Confirmed cancer, waiting for complete pathology

charlotte - sorry you find yourself here - especially at such a young age, but this site is a great place for support, information, and encouragement. I am here in Tampa if I can help you in any way. Your hormonal receptor info is key in helping determine next steps. There are some receptor arrangements that indicate neoadjuvent chemo (generally triple negative and triple positive) so it is important to know before any decisions are made about surgery. The MRI is also important and will help your surgeon make a thoughtful recommendation about type of surgery for you. Once you know your receptor and Her2 status you might want to schedule an appointment with a medical oncologist as well. You might want to meet with more than one as the oncologist is usually the longer term relationship - I don’t know if most here locally are doing in-person consults or if it is by telemedicine. Have you given thought to what type of surgery you are interested in? One thing you can do in the meantime is read about the pros and cons of surgery type and/or reconstruction if that is something you are interested in. Do you have any specific questions I can answer?

dread - sorry you are also here in the same boat! Hang in there

It's my first post — I don't know exactly where to begin or if this it's in the right boardso I'll just start ... I am 51 and my cancer diagnosis date was 8/11/20. Invasive ductal carcinoma of the left beast. Lumpectomy on 7/29 was of a tumor deep at the chest wall, but a small tumor, and is a more uncomfortable healing process than I was prepared for. Also, two unresolved tumors (since January 2019) exist in the right breast that appear similar in construct as the left as best as I can decipher from the radiology reports. It has been difficult to find competent breast care in my region until fairly recently. Anyhow, I went back to work for the first time since Covid the next morning after the diagnosis and felt like my head was spinning in unreality. I'm a part-time teachers aid in a special ed classroom (no students yet, just the teachers and classified staff).

I am also preparing for my sons wedding that is just over two weeks away. He is new in law enforcement and the stress over the last few months has been hard on all of us. This close to the wedding the stress is fever pitch!

Also worth mentioning but difficult to write about is a complex mental health diagnosis I have that derives in large part from complex trauma: a domestic violence murder-suicide in 2016. I also was displaced from my 17 year career in educational administration in 2013. I underwent intensive outpatient mental health services and have been under psychiatric care since 2018.

With the latest incidents In CA of widespread fire - smoke, destruction, loss of life and property I feel as though all is unraveling in life - never be the same again. I haven't spent adequate time studying/understanding my cancer diagnosis and next steps. I want it all to be a terrible mistake. I think my family is largely ignoring it as well, which is bittersweet for me. I can't imagine things will get easier as cancer treatment progresses; and I fear an outcome in which I literally am simply not strong enough mentally (or physically?) to survive.

Nor_Cal_TKD, we are so sorry for all you are going through, but wanted to send you a warm welcome to our Community. We know how hard this whole breast cancer thing can be... but you'll find support, care and information among this wonderful group of people. Please come back often and let us know how you're doing. We are here for you anytime.

Many hugs!

The Mods

NorCal - your post scares me. You have been through a lot recently, and it sounds like you do not have a good support team in place. Do you have any extended family that can step in and help? Have you been assigned to a medical oncologist yet? What about a radiological oncologist? Your time line was also confusing, diagnosed 8/11 but had lumpectomy 7//29? And have tumors in rt side that were found in 2019? Did you do anything about them? Have they been biopsied?

Where in NorCal are you? Are you near a larger city like Sacramento, REdding, or San Francisco? Most Cancer centers have support groups, although how they are working now with COVID, idk, I haven't tried to join my local one yet.

You may need to double down on your mental health care to help you get through this difficult period. Make sure your psychiatrist is kept up to date with how you are feeling, and any feelings of helplessness or hopelessness need to be reported to them asap. Also let them know if you are not getting adequate sleep, that will be crucial to helping keep both mind and body as healthy as possible.

I understand the feeling of fear that this world is falling apart. However the world has seen worse and survived. We are quite resilient as a species.

Your family may be acting as though your diagnosis is nothing because they are having trouble facing their new reality of having a sick mother/wife. My son is reacting that way. Just have it cut out and you will be fine. Its not that bad. He knows better, but he simply cannot face considering what could be. Everyone reacts to bad news, especially illness, in different ways. Unfortunately we cannot guarantee they will reach in a manner that gives us the support we need.

Post here, people will answer and support you. Take care

Nor_Cal, I am still reeling from my IDC diagnosis 2 weeks ago. I also have underlying trauma, although probably not as severe as yours, that is adding to the difficulty coping. It may not feel like it, but the number one thing you can do for yourself and your family now is to get a full picture of your medical situation. It sounds to me like you need to get on the radar of health care professionals that can monitor you and give you instructions for next steps. As you receive more information, you can post it here and have members give advice and support. Do your psychiatric care providers know about your cancer diagnosis? If not, please tell them right away, and ask what resources/services they can offer.

Lots of people in this forum have told me that the time from diagnosis until beginning of treatment is the absolute worst. I'm still in the pits, often overcome with despair, but I'm clinging to that hope.

Sorry you had to join us but welcome. I'll repeat what everyone else has said,,,once you have all your information and a plan in place,,you get some control back. You will do it for your kids and for yourself. I was older and so were my kids, but still my kids. I worried about the unknown I won't lie, I cried and cried. You will get through this and one day you will sit down after getting those kids to bed and realize you have'nt thought once about having had breast cancer. It's nice to have those days back.

I think if you go back to your profile you can turn on e mail notification then you will know if someone responded. I’m all over this board, have that turned off. Set it for my favorites then your threads will come up.