Diagnosed--in "lab rat" phase

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AuthorSpot
AuthorSpot Member Posts: 21
edited March 2020 in Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results

Hi all! I found a mass in my left breast on February 21st. I was seen by my OBGYN the next week, had a mammogram, ultrasound, and core needle biopsies of both the tumor and the auxiliary lymph nodes. I was diagnosed on the following Monday, saw the Surgeon, who felt I would need chemo first. Saw my oncologist the next day who agreed. The tumor is IDC, grade 3, with lymph node involvement under my arm (and possibly supraclavicularly as well). It's triple negative. I've had blood work for gene testing and tumor markers. I had a bone scan and CTs yesterday. I have a PET scan, brain MRI, and Echo cardiogram next Thursday and breast MRIs on Friday. The waiting for results is awful. I'm having a port put in on Tuesday and have a follow up appointment with my oncologist on the 17th. I assume I'll start chemo shortly thereafter. And to top it off, I already have lymph-edema in my left arm. It's fat and aches all the time. So does my breast since the biopsy. Hopefully, I'll see the LE physical therapist next week as well.

I'm just still trying to believe this is all happening to me. You know that person who takes care of everything for everyone else in every family? That person is me. Asking for help is hard, regardless of how many offers I get. And letting go of control is one of my huge anxiety triggers. My husband had a horrible accident last year and they had to life flight him to a hospital two hours away. They weren't sure he'd survive. Then they weren't sure he'd walk again. He's back to work full time eleven months after. I never lost hope through it all. But I juggled everything to keep us going. Who's going to juggle things if I can't? And before you say him...don't. The man is a walking disaster. I love him to pieces, but he's not going to be able to juggle. Just imagine a juggler with broken plates all around his feet. Lol. How do you guys manage??

Sorry for rambling. Just got the news about triple negative this morning and it's thrown me a bit.


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  • buttonsmachine
    buttonsmachine Member Posts: 930
    edited March 2020

    authorspot, I just wanted to say "welcome," although I'm sorry you're in this situation. I hope you get some answers soon. These boards are a valuable resource both during and after treatment. Best wishes and please keep us posted on how you're doing. 💕

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  • prayingHard
    prayingHard Member Posts: 15
    edited March 2020

    You said my feelings so well....

    I have good support system, inlaws living with me and have a teenage boy. Inlaws try their best but added thing is that they are 85, and my husband and I both take care of them. Of course our son helps but driving around and all is just two of us. Now my husband has to take care of 3 people with me in test result waiting phase... and in spite genuine efforts, he just cannot...

    I feel helpless to the same way



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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2020

    Author spot, you are in the horrible phase right now...I remember it so well. Eventually we learn how to navigate it, and eventually it's behind us, but all of us were a walking mess at the time you are in right now; all I can say is please know we all did it and you can, and will, too.

    You might want to see if your cancer center or hospital has a nurse navigator for you; they can be a wealth of information (not just health-related) for finding support systems to help you through this time so you don't feel like you have to do it alone. Having to navigate around elderly in-laws would be hard! But if they are fairly active and in good health for their ages, find things they can do and ask them to do them. Or make up lists and regular tasks that they can check and do while you are settling into this new (but temporary-remember that) existence. If you don't want to implode, you have to ask for a little help, but you can ask for it in an organized way so that you can still make sure things get done.

    Hugs,

    Claire in AZ

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  • AuthorSpot
    AuthorSpot Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2020

    Thank you, ladies for your replies. PrayingHard, my heart goes out to you. Thankfully, no one else lives with us yet. My folks are in their 70s and live about two hours away. But I did do a lot of checking on them, as my sister lives five hours away. I have an uncle in Phoenix who had a stroke in November and I’m his POA, so I’ve been out there twice and do all of his medical coordinating. But, we should be able to get him moved to the Veterans home close by and my father and sister can help. I also have an adult son with nonverbal autism. He lives an hour away in a group home. His sister will help out with some of his things when I can’t, but she lives in Washington state. And our youngest son is in New Mexico.

    I’m doing better. I got my port placed yesterday and it’s a bit ouchie today. I have scans tomorrow and Friday. And Tuesday we will know exactly what we are dealing with and what the plan is. My sister is coming down the following week, which will probably be the start of my chemo. I’m still a tad worried about letting others handle things, but it will work out. And I do have a care coordinator. She’s been wonderful. I’m setting up an appointment with the psychologist on the team as well. I find therapy to be very helpful when I’m feeling out of control. So might as well get ahead of it!

    I’m so thankful for this community as well.

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  • toria1212
    toria1212 Member Posts: 136
    edited March 2020

    Hi AuthorSpot,

    I am a few weeks behind you, and already I am sooo thankful to have found this forum on the day of my diagnosis! You are a step or two ahead of me and I see my BS tomorrow morning for first consult. With the COVID19 "stuff" going, I am thankful I am able to see a doctor so quickly and hope, like you, to get on my path to wellness. I hope your port discomfort settles soon and that you can connect with a therapist. It will be a good thing, and a strong support to have someone to share the swirling thoughts and feelings with. My 31 year old daughter is a therapist, and my 24 year old son has had significant issues, so I am blessed to have been "therapized" quite a bit myself, AND to have adult kids who are strong supports for me.

    You and the others here are amazing, and I am inspired by every one of you. :)

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