A week ago ...

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PMML
PMML Member Posts: 25
edited February 2020 in Just Diagnosed

This time a week ago I was feeling a little nervous about going to an outpatients appointment following a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy two weeks prior. I completely expected the doctor to tell me it was nothing (as I've had twice previously) but not so this time! I have IDC PR/ER +, HER2 -. I'm scheduled for a pre-op appointment tomorrow, MRI on Friday, clinic the following Wednesday, then partial mastectomy the following Friday.

My mother had a mastectomy in January with an identical cancer so medically I know what is going on and am prepared for that. I have thrown myself into getting prepared - filled the freezer with meals for my kids, bought button up clothes, sewed cushions for under the arm (tip from mum's surgery), made a binder of information. But when I have a quiet moment, it creeps in and I'm starting to feel awful. Unable to concentrate at work. Tearful. Sad.

My husband left me for another woman 14 months ago so I'm still grieving that and now this just seems like a nightmare! Have others gone through this alone? I have a sister that I'll be relying on somewhat but she also needs to be there for our mother (who lives 6 hours away) so it really is just me and two teenagers every other week!

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  • Yogatyme
    Yogatyme Member Posts: 2,349
    edited February 2020

    I am so sorry you are going through this without a spouse/partner. It is difficult enough when you have someone who is there when you need help. There are others on this forum who are in your position and can offer helpful advice. There are also those that have unsupportive/dismissive spouses.....that, IMHO, is worse than going through it alone. I had that situation w a previous cancer many years ago, and no surprise, we ended up in divorce court. With my bc, I was overwhelmed w all the help offered by my friends and I hope your friends offer the same. I had a significant recovery (about 3 weeks of total fatigue but no real pain after the first few days). My sister recently had bmx and had a remarkably easy recovery.....she was up making cookies on day 2. She needed no pain meds other than OTC ibuprofen. So, hopefully your course will be more like my sisters. Call in the reinforcements. I’m hoping for a good surgical and recovery outcome for you.

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  • WC3
    WC3 Member Posts: 1,540
    edited February 2020

    PMML:

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. You will get through treatment but it's perfectly ok to allow yourself a good cry if you need one. You might want to see if there are any support groups and resources for those with breast cancer in your area.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2020

    Sorry you've had to join us on this site. Just wanted to let you know - you'll do OK.

    I am divorced & my one son lives in another state. I needed someone to take me to surgery & pick me up - because of course they won't let you leave on your own. My son came for a couple days for the BMX and a couple more days when I had the exchange 6 months later. But other than that, I was fine on my own.

    I drove myself to chemo every time by myself and did just fine. It was a 6-7 hour infusion time because of the various drugs. It was easier to be alone because I didn't have to keep convincing someone sitting with me that I was fine - when I might have felt like crap & would rather sleep anyway. But you can certainly have friends go with you or bring you lunch if you're there all day. Oh - and that was 6 chemo treatments every three weeks the first time & 4 more of another kind after surgery because I didn't have pCR. I scheduled the treatments on Thursday, felt fine on Friday since I was still on steroids, and recovered over the weekends. And then Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks for the rest of a year.

    I had radiation 5 days a week for 5 weeks. I drove myself to every one and had no problems. The drive and getting out of my clothes took considerably longer than the zap.

    You CAN do this. And we'll be here to listen & support you.


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  • mom2bunky
    mom2bunky Member Posts: 189
    edited February 2020

    I'm so sorry honey. I'm sending you a warm hug. You can do this. It'll be harder alone, but my teen son was an enormous help to me and yours will be too. I also felt perfectly fine during the entire ordeal and was able to get myself everywhere and frankly preferred it (except for the surgery of course). So since it sounds like you've been found early too, hopefully it'll be the same for you.

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited February 2020

    My Mom had breast cancer when she was 85. Dad had died about a year and a half before. She got rides to surgery and back, and the first few post-op appointments, but didn't want help otherwise. She drove herself to 33 daily radiation sessions in another town. She lived to 97 (and died from other causes), so I don't think the whole experience shortened her life too much.

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited February 2020

    PMML, you will do fine, I'm sure. I went through it alone except for rides to and from surgery and also my first chemo. It was actually helpful that it was just me because as someone else said, you don't have to make small talk or entertain someone else. I'm so sorry about your breakup with your boyfriend. Please know that we are all here for you.

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