My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Oh, Mara, glad you are ok and that you posted again after the crying spell. Back on the horse, as they say. Anyone could have tripped on that sidewalk space. Glad you are ok and give yourself some time for the soreness to wear off, then get back to walking. I know you enjoy it. Keep doing what you enjoy.

My church had a "Dinner and a Movie" night last night. I went. It was fun. Good food---pork burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, cole slaw, and lots of good desserts. A nice time away from my house. Tomorrow is my MO appointment. I know my latest scan results--they were on the patient portal-- but I will meet with MO and discuss the results. I thank God I am "stable" for now and can continue the pretty easy treatment of Ibrance/Letrozole/Lupron/Xgeva combo.

Thinking of all my virtual friends--- Mae, Moomala, Rabbit, Sondra, BevJen, Mel, Grannax, Karen, Nicole, Philly, Pat. And anyone else I forgot to mention. The starting of another week---scans, treatments, doc visits. I pray for you all.

Mae, I saw your post, and you have been on my mind. I hope you are resting comfortably and that your medical team has begun a treatment plan for the clot. It seems like you just can’t catch a break lately. Hopefully, you will be back on your feet soon, your body will begin to heal, and you can return to your normal, exciting, active life.

Hugs and prayers from, lynne

Thanks Karen. I agree with you, not going to let that stop me. I could just as easily trip in my apartment as there is a half step up from my living room to kitchen. Never tripped yet and no reason for me to assume the same thing will happen. DB and SIL want me to rest but I will see if sore tomorrow. On the plus side I really only have skint knees to show for it. The faint was still concerning to me and willl tell MO about it. I also am glad it was not truly balance related as more to do with the forward momentum caused by tripping over side walk which was not super even. Going to keep strong as if I don't do it, I will stand more chance of falling over. 

Dear Mara,

I'm glad that you are feeling better now after your cry. I have done the exact same thing (minus the fainting). A few weeks ago, I was walking with my daughter back from a coffee shop and I tripped and lost my balance. After I recovered from that, I did the same thing again in a few blocks. So it happens to all of us. I think I was a little bit tired plus, as you said, I didn't pick my feet up all the way and so I was getting caught on imperfections in the sidewalk.

You go, girl. You are an inspiration to all of us.

Oh Mel, that's terrible that you could not go to the funeral and I am glad that you did not damage your teeth and eyes. I was definitely not injured like you were. I just need to walk more carefully and although they say look ahead when you walk, I will continue to look down to see where the cracks are to avoid a fall. I am not normally klutzy, but cracks in the sidewalk are my kryptonite. I was more frightened of not being able to get myself up and then passing out after phoning SIL. No serious damage to me, just a couple of skinned knees. I treated myself to popcorn and chocolate.

I am glad that you are ok too. I will definitely be more careful but not stop walking outside and keep strengthening my right leg.

Mara, years ago I fainted on my way my car after a co-worker’s funeral. Someone led me back inside and put a cold wash cloth on my neck, etc. I was embarrassed and they were very kind to me. Why are we humans embarrassed for having things happen that can happen to anyone?

Candy, thats’s great that you got to go to the dinner and movie night. Isn’t it nice to do something *normal* rather than cancer stuff? A couple weeks ago I was invited to a girls’ night out and I was so excited. I had to try and put away that feeling of being an alien as I sat there with my non-alcoholic drink and these laughing women. I need to get out more.

Yes, enough of setbacks. Crossing my fingers that you can get out of that hospital tomorrow!

Mae, I am hoping you get out tomorrow and without setbacks.

Thank you everyone for your stories. It makes me feel better.

I am not overly sore from the fall so going to get back on the horse today. It is beautiful and sunny and can't stay in all day.

Candy,

Glad that you can find some support here. I'm with you -- sometimes people who are closest to us just don't seem to get it at all. Or they are purposely in such a fog that they don't want to get it, I think. Hope the MO visit goes well, and congrats on a good scan. Like you, I check my results before the MO appointment -- I find that I read the report maybe more carefully than she does sometimes.

Well, I jumped in the deep end of my fear of falling and went for an outdoor walk. Not a long distance, only about 15 or 20 mins. It may have looked strange to other people because I was almost marching instead of big strides, but I don't give a crap what other people think. I figure if I march most of the time, it will remind me to pick up my feet. I should do that with both feet as well since cracks and shuffling feet do not mix. Not sure how much this will affect my speed when it comes to getting to places, but don't really care. I am also practicing the marching around the house. I may also attach a small weight to my right foot to also remind me to lift it. These steps should be helpful as I am not anxious of a repeat performance of yesterday.

My SIL wanted me to rest today but I am not overly sore from yesterday. That was lucky for me. I am going to conquer my fear of falling as the fear is what will make me fall. Also going to stay close to home when walking over the next couple of days. Also will practice getting up from the floor more in case I do fall but going to wait a few days for that. I cannot stay in the house all the time and I can just as easily fall. I may also set up obstacle courses in the house to teach myself to be more coordinated. We will see.

I hope everybody is doing well, I will be in anybody's pocket who needs me, Mae hope you're out of hospital soon and getting to eat more. I am just going to keep walking around the block after meals for now.

Mara-Glad you are out walking again. Funny you should mention about the marching. Someone just told me that once we get older or weaker we should pretend we are marching so that we aren't just dragging our legs. I'm trying to do that a bit myself because I notice my legs tend to drag a bit. I walk much slower even when I think I am walking fast!

Mae-Hope you are home soon.

Runor, I am OK. Woke up slightly sore but determined. Adopted a marching style of walk that helps make sure both legs are lifting up and not shuffling. Been around the block a couple of times and feel pretty good. I am also doing a slight march at home to stay in the habit. It looks slightly weird to me but seems to work. Not willing to fall because of pavement cracks. Also not going to stay in the house when it is sunny outside. The funny thing was that the sidewalk itself did not have ice, I just did not life my right foot enough over the crack so it sent me flying forward. That is how I have fallen in any season over the past few years.

I can also sympathize about the hills. I don't like them either. Most of the places I go, it is usually mostly flat. When I walked the 8 km on Friday, there are a series of steep hills and valleys. I definitely took a few seconds to gather my breath and trudged up as fast as I could. My treadmill does not incline, it is a tiny one that folds up. I use it when I want to go fast but have to hang on for dear life. I will say, when on my way home and came up and down the hills again, my legs felt like lead. After sitting around a while at home, I felt really good though. Just going to keep practicing my march. When it snows, won't be so much of an issue, but when sidewalks bare, then I want to be in the habit of the marching type steps.

Thanks again to all you wonderful, brave, strong women.

I guess I get angry that I don't have the luxury of living in denial--MO visits, scans, pills, shots, dealing with the side effects of the meds every day. And I think "Come on, grow up and face things" when talking to my family members. What really threw me for a loop, without airing too many family issues, is that another sister (B) had a doc appointment today also. The sister I was talking to on the phone (A) was voicing her concerns about the other sister's (B) appt. Then I had to remind sister A that I have MBC and this is pretty dang serious. And, of course, the sister with the doc appt goes to her appts with her husband, and I go alone.

BevJen- I too like reading my scans BEFORE the appt. Then I have time to formulate my questions. And YES I read EVERY word of the report and ask about EVERYTHING. And YES the MO sometimes seems like she skims the report and some of the specifics get missed by her. When I bring up a specific question, she re looks at the report and says "I didn't see that". I know she does not actually read the scans, just reads the rad report---one time she told me that she doesn't read x-rays and that she rely on the rad to read the scans.

Mara- Good for you on going for another walk. Marching---I can picture you, love it. You gotta do what you gotta do.

At the onc office today, there was a basket at the check out desk of painted rocks. We could take 1. I chose one that is painted blue and yellow and says "U Are Not Alone". I needed that today. It is sitting on my computer desk at home.

Candy, you are not alone because we are here. We may not be there in person but we are here for you and care about you. Your sister who is more worried about the other sister than you will find eventually it will be too late to show caring. I have a younger brother who never cared when I got cancer and did a lot of emotionally and verbally abusive things. I finally decided I had to cut him out and it has been over a year since I have seen or directly spoken to him. I did yell at him from this site when he tried to get info on me from this site, have not heard anything since. Sometimes getting a person out of your life, even if just for a bit can add some peace to life.

Mel, I totally agree. Although it is sad that it happened, my mother passing away also enabled me to make that decision about the younger brother. If she were around, she would have wanted me to try making peace with him. Now I could decide what was best for me (and him as well) to remove the toxicity. I wish his family the best but don't want to see or talk to them. The exception would be his biological son as I have never had conflict. Left the door open and if he wants to see me, I would be happy to see him. If he chooses not to, I can totally understand that as well. Not too worried. Have gotten used to mostly being on my own and doing my own thing. I also have my phone friend service who I talk to for upwards of an hour per day as we really hit it off. It was set up as a checkin status call to make sure I am OK but she asked if we could be friends. We are actually very similar in attitudes and in all, she is really good to talk to. When I go out, inevitably I wind having someone to talk to as well. Works well. I also must not forget DB and SIL who jumped in the van to help me when I fell after calling and then fainted.