Had my surgery.

I was able to get a right breast simple mastectomy. 5/20/20 It seems to have gone really well. The drain was a bit of a pita, but not b/c it drained alot- just sore at the site. I felt so much better when that came out. I had internal stitches and staples. I was afraid a little to get the drain and staples out. It was really good.No problems. I'm a little stiff at day 14. However I am able to do most things I need to. ( I'm not really lifting anything except my 8 lb dog)

My pathology report came back. I have DCIS but due to the whole breast report now also know I had IDC 6mm. I was sooooo hoping for just the DCIS and that the mastectomy would have taken care of that. They want me on Tamoxifen- I have not taken it yet, although I had the script filled. My Dr. was a stickler about taking the 20mg. I found an Italian study done recently that said 5 mg for 3 years was just as effective. Now they're referring me to an oncologist. I am still self pay and with no insurance. They swear up and down that with a cancer diagnosis I should qualify for emergency Medicaid. Not so sure about that as Medicaid denied me. They told me that's not one of their qualifications. I'm still angry about the yah-yah rah-rah go get your ta-tas checked and early treatment saves lives. WHERE IS THE HELP??!! My family was able to help with the surgery. But we aren't a rich family. I wasn't expecting any help from them honestly. I am very humbled by it and I will still have bills from it.

I had 5 weeks off of work from the covid. Went back for 2 weeks and am now off for 4/5 more weeks. So that's all income lost. I filed for unemployment due to the covid- denied. Then due to the surgery missed the 20 day to appeal window. I couldn't have anyone back with me in the surgery waiting area- due to covid. What a freaking mess. I brought pictures of my 3 dogs.

Now I'm scared b/c of the IDC. I was ready to go back to work in a few weeks and get on with life. It looks like I'll have to try to tamoxifen, and most likely lose sleep and become a nutcase due to lack of sleep. I'm afraid I won't be safe while out driving and I have a job that uses sharp utensils. I'm also scared b/c some people say it causes rage. So I posted about my fears of that on here and it's like some people just read it as - OH. sorry you're having tamoxifen rage. They're not even reading correctly ffs.

I'm also afraid they're going to suggest chemo and or radiation.

My husband has been great so far, but he got a little mad at the IDC report and now a follow up with the oncologist saying all they want is more $$$.

I just want to be able to work and pay my bills and I'm afraid I won't be able to support my 3 dogs. I cry all the damn time now.

I watch alot of Youtube videos and sometimes you see people and then they just disappear. I'm like- did they die? omg. I have seen some of them with the same dx as me and they have had metastasis. It's horrifying.

I'm still trying to keep my chin up and keep a sense of humor. It's really hard.

Thanks for any replies.