First post and in need of some perspective
Hello all, I am go glad to have found this site. I am a 57 year old woman, who was just diagnosed with Invasive ductal carcinoma (grade 1) on 12/17/19 in the right breast, 9mm nodule. Since then an MRI revealed no further developments in the right breast (the lymph nodes looked regular), but it reveled a new nodule in the left breast (5mm) previously unseen, as well as a unusual feature on the liver). This report came on 12/27/19. Since then my anxiety as been through the roof, as I consider all the possibilities. (I lost my mother to lung cancer 20 years ago.) I've not been able to speak to any doctors about the reports, but I meet with my surgeon on Monday and have another MRI and mammogram scheduled on Tuesday.
How do I manage my anxiety until then? My husband has been swell, but as a nurse, he thinks I am rushing to a worse case scenario. I"m trying to stay upbeat for my two kids as well as continue with my work, but I am a bit frayed. Does anyone have any advice to offer?
Comments
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Hi!
Breast cancer is highly treatable, unlike many cancers like lung and pancreatic. You don't know what's on your liver, and you don't know what's in your left breast, so I wouldn't assume the worst. Only biopsies can definitively tell us whether or not a lump or a nodule or a whatever is cancer.
You need to keep busy right now. Clean a closet. Binge watch a show on Netflix. Cook an elaborate recipe. Distract yourself. If that doesn't work, you could ask for a prescription of Ativan or something.
When you see your surgeon on Tuesday, bring a list of questions, but remember that he/she may not have all the answers right now. There's a lot of scanning and testing and waiting for results at the beginning of cancer treatment. It sucks, but it will get better. ((Hugs))
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Did you have a CT scan? If not, I don't understand how something was found on your liver from just a mammogram. But you are at an age when a fatty liver is not uncommon - found on CT scans.
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Sending hugs Samibel! We understand the anxiety of waiting. And they are correct, distraction is the best tool, where possible. And remember that the liver can have benign findings (e.g. cysts). One day at a time, one step at a time, and we're all here for you.
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As another poster said, I watched Netflix, and asked my doc for some Ativan, which helped a lot. Honesty even if I didn't take it, it helped! I also took walks. I bought a few books (Mayo Clinic's was the best) but soon learned not to research until I knew what I was dealing with and also learned to avoid info that increased my anxiety.
This site is great. But even here, wait until you know what your tests say.
These days a lot of us escape chemo thanks to the Oncotype Dx and other tests. It's hard waiting but you'll know what lies ahead soon.
The holidays really make things harder. A friend of mine is dealing with possible ovarian cancer and has been assertive about hearing back from them but it still took until today.
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I was not even 50 when I was diagnosed, so I know what it is like to be younger dealing with this. As hard as it is, just try to keep your mind off things as much as possible.
My daughter in law is an oncology nurse at this point and I do know that she often automatically goes to "worst case" in her mind if it is something to do with one of the family because she sees so much. Try to find distractions if you can. Walk if you can. Read a fun book. Anything not medical may help some.
As a nurse you also know the best way to deal with things once you get information is to gather all the options and make decisions at that point. You also may have a good way of knowing who you may prefer for your care which puts you ahead of where most of us were at this point who were clueless and did not know any doctors.
Best wishes for your treatment.
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Hi there Samibel,
First, let me tell you you are going to be fine. I needed to hear it from others who are some years out with their dxes. 9 mm is pretty tiny, and please remember that odd things in our bodies don't necessarily mean cancer. I hope your doc will order a PET scan and put your fears to rest. It is perfectly normal to have high anxiety during this time-your life is threatened, for pete's sake, and anxiety is an expected reaction to having some threatening entity seemingly trying to invade your body at present. By now you've probably got some more information and that helps, some.
First, don't fight the anxiety. Some say keep busy, and I kept working throughout all my dx tests, meetings, and tx. THAT helped (I'm a university professor and found working with students kept my mind fully engaged when I was in classroom and for a bit I wasn't thinking of cancer). I read a bunch of inspirational posts here from women who are decades out from their dx; that helped. Cancer isn't an immediate or even distant prediction of death anyway--remember that. It's just a disease, like heart or diabetes or arthritis, that can be treated and often cured--a "one and done" (only we don't ever really know that-so we have to be vigilant the rest of our lives). Finally, I asked my surgeon for a low rx of Xanax and used it judiciously during the first weeks. He was glad to give it to me, so select your medical team wisely and make sure in addition to their expertise that they have good rapport with you, too.
Hope this helps.
Claire in AZ
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Very wise words from all of the old-timers above. Yes distraction, and yes you have the medical knowledge to know the absolute worst-case scenario. But I’m a numbers person. The fact is it is overwhelmingly probable that this is a blip similar to what many of us have gone through and you will get through it and out the other side. Hold on to that.
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Everyone is giving you good advice about distracting yourself, asking for anxiety meds, etc. As Claire said, your tumor is very small and grade 1 which are both very favorable re: treatment. The finding in your other breast could be something as minor as a cyst. I had a small (7mm) tumor in one breast and a fibroadenoma in the other. If you read my stats you will see that I had bilateral mastectomy but that was only b/c I have the BRCA1 mutation, not b/c of severity of disease. Hold on tight and try to remember that your odds are very good.
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I agree with everyone-- and would add that there can often be "incidental" findings as you are being scanned for this and that thing-- and many times, those things are nothing ---- a half of an ativan each day during the diagnostic period really helped me-- as did working and dealing with my dis, going to therapy, running, crying, etc. Truly, once you know what you are dealing with and have a plan you will be amazed at how much better you will feel. This is without question the absolute hardest part of the entire process. Hang in there....
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