancer, and I found that it responded to chemo very well. (Chemo works best on quickly dividing cells.) Try not to Google too much. Google includes lots of dated information that can be scary.

    I think we all feel numb and overwhelmed by a cancer diagnosis. I remember reading a book to my sons about autumn and getting all teary-eyed because I wondered about how many more autumns I'd spend with them. It turns out that I've spent six more autumns with them and will have many more. I didn't realize then what I know now, and that is that breast cancer is very treatable and the survival rates are pretty high, even for someone like me, who was diagnosed at Stage III.

    It's going to take awhile to process the twin diagnoses of you and your Mom, so be sure to take that time. Don't think you have to be a super strong person if you don't feel like one. Don't be afraid to accept the help of others; most people want to do something, and if you can think of specific things for them to do, ask them.

    Be kind to yourself; you didn't do anything to deserve this. A lot of us did all the right things, and cancer got us anyways. ((Hugs))

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  • ajminn3
    ajminn3 Member Posts: 327
    edited August 2020

    Hi Jalia- getting that call from the doctor is the worst feeling. It’s over whelming to be sure and can do a number on you mentally, especially as a young mother! I was diagnosed last year at 34 when my youngest was 9 months old with no family history. It was such a roller coaster. I’ve now made it through a BMX with recon, chemo, and rads. Feel free to message me if you’d like. I always like connecting with other moms going through this to support and answer any questions I can. You’ll find a lot of info and support on these forums!

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  • Jalia
    Jalia Member Posts: 6
    edited August 2020

    I am crying at your responses.I feel so guilty and my husband is doing his best to comfort me. He is so wonderful! I feel like, I brought this disease into our house and after seeing family members deal with it...I know the toll it takes. I just feel so bad and looking at my daughter...I just want to cry. When I had her, it was like a dream to have this wonderful girl in my life and I want to be hear to continue to raise her. I am a stay at home Mom and I care for her, she is my job...so its like, how will we manage now?


    Thank you so much for the encouragement. I haven’t even shared the diagnosis with anyone else in my family. We plan on telling my husband’s parents this weekend, they will be great support.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2020

    Hi Jalia, and welcome to Breastcancer.org,

    We're so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and at such a young age, but we're really glad you've found us. As you can already see, our Community is full of awesome members always willing to offer advice, encouragement, information, and support -- we're all here for you!

    As you navigate the forums and introduce yourself on other topics, and ask questions along the way, please don't hesitate to reach out to us Mods with anything you may need.

    Sending hugs,

    --The Mods

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  • Jalia
    Jalia Member Posts: 6
    edited August 2020

    thank you


    I also was informed it is Triple Negative. I feel a bit hopeless reading the information about the type it is. Loke why me

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  • ajminn3
    ajminn3 Member Posts: 327
    edited August 2020

    Jalia, I can tell you that the period of diagnosis to getting a plan in place with my care team was absolutely the darkest time for me. Full of anxiety, crying, worrying, etc. The waiting period is so, so hard. It’s ok to cry and be upset. Know that you certainly did not bring this on your family and that children are incredibly resilient and honestly, I can’t believe how well my 3 boys (now 6, 4, 1.5) have adapted to my current “cancer life”. Also, Everyone told me to stay off google, but that’s easier said than done. There’s so much constantly changing in the breast cancer world. My aunt In law had triple negative 5 years ago, made it through surgery, chemo, and rads and is still cancer free. She says all the time how much has even changed in terms of treatment in those 5 years.

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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited August 2020

    Jalia,

    There's some threads for just for triple negatives:

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/72/topics/752075?page=1181

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/72/topics/873053?page=4

    It's often helpful to get information and advice from those who share similar diagnoses. I know I love my triple positive board.

    Again, don't spend too much time on Google looking at stuff about triple negative breast cancer. Many women successfully treat their triple negative breast cancer and live for years after diagnosis.

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