People trying to help is going to drive me nuts. Can you relate?

Options
2»

Comments

  • mitziandbubba
    mitziandbubba Member Posts: 177
    edited November 2019

    Everyone wanted to help but what they offered was not what I needed - to make meals. I'm gluten intolerant and it's really hard to cook for a GF person if you don't really understand what is involved - and my husband can't have soy which is even harder. I am always so scared to eat at people's homes b/c that is the bulk of how I have gotten sick. People didn't seem to like that I turned them down but we'd have a freezer full of stuff we would not be able to eat.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • scar1888
    scar1888 Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2020

    Hope Wins,

    Gosh, I'm 20 years out and just a changed person. I don't want to get together with old college friends because

    one of them is someone I simply had to 'leave behind.' Just not happy in the friendship. She

    s a good person but so so overly controlling; I don't miss it or her but wish her well. It's so kind of a few to

    write to me on face book and want to get together. I just don't. Does anyone hear what I'm saying. It's not as if

    I've missed any of them at all and yes, sounds mean but have to follow my heart and my guts.

    Thanks for any feedback.

    Feeling guilty but know I don't want to go down that road again.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited May 2020

    The "thanks, but no thanks" approach is fine. Follow your heart.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • scar1888
    scar1888 Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2020

    Dixie02,

    I can tell you that I had to have my phone number changed. When you get call after call after call and people ask the same questions over and over and over it can be SO overwhelming. I went through this in '97-98 and was stage 3 as well. I had family members get upset with me because I wasn't answering all calls?

    I feel for you and so so so relate! Share how much you appreciate the help but you are overwhelmed with so so many kind gestures. Tell them you will get back to them with what you need but to HOLD OFF until they hear from you. Period. Make that boundary and do not feel guilty. You have to guard your wellbeing and health.

    Truly, now is the time you need to do what's best for you.

    Write back!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • scar1888
    scar1888 Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2020

    Hi Dixie,

    Just a note to see how you're doing. I too, am a totally independent person. How did you handle all of the gestures? I always wrote a nice thank you note/ lay on their desk/ mail to residence. but let them know you are fine for now.


    Let me know how you are doing if you like.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories