Feeling Alone

e32 · April 2020

I feel like I am alone dealing with this. The pandemic started just after I was done healing from my mastectomy. I had some support before but now everyone is so stressed I feel I have no one to talk to about this anymore, so I try not to bring it up. I think it is kind of an "oh you're healed now and cancer is out so let's move on" attitude. I still have a lot of things coming my way with this and I hate to burden people by seeking support.

BostonGal · April 2020

Emma,

You are not alone! This is the toughest battle and people will listen and help!

I asked for help (emotional) from my chemo nurse and she connected me with the cancer social work team. I found my first session with them very helpful.

Will you be having chemo/radiation? You might want to check out a group here where people are going through the same at the same time as you! Tremendously helpful to have company!

Allie

ceanna · April 2020

emmaj, you are not alone and the first step away from that is posting here. We are here and feel free to post your questions and comments. Having the COVID crisis hit at the same time as your BC is unfortunate. Everyone is dealing with their own issues during the crisis so they may not recognize you still have support needs. Remote support is not the same as the hugs we all miss during this time, but do connect with us here. Another way might be to stay connected with a nurse navigator in your BC center. If you didn't have one, see if you medical care facility has some sort of support group appropriate for you--many are meeting remotely during the stay home orders. Hope to see you here! All the best. Ceanna

Spookiesmom · April 2020

That’s a pretty common attitude among “friends “. They think you’re done with cancer, look good, time to move on. Now is when you really find out who your friends are. Right now it’s tough to find person to person support, this is a great place for it. Nothing is to dumb to ask, or post. Fire away!! Somebody here has been there, done that. In the mean time, sit out side if your weather permits, walk your pet, cats can learn, or get one!

e32 · April 2020

Thanks ladies! I also have a young family so much of my time is spent just trying to take care of my kids (including a very active toddler). I had just finished initial healing when this craziness began. I agree most people are preoccupied and stressed about Covid, as am I. But I think some of the shock from diagnosis is just now beginning to wear off so I can really sit here now and ask myself what just happened. I am certainly not expecting people to be spending a lot of time supporting me now, I think we're all just trying to survive, so I get that. But I think it is just a general vibe I get that says ok, you are done with that chapter life is normal again!

prepmom · April 2020

Emmaj99- I think you said it perfectly in your last post and I can totally relate. After the initial shock of diagnosis, I think my body and mind just amped up and said 'I got this' and I told everyone that. I didn't want anyone to worry too much about me. However, once my surgeries were behind me, all of the emotions caught up. I just couldn't get out of my own head and I didn't want to burden anyone. I experienced tremendous anxiety. I decided to see a therapist and started taking an anti-depressant. I was always the type of person who people described as 'so strong', so this was way out of my comfort zone. But you know what? It really helped. It didn't make it all disappear, but now I don't dwell on it as much anymore. I have a few friends that have been through this too & I find a huge comfort in them. I don't really talk much about it with other friends anymore - I think it's so hard to contemplate unless you've been there. I know that I really never understood. And keep coming to these boards for as long as you need to - I have found the sisterhood to be very healing. You are not alone.

LiveLoveLaugh2020 · May 2020

This can all feel so isolating and make you feel so alone. I can't even imagine going through this during a scary pandemic like we are experiencing now. Family and friends are wonderful but no one truly knows how you feel unless they've been in your shoes. Which is why this site is great. I wish I had found it sooner. Right after diagnosis and especially after BIL NSM I went through a rough patch. Many sad days of pain and feeling so alone. But ladies things get better as time goes on! Reach out if you need it, and take it day by day. As the days go on things will get a little easier. I wish you all the best and I'm here if anyone would like to chat!

e32 · May 2020

Thank you! I can tell it has already changed me so much. And I think it was a lot different before surgery because it all happened in a whirlwind! No time to think really. Now with being home there is time to think. I think I can see what you mean about friends not getting it. They'll try to compare it to so and so's something surgery. But cancer is just a whole nother thing! I think it is impossible to "get" unless you've been there. I have lost a parent, had other traumas in my life, but this is different! Thank you so much for listening. I really needes that!

nopink2019 · May 2020

emma, sometimes it feels right to say "I'm fine", but sometimes it feels better to bluntly tell friends what is really going on and what treatment or tests are like. You'll experience both at different times. Just go with it. Your kids don't care if you look tired, serve cereal for dinner or tell them you just want to sit and watch them color, as long as you love and care for them. Let them distract you but Get rest too, even if that means they watch a video. I don't know anyone with a similar diagnosis so reading some of these threads has helped me feel like someone understands my ups & downs. Hope you find the same thing.

e32 · May 2020

Thank you!!

toria1212 · June 2020

When I was diagnosed on 3/19, COVID19 was ramping up here in Michigan. It was a HUGE distraction and I was 1000% positive and hopeful about my recovery and healing. Now four weeks after surgery and just beginning radiation yesterday, I am a complete mess. As I try to maintain daily life with three kids(one's an adult with special needs) at home, watching the mailbox for the impending medical debt, and investigating holistic alternatives, I feel overwhelmed. I cry soooo much, almost always alone.

We have a very silly and happy family. I have two more adult kids. We are all super close. I am divorced and date someone for 5 years now. My family is wonderful, but they are my children, and it's MY job to protect them from my struggles with this, to appear brave and strong(as I always have been).

But I feel alone. And see no 'end' in sight. I am grateful for the vast amount of information shared here, and the loving support. I hope it gets better for all of us...

ceanna · June 2020

toria, I'll say the same thing I said a couple of months ago to someone else dealing with BC issues in this time of COVID. You are not alone. We are here for you. Having the COVID crisis hit at the same time as your BC is unfortunate timing and having two major issues like that could pull anyone down. You have special family circumstances, but they are there for you, and as they are adults, you can be their protector but you can also ask them to help you with simple things and keep them informed on what your needs are. I think they would feel it a privilege if you asked them. It might ease their worries and they can feel helpful. You said you are just beginning radiation so you might want to stay connected with a nurse navigator in your BC center as you face financial and health questions. If you didn't have one, see if you medical care facility has some sort of support group appropriate for you--many are meeting remotely during the stay home orders. Stay in touch here! All the best. Ceanna

Feeling Alone

Comments

Categories