Waiting for biopsy results and scared out of my mind

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Charlotte417
Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
edited August 2020 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hi all, I'm new. Summary of my current situation:

July 27, 2020 - felt a lump in my left breast while taking a shower

July 28, 2020 - called OB/GYN, seen that afternoon, referred for unilateral mammogram and ultrasound

July 31, 2020 - mammogram and ultrasound conducted on left side, results unclear, recommended for biopsy

August 10, 2020 - biopsy performed, doctor's report from visit notes concern for malignancy, recommends excision regardless of biopsy result

And here I am now, waiting. I am 35, married, 3 young children. I am in good health otherwise and to my knowledge I have no history of breast cancer in my family. But I am still terrified. The concern on all of the doctors' and nurses' faces has made me feel like I'm dying and no one has the heart to tell me. My husband is very supportive and wants me to be positive and optimistic (which I know I should be) but I am very scared. I am not scared of a fight, I am scared of a death sentence. So here I am, looking for somewhere to share my fear with others who understand what this moment is like.

I am glad that a community like this exists but I am sad that we are all here. Prayers for all.

Charlotte

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited August 2020

    Do you have the reports from the mammogram and ultrasound? That would be helpful for us to be able to tell you more. I’m sure they say a lot more than “results unclear.”

    As to “concern for malignancy” - that doesn’t mean much. They wouldn’t be doing a biopsy if there wasn’t, but that level of concern can be as low as thinking you might have a 4% chance of having cancer. Anything over a 3% estimate is recommended for biopsy, therefore, most biopsies are benign, so don’t be going worst case. Usually if they truly believe you have cancer they would have already told you that and it doesn’t seem to be the case

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    "Clinically palpable mass at 12 o'clock position 4 cm from the nipple at 17 mm x 13 mm lobulated hypoechoic mass. There is distal shadowing. This corresponds to a irregularly marginated focal asymmetry seen on digital mammography in that region. In addition the digital mammography showed suspicious microcalcifications associated with this lesion. Ultrasound guided core biopsy is recommended. BIRADS 4"

    The "results unclear" was basically how it was explained to me. There was a lot of "we can't tell what it looks like" and "we're not sure which way this is going to go" type of phrases thrown at me.

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    The doctor that did the biopsy said he doesn't like the way my scan looks and he wants to get it out soon. He kept saying I don't like this, it needs to come right away. I left the biopsy appointment with orders for an MRI, a mammogram on the right side, and preop bloodwork.

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  • LiveLoveLaugh2020
    LiveLoveLaugh2020 Member Posts: 322
    edited August 2020

    Charlotte so sorry you find yourself here. It’s so hard not to worry and be scared. Try to keep busy (much easier said than done). Praying for benign results.

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited August 2020

    Charlotte, fingers crossed for you that it is benign. When do you get the results for the needle biopsy

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Thank you. I do well staying busy during the day but evenings are hard. I tend to be a private person so I haven't told anyone except my husband. He does his best to keep my mind off of things but he is a first responder with a shift schedule and isn't home every night. So here I am. Looking for...I don't know what. To not feel so alone I guess.

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Thanks MelissaDallas. I don't know exactly when I'll get the results unfortunately. I asked at the appointment and the doctor said "soon" so whatever that means. I'm hoping by the end of the week but I'm scared that means they'll call me while I'm at work and tell me on the phone alone. I've been to every appointment alone so far because of COVID-19 and it's very hard to try to take it all in.

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  • LiveLoveLaugh2020
    LiveLoveLaugh2020 Member Posts: 322
    edited August 2020

    I know what you mean. I’m a private person myself and my mind wanders at night when I’m stressed/going through something! And it’s hard to shut it off. You can PM me if you want to talk.

    Again, hope all is benign!

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Thank you, LLL2020. I'd love to hear your story.

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited August 2020

    If it is any consolation I thought my excisional biopsy was easier than my stereotactic one

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited August 2020

    I got called at work on my first cancer biopsy result. I managed to finish typing some correspondence to a client, but then I had to pace the halls for a few minutes. I hope you get benign results, but once you have more details and a plan of action, it gets a lot easier. Those evenings when your husband's not home - I watch a funny movie. It's almost impossible to laugh and worry at the same time.

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Thanks AliceBastable. If I do get the call at work I'm hopeful it is at a point in the day where I can just excuse myself and leave. I've been trying to find good things to binge watch at night, open to suggestions if you have some! Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer.

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  • LB13
    LB13 Member Posts: 49
    edited August 2020

    Hang in there @Charlotte 417. I found the waiting to be the worst part - and my mind went wild - especially at night. I am 7 months out from my diagnosis. Everything you are feeling is normal. Just try your best to take one hour at a time and breathe deeply - there are so many factors to a diagnosis of breast cancer, which you may not even have. Don't get ahead of yourself - think, but breathe and pray. This support board is wonderful and we are all here for you.

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited August 2020

    Slow down, breathe, stay away from Dr google. Even if the biopsy is positive it’s NOT an automatic death sentence.

    You can do it!! You are stronger than you think💪🏻💪🏻

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    I haven't gone on Google too much, but just the knowledge of the experiences of some friends of mine has me very shaken. I feel like I need guidance from those who have gone through this with positive outcomes because my personal experiences are not encouraging.

    Finished my meetings in the office this morning and now I'm working from home this afternoon. I feel like my head is in a fog waiting. People keep asking me things and trying set meetings for weeks from now and I can't think past the next 5 minutes honestly.

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  • Beaverntx
    Beaverntx Member Posts: 3,183
    edited August 2020

    Charlotte, in your pocket as you wait. Waiting for definitive information is the worst! ((hugs))

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  • ctmbsikia
    ctmbsikia Member Posts: 1,095
    edited August 2020

    Another one pulling for a good result and if not, we'll be here for you. I'm sorry you're here and you are so young!

    I also felt my lump in the shower, also left breast, at about 11;00 position. I got the call towards the end of the work day. My boss was already gone so I shut down and went home. When I felt it, I was pretty sure that it shouldn't be there and was almost expecting to hear those words, plus my sister was 1st in the family to also be diagnosed.


    Do let us know how you make out! Try and distract yourself with something fun---if there is such a thing in this world thanks to covid-19!

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Thank you all for the kind posts. No call today so on to another torturous day tomorrow I guess. I'll be back in the office in the morning but home in the afternoon so we'll see. I just need answers so we can get a plan going and take some action. Hearing from you ladies is very encouraging, thank you.

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  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 767
    edited August 2020

    Waiting is agony. If you don't hear anything tomorrow morning don't be afraid to take control and call and ask if they have your results. If you had it done Monday- those results should be back, but like you never know, if your doc is out of town and the results are no cancer there is not necessarily a sense of urgency on the practices part to call you.

    I had a biopsy on a Thursday at 1pm and I got the call at work Monday Morning. My OB/GYN asked where I was and if I was sitting down- so well we all know how that went...

    I hope you get results ASAP and that they are benign!

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Hi all,

    I got the call just a little bit ago. It is confirmed cancer, invasive ductal carcinoma grade 3. They're waiting on more pathology results for hormone receptors, etc. Today is day 1.

    Here we go.

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  • MaryScout
    MaryScout Member Posts: 38
    edited August 2020

    Hi Charlotte,

    I am surrounding you with love and strength. You must be in shock, but please know that you are going to be strong and that in the future this will be in your rear view mirror and you will be the source of strength for so many others. You got this, Charlotte. <3<3

    Mary

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited August 2020

    Hi, Charlotte. What crapalactic news! Sorry you're in the club, but just know there are a boatload of us who have been through this, and it can be done. One day at a time. Right now you're scared, anxious for the future, and don't know where to turn, but pretty soon you'll have a plan in place and you can forge ahead. Get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, you'll be on the other side of this great big speed bump. There will be good days ahead, I promise.

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  • 2019whatayear
    2019whatayear Member Posts: 767
    edited August 2020

    I'm glad you didn't have to be in limbo all weekend. I'm sorry that the results said cancer. There is loads of reasons for hope. It's not likely a death sentence. Big hugs Big Big hugs!

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  • Charlotte417
    Charlotte417 Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2020

    Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I'm doing ok so far, I feel basically as freaked out as I did before, no more no less. I think I knew from the start that it was going to go this way, the way the doctors and nurses were talking I didn't sense much optimism for a benign outcome. No I just want to know how advanced this thing is and of course I'm praying that it hasn't spread. I'm going to go over to the newly diagnosed forum now I guess. Come chat with me over there!

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