Feel like a burden

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e32
e32 Member Posts: 55
edited May 2020 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hey ladies, what do you do to combat feelings of being a burden on others? I feel guilty bc a lot of my life revolves around cancer right now and I am feeling like a burden to my husband, family, and friends. They have their own things going on, plus we are in a pandemic for goodness sake! So I feel it is unfair to them to be constantly having to to to doc appts, hear about my stupid cancer, etc. I feel really alone bc I am trying so hard to move past cancer but the aftermath is following me around.

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  • berries
    berries Member Posts: 277
    edited May 2020

    I often feel the same and struggle with guilt so so deeply. I say things like, my husband deserves a healthy wife or he deserves a wife that is able to be pregnant right now. What I've learned though (in many months of therapy) is that if roles were reversed and your family or husband was going through something like this, would you want them to feel bad? Would you feel like they were a burden to you? Absolutely not. You would want to be there for them and sit next to them during appointments.

    I still struggle with feeling guilt, but this helps me when I can't get out of my head about it. Hope this helps you, too, and know you are NOT a burden. You are loved. x

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  • WC3
    WC3 Member Posts: 1,540
    edited June 2020

    e99:

    Burdens are a part of life but there are avoidable burdens and unavoidable burdens and allowing others who care about you to help you shoulder unavoidable burdens often brings people closer together. I think breast cancer, when it happens, is an unavoidable burden. You did not bring this on yourself and you are deserving of the support of your family during this time, as I imagine you would be supportive of one of them should they be in a similar situation.




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  • e32
    e32 Member Posts: 55
    edited June 2020

    I would never want them to feel burdened. But I think I am becoming a burden simply because it is just another stressor in an already incredibly stressful time. So I basically decided I would rather just take care of myself and find others to talk to who have been there instead of adding to my support system's stress levels constantly

    That is why I joined here. Maybe talking to people who have been there would help some


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