Blessed and good appointment yesterday!

I met with my BS yesterday-she is AMAZING. 27 years experience, head of breast center at an adjunct hospital. She spent 90 minutes with me going over every detail of my diagnosis. First thing: NO MRI....the night before at 2am, I was awake and alone and bawling and lost in this process of fear and anxiety. More than anything, I fear the poking and the prodding. And she squelched my fears in the first five. The office was super quiet as I was alone. She first did a manual breast exam then allowed me to dress before we began our conversation.

She confirmed my diagnosis and added Stage 1A, which I did not know yet. She said area is 4mm, just so small that she fully recommends a lumpectomy. She went over every detail and told me that instead of the regular group meeting with her, Medical Oncologist and Pathology Oncologist, (due to the virus), each will meet with me separately. Surgery is scheduled for May 11, and she explained that in detail as well.

She said unless pathology post surgery indicates something else, she is thinking radiation, maybe even the accelerated one week treatment, then five years of hormone suppressor. Her kindness and knowledge grounded me and helped me to BREATHE. Her reassurance and years of expertise helped me to believe in her. I truly felt blessed to have her placed in my path as my Dr. She showed me real life pics of lumpectomy recovery as well as a masectomy, and a masectomy with implants.

The truth is that the knowing AND the plan in place helps sooo much to let you breath a little, and to now feel like someone is "in it" with you, your Drs., AND their expertise and wisdom. I had a list of about 20 questions which she intermittently answered throughout our conversation.

I felt so grateful and my fiance and children were/are so thankful that this appears to be caught very early on. After my research the night before, I asked her pointed questions about side effects and that THOSE scared me quite a bit. Her response what that if a medication is not working, then we will find one that does. She said to me, "I will be with you for the next five years." We also discussed our teen children and the effects of them being home from school extended. So, two mothers connecting, talking about kids and fitness, and she happens to be my breast cancer surgeon.

I was told that I would hear from the Nurse Navigator next to schedule the other appointments and provide any other information. The kindness of the office(I only saw women when I was there) was sooo comforting and reassuring to me...

I took yesterday "off" from looking at all things BC. I was given a great tote and all of my records were copied and so I need to organize those and my notes. I began a google.docs journal of sorts from Day 1 of my diagnosis. I've already received two medical bills, but I am going to focus on my path to wellness and try and not fester over the negatives, which I cannot control.

I treated myself to this AMAZING Indiana chocolate drizzled popcorn and a 'free' evening with my kids. Being cooped up at home has benefits-cleaning and organizing, spending time with my great kids, but I can go down the path very easily to fear and uncertainty. Michigan is a grey state, but the sun is blazing right now, so taking advantage of clean windows and a spring(ish) view of the beautiful outdoors.

I pray you all have a blessed day and appreciate the wealth of information and support I have already received here, less than one week into my journey.