Mastectomy bra and prosthesis fittings, please weigh in
Hi friends, if you went flat after mastectomy and decided to get fitted for a bra and prosthetic forms to wear, could you share your experience with obtaining them?
I have been flat for almost a year after BMX and finally decided to go get a bra and breast forms. The local store I went to confirmed in advance that they work with cancer survivors and do mastectomy bra fittings. The experience was horrible and I left wanting to cry. I am not usually faint of heart or hurt by interactions like this, and I am wondering now what a fitting usually entails or should entail. This woman was not only rude, snappy, and said condescending things to me, but she had me in tight, scratchy, underwire bras, which I am pretty sure is a known no-go (right??).
Can anyone tell me what I should expect at a GOOD fitting that would leave me with a new bra and forms? I need to know if my expectations are too high.
Additionally, can I do this whole thing by shopping online on my own, if I don't want to travel to another brick and mortar store? Any experiences, advice welcome. Thank you all.
Comments
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I have no experience in this as I only had my surgery this week. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you were left feeling this way.
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I went to a brick & mortar medical store that was very supportive. That said, I decided on reconstruction. And I ended up at Nordstrom's with a trained fitter who couldn't have been more caring.
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lighteningblue: So sorry you had such a bad experience. I was fitted at a prothesis shop by a certified mastectomy fitter in San Francisco. She was very kind. Based on my remaining breast shape/size, she recommended a couple of different prothesis and bras. None of the bras were underwire. (For some reason, most mastectomy bra bands seem undersized and a little tight.) This shop was in my insurance network and covered one prothesis and two bras.
You can shop for bras online. I bought a couple of mastectomy bras from Kohls (good deal when you have a good Kohls coupon) before my fitting cause I had a Kohls GC to use up. But for the prothesis, you probably should be fitted. You can buy them online, but it would be difficult to determine which size/shape and material to order.
I found a new bra made by "American Breast Care" (ABC) called the "Comfy Bra" # 131. It's styled more like a bralette, but has hooks in the back. I like the comfort of a bralette, but I hate pulling them over my head. So this bra seems ideal. (A closer mastectomy shop is ordering it for me cause they didn't have my size in stock. Since my insurance isn't paying for this one, I don't have to stay in-network.)
Good luck!
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I started with a fitting and prosthetics at a local shop shortly after surgery and honestly, I rarely ever wear those bras and prosthetics anymore. Mostly I wear bralets with a little foam filler or one with micro beads.
My fitting was nearly as traumatic as yours. The store had very little to choose from in the way of bras and they only had 1 of every size prosthetic, while I needed 2. They had me get size 8 prosthetics which are big heavy monsters and I just don't need anything that big to give the illusion of bumps under my clothes.
I also went to Nordstroms and the fitter was very kind and helpful but their bras just aren't designed for our needs. All are underwire. I wear a 40 B (B fits my prosthetics) and it's nearly impossible to find many bras at Nordstrom in that size.
I went out one time and bought 5 regulars bras, all very pretty ones from various department stores and sewed in pockets (surprisingly easy to do) but I've decided they are just too uncomfortable. Why? In general, bras have never been comfortable for me but I would get used to them, sort of break them in. Now, since I either go flat or wear one of my stretchy bralets most of the time, I'm no longer used to the uncomfortable feel of most bras. Since you've done without for a year now you may notice the same thing.
I'm just not sure that prosthetics and mastectomy bras are needed in today's world when we have so many other choices to look good in our clothes
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Hi Lightningblue, I'm so sorry about your horrible experience. A woman who does mastectomy fittings should be kind, gentle and extra sensitive and the woman you had was clearly none of those. She should be able to help you find non-underwire, comfortable and well-fitting bras and suitable breast forms, which in the case of double mastectomy can be quite lightweight. I had a good experience for my fitting but I was quite nervous about it and aware that it could be traumatic. I was shown a range of bras in different sizes and colours and breast forms in different materials and weights. I ended up with a few bras that were fairly comfortable (Amoena Mona, Amoena Power Sports and Amoena Annette bras). Some women like me are used to thicker bra straps and that's why I liked similar mastectomy ones but others prefer thin straps. It depends a lot what size you were before surgery. There are lightweight silicone breast forms but I ended up with memory foam forms, as they're a lot cheaper. I find them a bit hard against my arms and I don't wear mine much because I still have nerve pain. Please let us know if you have other questions. Once you know what you like and what size fits best you can by things online but it's risky to buy them online otherwise, unless they have a good returns policy.
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I struggle getting my breasts even with the prosthesis. I also tried knitted knockers which some women like, but they’ didn’t really work for me. The mastectomy bras are always tight around the rib cage so I bought bra extenders. I don’t think I had a decent fitting.
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Hi,
I am sorry you had such a bad experience. I had a bad experience when fitting wigs and was very upset, so I can only imagine how you might feel given the intimate nature of the fiitting.
I had a double BMX and have opted to go flat for health reasons. I have yet to go to a mastectomy fitter, but I plan to at some point. What I have been doing in the meantime is using knitted knockers in Jockey 'microfibre crop top' and Jockey 'Modern Fit Microfibre Bra tops'. they have removeble cups which means you can easily put in knitted knockers (these are knitted outers stuffed with the kind of stuffing you get in some soft toys). The Microfibre crop top with the wider shoulder straps has an opening at the top which made the kk's drift up when sitting down, so I just hand stitched that closed ( it took 5 minutes) and cut open the sides. I find them extremely comfortable although if I have been lying down or doing yoga or something very active, I sometimes have to adjust the kk's. The knitted knockers were free and I am sure if you look online or ask your local breast cancer centre, you should be able to get some. The ones I got were a size bigger than they were supposed to be, but they leave a hole to remove the stuffing. I don't know if I get a proper breast-form, whether they will work with these bras, but I don't see why not, as I don't fancy shelling out 3 times the price for what is essentially the same bra.
Strangely, I find the mild pressure of the knitted knockets on my chest a bit reminiscent of having breasts.
Good luck with whatever you choose and find another fitter as it sounds like the one you say is horrible.
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I read a lot but don't post very often. But on this subject, I will offer my opinion - just my opinion not worth much but here it is. I had my first fitting from in a very nice shop that employed only women who had gone through mastectomies. All kind and helpful woman. What I found was that I really wasn't comfortable in any bra. I thought maybe the passage of time would help with the pain and discomfort, but it never did.
After many attempts at finding a comfortable bra, I finally tried the Coobie bra offered on TLC Direct. It's like a comfy sports bra. I found that I could stand no metal parts on a bra at at - no hooks, underwires, metal rings on shoulder area - nothing. The Coobie has no metal. I also find the Coobie gives a little support on those days I experience a bit of lympedema in the trunk area. Also, on TLC Direct they will file a Medicare and Supplemental Insurance claim on your behalf. You pay up TLC, they file the paperwork and Medicare/Insurance sends a reimbursement check. They are very efficient and helpful. I've never had any trouble getting reimbursed.
Yes, I do get tired of the same old, same old, every time. But the pain free comfort is worth it. I use either the soft foam or micro bead prosthesis is a small size. It's a perfect combination for me.
I think it's all a matter of trial and error. Eventually you will find something that works. Of course, there are also those days that nothing will ever feel good on and on those days, I don't hesitate to go without anything.
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Hi everyone, I can relate to many of your experiences about how hard it is to get the bra and prosthesis situation working well. I am two years out from becoming "half-flat" and although I have a better understanding now of what works for me, it has been a rocky road.
I went to two different stores for fittings. One store was pretty good, but at the other store, I felt that the ladies there were bossy and condescending toward me. At first they "explained" to me that what I thought was my bra size could not really be my bra size. Then they proceeded to put me into several bras that I knew wouldn't fit, only for my remaining breast to be spilling out of the cup, until we got back to the bra/cup size that I had stated in the beginning. Also, when I told them that the weight of some prostheses were too heavy, they told me that is "not true." What?!? I did end up going home with a prosthesis that fit and looked decent, but it was so heavy that it hurt me, and could never wear it because it caused a lot of pain. I recently upgraded to a much lighter prosthetic, and I am able to wear that without pain. It's the best solution I've found, but it is not perfect.
No matter what I wear - knitted knocker, heavy prosthesis, light prosthesis - it is really hard to get the symmetry right. I have tried to buy clothes that make the asymmetry less obvious, and I have mostly been wearing loose, layered clothing to mask the asymmetry. This mostly works, but I don't like feeling that I am hiding behind frumpy clothes. It's a work in progress.
As others have said, underwires are an absolute NO for me too. I did find one wireless mastectomy bra that I like okay, and a few sports bras that I might have a seamstress sew pockets into. It's a lot of trial and error for sure, and unfortunately it is a very sensitive process that some people are not very sensitive about.
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I went to a hospital mastectomy boutique and they did a decent job fitting my bra, but did not get me the right size prosthetic. Amazon really saved the day for me. I buy Amoena bras and their Natura prosthetic (which is lighter weight and very soft on the chest). If you get it from Amazon, you can return it, unlike the boutique at my hospital.
Really sorry you had a bad experience. It's a tough process without someone being a jerk to you.
ANYone who tells me I don't know my own bra size is going to get a lecture on how this sales technique of telling women they're too stupid to know what feels comfortable is ridiculous and should have been left in the 1900s. Arg..
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OK color me stupid as I have not yet had my surgery , but may go for UNI MX with no recon.
Cant I just get a regular ( COMFY) padded bra and take the pad out of one side or ?And could I ask soemone to sew a pocket ion some of my bras opr ?????!!!!!!!
THX -
purple32, you could try a regular comfy padded bra and take the pad out of one side, so long as it's not underwire. Most padded bras that I've come across don't have removable pads and if you mean a crop top bra, most of the pads in them are very small and mostly for modesty. You can have someone sew pockets into your regular bras. If they are underwire, you could remove the wire on the surgery side. I hope you can find something that works for you. It usually takes a bit of experimentation to get things right.
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THX Aussie Cat
or even something like this ?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q2HTQCR/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_mO0pEbPH27SSG
Everything else looks $O pricey!
Surely, there must be some cancercare type places that have grants for free now and then ?
I wish lymphedivas had special bras ( hint hint Josh :>0) -
purple32, that looks really good! They would be too heavy for me and how comfortable they'd be for you would depend on what size you'd need. I'm interested to hear if you like it.
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For bras, these work great and are under $30. I just went up a band size (I was a 36D, I order a 38D in this).
https://www.amazon.com/Amoena-Womens-Mara-Molded-Foam/dp/B00RNWHLIC/ref=sxin_0_sxwds-bia-wc4_0?cv_ct_cx=amoena+bra&keywords=amoena+bra&pd_rd_i=B00RNWHLIC&pd_rd_r=6949cb5d-d394-43c6-b35e-e756d8610163&pd_rd_w=lwuRH&pd_rd_wg=JbPh5&pf_rd_p=e308a38c-3620-4845-b486-18a551828bb6&pf_rd_r=K2RA5Q3P7F7X9NZBZX4V&psc=1&qid=1581391894&sr=1-4-e1d37225-97ae-4506-b802-4ca5ff43ebe6Amazon also sells lightweight Amoena prosthetics for around $200 (about half the price a boutique would charge). Insurance usually covers 1 prosthetic every year or two. The nurses usually know the details and can fill you in during your checkup.
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Thank you all for responding to my post! This has been super helpful.
I was able to travel to another store and get fitted and set up with the right stuff. It was a totally different experience from the first place I went. This new place I went to had a small private room for fittings, with all the bra options and prosthetic options there in the room (the first place I went to was sizing me in non-mastectomy bras and did not carry any stock of prosthetics, they said they order them after fitting). The woman who helped me this time knew exactly what to offer and what to look for to get a good fit in both the bras and the prostheses. A completely different experience.
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Hello, I understand very well. I had a double mastectomy in 2000 and was flat for 17 years. Demanding career and employer unwilling to allow me to have time off to do reconstruction. Retired now and process is almost complete.
What I did was measure my chest as if measuring for a bra. Then I obtained prosthetics online, purchasing a few..played with cup size some to figure what looked best. Then I obtain a prosthetic bra and used it for awhile.Decided it was kind of boring (lol) hospital white bra, so I purchased some sports bras some well made and some just not so expensive stretchy kinda jersey ones. I made sure the cup was lined and in a way so that I could open them from the top side to slip the prosthetic in with a little effort.
I made the opening so that it would be just enough that after some squeezing of the prosthetic in would slip into place and stay put in the cup size without slipping out sideways. Kinda of a top cut into the lining. I did have to do some sewing to help position each in a symmetrical way giving them walls of separation in some of the bras. Took me a little time but I mastered it! Worked great for me. Gave me more variety and some excitement to look forward to wearing colored bras. I made it a fun project and through a few trail and errors got it to my liking.
I love the art of dancing so getting them to stay put was a challenge at first. Don't know if this helps but might be something to think about and try if you like.
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Hi there, Seal77! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and what worked for you - these are great tips that we're sure will be helpful to many here!
The Mods
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I had a lumpectomy and went in for a bra fitting. Lisa asked me what size I wore. She went and got a bra of the same size then had me try it on. She checked to make sure it fit well all over. She also explained to me about the different types of fittings. Lisa was a very kind and understanding person. Nobody should have treated you this way. I will be having a mastectomy next week and will go back to the same place where I had bought my bras. I hope you can find another place that'll treat you well or that the place you went to will treat you better. Hope this helps.
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Hi @Seal77, thank you! I'm sorry that you weren't able to do recon when you wanted to. That makes me alternately sad and angry that your employer was not reasonable. I hope you are well now!
I plan on reconstructing too but won't be able to for several months and needed something in the meantime in order to wear my clothes without altering them. Your tips are great.
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Hi @stokerfan, thanks for posting. I wish you the best of luck with the upcoming mastectomy and a good, fast healing process!
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an old timer here. I have been getting mastectomy bras and prosthetics for 19 years. I have been to about ten different shops. Some seem to go out of business. The last one is a medical supply store with a great breast cancer section. The fitter knows her stuff and is very helpful. I have gained weight over the years and gone down some, so I always need a refitting. I like the fact that this place will fax my provider when I need replacements to get a new prescription. She also takes care of all the paperwork for Medicare etc. It saves alot of time I would have spent getting all the paperwork done. I have to say now, I really don't even think about putting my bra on. Just a normal thing. I do like the mastectomy bras for travel. I can carry my passport, credit cards and cash in the pocket and it is secure! Hoping the best all around!
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SoCalLisa - I was excited to see your name on the posts. I was here a lot more in 2007-2008 and saw your name often. Now I'm back with a possible recurrence - lots of tests pending. Since I had a uni-mast with no reconstruction, I just slip a little prosthesis into my Soma bra. It's a soft over-the-head or (for me) step-in type. I've made a few Knitted Knockers and have a small insert (A/B cup) that I got at Joann Fabrics or Michael's. I don't remember which. If this beast is back, I'm already thinking about a mast on the other side with no recon. Then I could get identical prostheses. Yay.
Glad you seem to be doing well. I did get a chuckle out of picturing you going though airport security with your bra full of cash, credit cards, passport, etc.
I read your posts a lot when I first came here. Yours and Beesie's - it feels like old home week.
Cheers, Carol
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Sorry I'm just now getting back. Surgery went well. Doctor did take some tissue out and sent it off to be biopsied. Benign. Seeing the Oncologist on the 19th to see what treatment I will need.
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stokerfan, I'm glad your surgery went well and I hope you're recovering well.
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Carol, just saw your post. Yes it has been a long time since we " talked" on this site 12 years ago, I guess. Have you heard anything about your possible recurrence?
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Not yet, Lisa. My oncologist called Friday night to say she wants to see me sooner than my original appointment with her. Moved it up 2 weeks so I'll see her on Wednesday (2 days away). My biopsy and clip placement are scheduled for a week from Wednesday. Somehow, it's very comforting to see you here. (((hugs)))
Hope you are well!
Carol
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Sending Hugs Carol..keep me in the loop...
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