PTSD after spouse’s treatment?

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Bakerstreet
Bakerstreet Member Posts: 25
edited January 2021 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi everyone,


Have been lurking and a bit writing on these boards since May. My spouse just finished her treatment and she is the light of my life. It was a bit hard for me: first because seeing her through treatments was hard secondly because I had to be away for one third of it due to our relocation. We were supposed to move across from the Atlantic and I had to go ahead and do it while she received treatment. She couldn't start in our new city due to paperwork/ insurance stuff. She is done now and recovering, gaining her strength to come join me in our new life. I find myself very very depressed, actually first time in years and first time since she was diagnosed. I think it is PTSD; I know the cancer survivors get it but didn't know the family members could have post-treatment depression.

Is this normal and will this go away? I am seeing a therapist but I almost feel like I need antidepressants.

Wishing you all health and happiness,


BS

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  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Member Posts: 1,307
    edited February 2020

    It is normal, but if you feel like you need antidepressants, that would probably help you. Check with your therapist if they can prescribe for you, or a referral to someone who can. Please be patient, as it can be hard to find the right formula for help. I wish you all good while you try to find peace in your new life together.

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited February 2020

    It is definitely normal to worry and have PTSD about worries or recurrence. I am sure your support has meant a lot to your spouse. I agree that if you are not feeling better soon you may want to start with your primary care doc who may prescribe for you but also may end up referring you to a therapist who has specialty of dealing with cancer caregivers. Best thoughts to you.

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  • Bakerstreet
    Bakerstreet Member Posts: 25
    edited February 2020

    Thank you MountainMia and bcincolorado! I guess we’ll find a new normal, surviving the treatment gave us some kind of strength and I feel like in a vacuum post-treatment. Fears wash over me time to time but hopefully this shall pass too

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2020

    Caregivers experience PTSD too. At 36, I was caregiver to my brand new husband, who died from oral cancer soon after we married. I had triggers years later (one I remember: I left my keys in my car and left the car door open-provoking a dinging alarm so I wouldn't lock keys in the car. About 10 seconds later I "woke up" from a memory of my husband's portable chemo bag alarm going off, which told us when to change his ringer's lactate bag for a new one. It was weird-and happened over a decade after he had died.)

    PTSD strengthened again after my own dx.

    Claire in AZ

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2020

    https://www.conciergecareadvisors.com/caregivers-suffering-from-ptsd/

    This might help...

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  • Bakerstreet
    Bakerstreet Member Posts: 25
    edited February 2020

    Claireinaz thank you very much! It really helps to know we are not alone. When your loved one goes through a hell of a fight, you think you should not look into your ptsd or prioritize yourself but it hit me. Treatment was an all-time Adrenalin and now it has sunk in. I am praying for all you ladies here along with my wife. Hope you never experience it again and live long healthy years

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  • GirlWithGoldenEyes
    GirlWithGoldenEyes Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2021

    Hi, I am sorry you’re struggling! But I felt like I should correct a common misconception. As a person with PTSD, I like to clear up incorrect information so this is said with love. A small disclaimer too, I am not a doctor and definitely not qualified to diagnose.

    With all that said, I don’t feel you have PTSD at all. I absolutely see depression, which is completely normal and should be cared for as you’re doing with therapy and possibly medication. The reason I say this isn’t PTSD is there is a very specific criteria for diagnosis (and therefore treatment). First, you have to have experienced a Crit A trauma (abuse, witnessing a death, near death experience, and rape), followed by certain behaviors such as nightmares, flashbacks (which are not like on TV), anxiety, possible memory issues associated with the trauma, hypervigilance, insomnia, self harm, etc).

    PTSD is very complex, from its cause/onset and its manifestation. Depression can be complex as well (and is no way lesser) but has a different way of being treated.

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