43 years old - IDC 3cm new to forum

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Bon43
Bon43 Member Posts: 20
edited May 2020 in Just Diagnosed

Hi everyone

I’m feeling very surreal about this whole thing. I went for a mammogram for no other reason except my sister was bugging me to go when I was 40 and thought. I should make that appt and actually go! I made an appt when I was 40 and skipped it. I don’t know why, thinking back.
they called me back for another and when I answered I said “oh I was already there” she said yes they need you to go for more images! What!?!? Me???? Ok?

I went back, had another mammogram and immediately went to the ultrasound room. They scheduled a biopsy the following Monday and it came back a week later with the diagnosis of IDC but that was it. I still don’t have the receptor test back. They did scans and found tiny nodules on the liver lungs and kidneys. I’m not sure what that means but they said just another CT in 6 months. I feel they should know if it’s cancer or not but I guess they do not.

My lymph nodes are swollen and not sure if cancer there either. I feel like this is all going too slow but am told this is the process!

Bone scan came back great so I guess that was some good news in all of this. Feeling helpless right now waiting waiting waiting. No plan!

I was supposed to get married August 1st I have two teenage boys and I just feel a bit lost and have zero control over any of this

Thanks for reading!

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  • L8Blmr
    L8Blmr Member Posts: 133
    edited March 2020

    Bon43, I am sorry you had to join this website, but know that it is a great place for information and support.

    Now onto you - I think many on this board will tell you the waiting period is the worst part of this whole process. So please hang in there. Once you have a plan mapped out with your onco team that will alleviate some of the helpless feeling and lack of control. But that doesn't mean you can't prepare yourself with questions for your next appointment or phone call from your nurse navigator. BreastCancer.org is a very good site to get information regarding diagnosis, treatment protocol, etc. NCCN is another good site. Dr. Google is not the best place for information.

    Try to stay busy and not dwell in the speculation world or make mountains out of mole hills. Prepare yourself for surgery as best you can in case that is what you need. Let your teenage boys know you need them to step up right now, it's a great opportunity for them. Because you need to be taking care of YOU for a while. You will get through it. Big hugs!!


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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2020

    Welcome, Bon43. We're so sorry you find yourself here, but we're glad you've joined our community and hope it can be a supportive place for you! The first days and weeks can be a lot to process, but we're all here for you.

    The Mods

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  • Bon43
    Bon43 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2020

    Thanks so much for the reply. Google has been my “Go to”and it’s been awful. I’m stopping now and will look on this site and NCCN

    Thanks again. I haven’t been in contact with anyone that is going through (or has gone through) this and I feel like no one really understands so I think the forum is fabulous (even though I’m normally a quiet person).

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  • Spoonie77
    Spoonie77 Member Posts: 925
    edited March 2020

    Hi Bon43. I'm sorry you're here but I'm glad you found this community. It kept me sane when I was first dxd at 41. Truly the first months and the waitng are the worst! It seems impossible that what follows could be worse but IMO the unknowns and fear are monstrous. Once there is information and a plan it seems more manageable, if cancer can ever be said to be manageable.

    Hang in there. You are not alone. Read here, read people's stories and experiences. Keep posting. One day at a time....one hour at a time....that's all any of us can do. <3

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  • Britspeech
    Britspeech Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2020

    Hi Bon43

    It is very surreal and terrifying initially.I lost 10# the first week after dx . Once I had the results of tests and my treatment plan I began to calm. You do begin bit by bit to accept it and start to weave it into your” new normal”

    I was dx 2 weeks before my wedding in August 2018 . We still went ahead with it and had a great time, Don’t let this stop you living your life to the fullest!

    Sharon

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  • toria1212
    toria1212 Member Posts: 136
    edited March 2020

    Hi Bon43,

    I am new here as well and I offer little expertise but warm (((hugs))) and empathy as you journey this path. I am sure when you receive more information, it will help calm the anxiety and fear. I find that reading posts terrifies but informs, and then I take a break from it. Then I come back to it....a rollercoaster ride for sure!

    Hoping you find comfort here as it seems there is kindness in every post! xx

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  • Jackster51
    Jackster51 Member Posts: 357
    edited March 2020

    Have they suggested a treatment plan for you yet?

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  • Bon43
    Bon43 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2020

    my first oncologist appointment is next Tuesday. I just got the receptor test back ER was low + (whatever that means ) PR - and HER2 +. I am grateful to finally hear from the oncologist with an appointment date. It feels like it’s moving at a snails pace.

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  • Bon43
    Bon43 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2020

    Hi Britspeech

    As far as the wedding goes I’m not sure how bad the chemo treatments will be. thoights? Does anyone Elsehave any opinions on this? I don’t want to cancel as it’s in August and I was in full wedding planning mode so lots of things finalized. What should I do?

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  • Nana2-8
    Nana2-8 Member Posts: 66
    edited March 2020

    It sounds like you might have a better handle on things after you've digested your appointment next Tuesday. In the meantime, crawl under the covers when you need it, and then....keep planning your wedding! No matter what, you can still be married....and plan for your marriage.....with/or without the actual 'wedding' celebration. You wouldn't be the only one who would have to adjust plans....especially in the COVID-19 world. Think of all those whose weddings were scheduled in the next two weeks or so! You will know more next week. We're here for you.

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  • Via
    Via Member Posts: 55
    edited March 2020

    hi! Breath!!! Your going to be alright! I know when they tell you is so scary but your going to be fine! Things are slow and that is a good thing. When is something bad trust me you would already had the surgery! They move so fast when is bad! My sister was like that. They didn’t let her think all was so fast! with me it was slow because my cancer was not as bad and things took time.

    I just wanted to say that I know when they tell you is like a tsunami hit your life! And it messes everything but I promise you that you will be OK! I am a year an a month out! You will be too!


    vian

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  • littlejukie
    littlejukie Member Posts: 13
    edited March 2020

    Hi,

    How did you do with your hormonal therapy? Any side effects? Thanks for your info.

    Julie.

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  • littlejukie
    littlejukie Member Posts: 13
    edited March 2020

    Hello,

    How are you doing on arimidex? I have just been diagnosed for the 3rd time. But thankfully all three of mine have been early. I have always rejected hormonal therapy.

    Thanks,

    Julie

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  • jelloelloello
    jelloelloello Member Posts: 92
    edited March 2020

    Hi Bon43,

    I saw that you have your first oncologist appointment coming up tomorrow so I wanted to stop by and wish you good luck and strength!

    I am also 43, newly diagnosed with IDC, but it's been a month-and-a-half since my diagnosis so I have a lot more info now- like, Stage 3, huge tumor (seriously it feels like the top half of my breast is a rock), also spread to my lymph nodes in the armpit area, etc, etc. I felt so much better after meeting my oncologist, my nurse navigator (case manager) and the hospital staff. I felt like I had real answers (or next steps as we continued to search for the answers) and real support. It was so much more helpful to have information because it felt like I was a part of what was happening to me, instead of just passively sitting here, confused and unable to find the right info online myself. (I honestly could've gone crazy with all the stuff I was Googling while waiting for my diagnosis- omg- it's good that I stopped myself at some point!)

    I hope your appointment goes well, that you and your family get all your questions answered, and that you leave the appointment with some next steps that will help you to feel better.

    And if you find out that you will begin a treatment plan that includes chemo starting soon, please join us in the "Starting Chemo April 2020" group!

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  • Bon43
    Bon43 Member Posts: 20
    edited March 2020

    Hi Jelloelloello

    thanks for thinking of me. I can’t wait to get to the appointment so I can get some sort of plan in place for treatment. I will definitely join the group if I get started with chemo. I am thinking that and hormone therapy is next steps but I will find out for sure tomorrow. After my mammogram I realized the lump was there and just couldn’t believe I didn’t know before! I will give an update tomorrow. When do you start chemo? This covid19 has me almost crazy too! I hope you are keeping safe. Do you have children?

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  • toria1212
    toria1212 Member Posts: 136
    edited April 2020

    Bon43,

    How was your appointment? Thinking of you and hoping that you received reassuring information...

    xx

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  • HeartShapedBox
    HeartShapedBox Member Posts: 172
    edited April 2020

    Hello Bon43, feeling surreal and not knowing what comes next is totally normal, let yourself feel what you need to feel, and focus on taking care of YOU right now (which can be so hard for moms!). I echo everything others have said, this is the hardest time in many ways, and this is a great resource and community to help you every step of the way.

    Try not to spin out into future what ifs or planning at this point, you'll have much more information in the coming future to work with, and you'll have a treatment schedule to work with and know more about the specifics (like what kind of chemo) to be able to get more information and advice. I'm a compulsive researcher and I spent maaany sleepless nights with Dr Google, but until you know more specifics, doing that will just send you down some rabbit holes of potentially scary or confusing info- breast cancer is NOT one size fits all, and there are MANY different factors that decide treatment, disease-free survival statistics, etc. If you fill in what you know about your diagnosis in your profile, it will help others here give you better advice. It's OK if you don't know much- just fill in what you DO know, piece by piece. Wishing you well during this scary time ❤


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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited May 2020

    hello sweetie I was 42 when found lump I we were planning our 2nd marriage at diagnosis. But Praise God I am this yr 26yr Survivor thru Positive thoughts like I will make it thru this to marry the man of my dreams and prayers. Hope to marry this wonderful man kept me pushing holding on to Hope. msphil idc stage2 0/3 nodes 3mo chemo before and after Lmast reconstruction expander implanted one filling then wks later fiance at time rushed me to E R where they immediately removed it had 103 temp then Got Married almost bald then 7 wks rads 5yrs on Tamoxifen. You can do this too. Positivity and lots Hope🙏

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