New driver's exam for California

This is a new Exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in California, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the California area.

> >2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
> >
> >Name: ___________________ Stage Name:__________________
> >
> >Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________
> >
> >Therapist's Name: _________________
> >
> >Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female
> >[ ] Both
> >
> >*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
> >
> >Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate
> >motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No
> >
> >Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
> >
> >If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
> >________________________________________ _______
> >(Use extra pages, if necessary)
> >
> >Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
> >Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue
> >[ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________
> >
> >Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
> >apply)
> >[ ] Eating
> >[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
> >[ ] Applying make-up
> >[ ] Shaving (male or female)
> >[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
> >[ ] Lifting weights
> >[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
> >[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
> >[ ] Tanning
> >[ ] Snorting cocaine
> >[ ] Watching TV
> >[ ] Reading Variety
> >[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
> >[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading
> >
> >Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
> >[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
> >[ ] b) Be shot at ___
> >[ ] c) Both___
> >
> >If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
> >[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
> >[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your
> >car on the news in a high- speed chase.
> >[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
> >phone company for your 911 call not going through.
> >[ ] d) Call your therapist.
> >
> >In the event of an earthquake, you should:
> >[ ] a) Stop your car.
> >[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
> >[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
> >[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
> >
> >In the instance of rain, you should:
> >[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
> >[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
> >[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.
> >
> >Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per
> >week: ________
> >
> >Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
> >[ ] a) Prozac
> >[ ] b) Zovirax
> >[ ] c) Lithium
> >[ ] d) Zanax
> >[ ] e) Valium
> >[ ] f) Medical pot
> >[ ] g) Zoloft
> >[ ] h) All of the above
> >[ ] I) None of the above*
> >
> >* If none, please explain: __________________.
> >(use extra pages, if necessary)
> >
> >Length of daily commute:
> >[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
> >[ ] b) 1 hour
> >[ ] c) 2 hours
> >[ ] d) 3 hours
> >[ ] e) 4 hours or more
> >
> >* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
> >(use extra pages, if necessary)
> >
> >When stopped by police, you should:
> >[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
> >ready.
> >[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
> >[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
> >ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.
> >
> >When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
> >means:
> >[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
> >[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
> >[ ] c) She is drying her nails.
> >
> >Which part of your car will wear out first?
> >[ ] a) The wiper blades
> >[ ] b) The seat belts
> >[ ] c) The horn
> >
> >Automatic door locks are good for:
> >[ ] a) Security
> >[ ] b) Convenience
> >[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.
> >
> >
> >The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
> >[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
> >[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
> >[ ] c) Revenge
> >
> >If you are over the age of 75, you do not have to complete this
> >list, you are entitled to drive even if you cannot see, hear, or move.