Just diagnosed 7/31, waiting for staging. Terrified.

After a chest x-ray on 7/28 for something else entirely showed a mass of about 2.5cm in my left breast, I've now had a mammogram with ultrasound, a biopsy of the mass and a nearby lymph node, and a breast MRI. The biopsy showed invasive ductal carcinoma and cancer cells in the lymph node. When the care coordinator called yesterday to discuss the MRI results, she said there were "other areas of concern," including the sternum, spine, ribs, liver, nearby lymph nodes, and a distant lymph node. The care team meeting I was supposed to have tomorrow was changed to just the medical oncologist. I will have a bone scan on Thursday and a CT scan on Monday, August 10.

I'm terrified. I spent all night last night learning about stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I think the cancer is already in my liver and bones. Because here's the thing: I went in for the chest x-ray because of unexplained chest pain that my primary diagnosed over the phone as costochondritis. After six weeks the pain wasn't going away, so my primary, who works out of a clinic without x-ray capabilities, sent me to urgent care for the chest x-ray. The tech and PA at the urgent care facility both went white when they saw the mass on film. By the time I left that urgent care I already had a mammogram scheduled for the next morning. The chest pain has subsided somewhat, but now my lower right side aches -- where my liver is, right? -- and occasionally I get a twinge in my lower ribcage. My neck is so stiff I can't turn my head all the way to the right. I'm sure some of that is psychosomatic, but all of it?

I'm really scared. I'm 50 years old, I have been in excellent health my whole life, and now this. There is a history of breast cancer in my family so I suppose I shouldn't be shocked. I know people with stage IV metastatic breast cancer are living longer than ever and even though it's incurable, it's not unmanageable. And I don't even know for sure that it isn't stage III and they're just being overly cautious.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with stage IV about four years ago, and she is doing well. She runs 5k races regularly and did a triathlon a couple summers ago. So I know it's possible. But I'm so sad and anxious and depressed I can't deal with things. My thoughts keep spinning and spinning. My husband and daughter (age 21) are being as supportive and positive as possible, but we are all brittle and snappish with each other right now. And nobody's getting any sleep.

Was the "staging" part this awful for everyone? Will it get better once I have a treatment plan? I'm so angry and confused.