25 yrs old Stage 2A grade 3 IBC ER positive

Options
obiyiro
obiyiro Member Posts: 2
edited January 2020 in Just Diagnosed

My 25 years old daughter was diagnosed with infiltrating breast CA state 2A grade 3 in late November and had a lumpectomy with negative senntinel nodes. CA is ER positive. BRCA and oncotype test are negative. Oncologist wants her to do chemo, radiation. I thought radiation and antiestrogen therapy would have been better but I cannot tell my daughter because I want the decision of treatment to be hers. She on the other hand is totally a basket case considering her age and the worries of chemotherapy and the likelihood of early menopause is also a scary prospect for her.

Does anyone have a similar situation and how did they handle it.

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • SimoneRC
    SimoneRC Member Posts: 419
    edited January 2020

    Hi obiyiro,

    So sorry to hear about your young daughter’s cancer diagnosis. It does not sound like she has been diagnosed with IBC, which is inflammatory breast cancer. Perhaps she was diagnosed with Invasive (Infiltrating) Ductal Carcinoma or Invasive (Infiltrating) Lobular Carcinoma? I can certainly understand her distress receiving this diagnosis.

    It sounds like she has her cancer team assembled. A breast surgeon, radiation oncologist and medical oncologist at the least. Your daughter is an adult who, it sounds like, is receiving recommendations tailored to her specific situation which includes radiation and chemotherapy from her cancer team. I am wondering what the reason is that you would recommend something different? With her young age and high grade, I would be surprised if the recommendations from the trained professionals would not include chemotherapy. Guessing Tamoxifen or Ovarian suppression with AI will follow.

    Your daughter is an adult. She has a cancer team. I am sorry, but I really do not understand why you think your answer is better???

    Sending strong thoughts to your daughter.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited January 2020

    With her age, she has to also do chemo. Cancer is very, very aggressive in you people. I would strongly suggest staying out of any treatment discussions with her. Had anyone even offer any opinion I was have been freaked out. With just myself and my medical team it was very easy and I had complete faith in them. I would guess, and I say this with respect, that processing and feeling your emotions about this would be much more beneficial and as a result lead you to less second guessing. Prayers for your strength to go through this. I so sorry this has happened to your daughter.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • blue22
    blue22 Member Posts: 280
    edited January 2020

    as Simone said - it doesn't sound like your daughter has IBC, you might want to change your title if you can.

    I also don't understand why you would suggest she not have chemo. I don't know your daughter, or your relationship, but unless that is something she is asking for - you are only making the situation more difficult for her by giving her another path to choose from. It is hard enough for her already. She needs your support, but that does not mean coming up with alternative treatments from what the doctors suggest, unless she asks for it and you have something to support those suggestions....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • blue22
    blue22 Member Posts: 280
    edited January 2020

    Also - I'm not sure where you had genetic testing - but she should talk to a genetic counselor and make sure she has the appropriate testing.... there are tests out there that are far from thorough and should not be trusted. There are also very good ones and a genetic counselor can guide her through the process.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • obiyiro
    obiyiro Member Posts: 2
    edited January 2020

    How does one feel the first day or week after chemo. My daughter is planning to go to work same day. She however does not know what to expect

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Marguin
    Marguin Member Posts: 21
    edited January 2020

    I understand your concern as a parent. You should encourage her to get a second Opinion from a respected hospital with no ties to her current facility. This will help determine the best way forward by confirming or offering other options.



    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SimoneRC
    SimoneRC Member Posts: 419
    edited January 2020

    Hi obiyiro,

    I have not done chemo, but my sister has, twice. And several friends. Everyone seems to be different. Some people do great. Others, not great. Some start off ok and then progressively have a tougher time. It sounds like you really want to have all of the answers for your daughter. Here’s the thing, cancer and it’s treatments (and side effects) can be super different for different people. Anecdotal stories are great. You are asking a super broad question here though. Some chemo treatments are more difficult while some are less difficult. Some people do just fine and never miss work, some people cannot work and there is everything in the middle. I know this must be hard for you as a mother. However please do not let your anxiety and want to fix/control things get in the way of your real job as a mother, which is to support your daughter during this super tough time in her life.

    Take care and good luck to your daughter!


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • VL22
    VL22 Member Posts: 851
    edited January 2020

    First, let me say I’m very sorry your daughter is going through this at such a young age. Of course she is freaking out. I also agree with everyone that chemo is necessary. If she has questions about menopause, fertility etc, she should write them down and discuss with her medical team.

    You need to calm down, breathe and be there to offer love and support. She is on a roller coaster of emotions and will need you.

    Chemo is tough, but these boards are filled with women who get through it. There are great threads on here for chemo, young women etc - maybe suggest she take a look.

    Once she has a plan in place and treatment starts, the emotions will settle and she’ll be stronger.

    The best of luck to you both.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NotBrokenJustBent
    NotBrokenJustBent Member Posts: 394
    edited January 2020

    I have to agree with others. Given her age and grade, chemo is necessary. I am not familiar with fertility issues but clearly something to be discussed and addressed prior too. Sorry Mom but this thing has to be kicked in butt now!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited January 2020

    obiyiro, are you by chance in the U.K? I've seen quite a few articles from the U.K. refer to IDC (invasive ductal carcinoma) as IBC (invasive breast cancer). This is different from what the others commenting here are referring to as IBC, which is inflammatory breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is a rare subtype that is very aggressive and always at least Stage IIIB.

    It sounds as though your daughter has Stage IIA IDC. While chemo isn't always prescribed for this stage of cancer, as the others have mentioned, given her young age, it is not surprising that chemo has been recommended for your daughter, since IDC tends to be more aggressive in younger patients.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • buttonsmachine
    buttonsmachine Member Posts: 930
    edited January 2020

    I'm sorry you're in this situation. You can look into fertility preservation before chemo. You can also do ovarian suppression during chemo which can help protect the ovaries.

    I did neither of these things before or during chemo, but my ovaries seem to have made it through, and now they need to be suppressed for treatment purposes.

    If you're in the US, I'd encourage your daughter to at least consult with an NCI cancer center, or be treated at one. Breast cancer in young women behaves differently, and can be very aggressive. Best wishes to you both.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited January 2020

    I was able to work through chemo. One thing my mom did that helped was to make and freeze some meals for me. Ask if she'd like that and led her take the lead. Also offer to clean, vacuum, run errands, etc. if she wants. Doing that will help YOU feel useful and productive (because it is a helpless feeling when a loved one going through this) and it will help her when she's tired. Also consider getting her some gift cards.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • blue22
    blue22 Member Posts: 280
    edited January 2020

    One thing you will likely tire of hearing - from everyone including your doctors - is that everyone is different. That is one of the more frustrating parts of treatment, you never know what to expect.

    I was able to work through a lot of my chemo, but eventually the chemo brain, fatigue and other SE started catching up with me. If I had a different job, I would have been able to work through it. So, I would say it also depends upon the job, how stressful it is, what the requirements are etc. I know that sounds vague, but I feel like other places I've worked, and other jobs I've had would be possible with chemo.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories