Would inability to wear a bra rule out diep for me?

If you have DIEP, you may very well end up with smaller breasts due to insufficient tissue at the donor site to restore you to your original size, or per your request.

I've always been very sensitive to bras but found the surgical bras to be tolerable, even comfortable. I particularly like the Masthead Elizabeth pink surgical bra. It's probably the most comfortable bra that I have worn. The only downside is the velcro in the front eventually wears out and begins to fail.

Some women are required to wear binders for a period of time; but wasn't, I suspect because I chose to go small (b-cup), but still had to wear a bra for several weeks. I have sensory issues and usually bras drive me crazy but the hospital brought me a mastectomy bra and it wasn't too bad. I had minimal to no pain in either my breast or tummy. The biggest challenge with DIEP seems to be wound dishesence, or the wound opening up. My tummy was fine but it had a small spot on my breast that I've es and had to be packed for several weeks to heal (I also had an anti-biotic resistant superbug that landed me back in the hospital twice). I hope you have time to pop over to the DIEP threads to learn more about the surgery (it's a specialty that not many PS can do) and recovery (not painful, just long).

Good luck.