BEFORE REQUESTING ACCESS FOR PICTURE FORUM

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited February 2018

    "At that point i was finished with all my surgeries and didn't need access. imo the "pic forum" process is the weakest aspect of this site. i found it very frustrating."

    The picture forum is NOT part of bco and is not part of the bco site. It is run by volunteers , who happen to be bco members, ontheir own time and their own dime

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited February 2018

    mrssoul, seriously??? You are back complaining about this again? To what end? Is it just your mission to trash the Picture Forum and the people who run it (on their own time, at their own cost and with consideration for the privacy of the hundreds of women who have posted pictures there)?

    To your points, it is true that you didn't ask for access to the Picture Forum until 6 months after you had joined this site, but during those 6 months, you didn't post here. You joined in April and didn't post until September 5th, at which point your first 3 posts were asking about where to see pictures of reconstruction. Your next 3 posts, later in September, were complaints about the admission rules for the Picture Forum and the fact that you hadn't been granted access to the site.

    If you had read the rules of the Picture Forum (available in the OP here and as told to you by the Picture Forum administrator), it should have been extremely clear to you in September that you had not met the qualification criteria.

    The only thing that I don't understand about your situation is that your request for access was eventually approved. With the few posts that you have here, and with your attitude towards the Picture Forum (as exhibited in your posts in this thread), I honestly don't know why you would have been granted the privilege of joining. That said, I trust the decisions of the Picture Forum Administrators.

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  • SoozyCue
    SoozyCue Member Posts: 43
    edited July 2018

    I have just private messaged requesting access, but as I said in that message, I know that it is extremely likely that I won't be approved "in time". I don't remember exactly what date I joined these forums, but I only had my biopsy and got my results within the past month, so it hasn't been long. I meet with my surgeon Thursday and have to decide pretty much on the spot what kind of reconstruction I want during bilateral mastectomy the following week.

    For many reasons that I won't get into here since I'm sure most of you have experienced them as well, I would really, really feel so much more comfortable making this decision if I am able to be part of a photo forum asking questions and having discussions with women who have the results that I am hoping for.

    I still hope that by some stroke of something that I am approved for the forum here quickly enough, but assuming that I won't be, can anyone recommend any similar forums elsewhere, or please also send me the information for any Facebook groups with this kind of discussion?

    Thank you so much.

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  • borogirl
    borogirl Member Posts: 86
    edited July 2018

    I sent a private message on 7/16 and haven't heard anything yet either.  I don't have the time crunch you have Soozy Cue, but it would be helpful to have a chance to see some pix before I meet with my plastic surgeon the end of this month.


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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited July 2018

    Vinnie Meyers has some picture of various types of recon on his site. http://vinniemyers.com/section/386299_Vinnie_Myers.html


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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited August 2018

    Hi exbrnxgrl & Beesie, sorry for the delay but thank you so much for being there for me as always. :)

    For the record, mrssoul has never been approved. She was only asked if she still wanted to join in Nov.2017 but she never answered so we didn't let her in. When I (or Lilah) are asked for access form those who haven't met the criteria, we just add them to the "waiting list" then wait until we are convinced that they are indeed legit and willing to share. They will be removed from the list if they are completely inactive here on BCO for a month. Sometimes we give access to those who aren't really active here but that is only when we personally know who they are (by communicating via PM's etc).

    What we really want people to understand is that we have 2 important missions as far as the Picture Forum is concerned. One is that we must be 100% convinced that we only invite those who really are part of us because no one would be comfortable to share their most intimate photos or experiences with random strangers. You would only share the photos of your boobs based on the trust that you would not be made fun of, that they would never be reposted somewhere you wouldn't know etc. But if it's been only a week or two since you joined here or if you hardly post here, how would we know who you really are?

    The other one is that we must keep our forum going. To make that happen, we have to be convinced that those who we invite are willing to share. You would only post if you could expect your post to be looked at and replied but if the last post we had on our forum was a year old, would you expect that to happen? We need those who actually post, not just look. You would say you have other things to do but trust me, we all do. Look at Beesie. How long has it been since she completed her treatment? How about whippetmom? Are they paid for their posts? Do they post to kill their time because they have nothing else to do? Hell no. You would still say that those who are past this cancer ordeal are different than you but please be aware that I started the Picture Forum when I was doing chemo and working literally 14-16 hours a day (to pay for the medical bills on my own) with a bunch of help from those who were going through what you are going through now. And sadly quite a few of them are no longer here on earth, which means that they were stage 4 at that time and had "life or death" issues other than a whole lot of other things to deal with.

    Those being said, I am not blaming any of you for not posting here. I am only asking you to understand why we ask what we ask. If you don't like it, fine. But just let us do what we do.

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  • babyo20
    babyo20 Member Posts: 143
    edited November 2018

    Hello everyone! 😀 I would like to access the picture forum but the last link I have is not working. Can someone please send me the current link?

    I am having a revision soon and I would love to get a few opinions on a few different things but it requires sharing pictures. I have shared several before but it has been awhile since I have been on.


    Please let me know what I need to do to rejoin. I am really having a hard time with this decision and could use the support of those who understand. Debating on replacing both or one and it’s such an important decision to make!


    Thank you

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited August 2019

    Reaching out here to say: I have not heard from Nowheregirl since June and I've left her many private messages both here on BCO and on our Picture Forum. With no response from her for so long (usually she responds to me within a week or so), I feel I should let people know that I have no idea what is happening or when (if ever) more members will be able to be added our site. She is the only one who can add people (I can only facilitate). So there it is. I'll report more if/when I hear or know more. Thanks, Lilah

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  • mamina5459
    mamina5459 Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2019

    Hello All. I requested access to the picture forum, but it was just a couple of weeks before my July 23rd ET exchange surgery, so I would not lay any blames if I didn't get a response in time to look at what the different outcomes could be.

    Secondly, I may have got a response, and just din't know where to look for it (), but I do appreciate the work you ladies do.

    I'll keep checking though, as reconstruction seems like a long journey for some of us.

    Thanks.


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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited August 2019

    Oh, goodness, Lilah, I hope Nowheregirl is okay. Her being out of touch with you for so long is worrisome.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited August 2019

    Yes, it is. I'm worried! But I have no other way of reaching her. So here's hoping she is just super busy.

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  • famousthecat
    famousthecat Member Posts: 35
    edited September 2019
    • Oh wow, sorry, I just PMed you, Lilah, asking for access after not hearing from nowheregirl on my last request. I wonder if the site should unpin this thread if the picture forum is no longer an option? I was really glad to see it way back in late July when I was diagnosed, but if it's not usable at all, it feels like false hope and a lot of waiting around for people hoping to get some help.
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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited September 2019

    All anyone has to do is read this thread.

    Or write to me.

    Since I am just a helper, its not my place to do anything else.

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  • hodgepodge
    hodgepodge Member Posts: 92
    edited September 2019

    Just chiming in to say I hope everything is ok with nowheregirl! Thanks for the update Lilah!

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  • Micmel
    Micmel Member Posts: 9,450
    edited September 2019

    her history shows she hasn’t logged into her account since April of 2019. I hope hope she’s ok.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited September 2019

    Please spread the word. There will be no new members added for the foreseeable future.

    Thanks,

    Lilah

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  • quiltrunner
    quiltrunner Member Posts: 101
    edited November 2019

    is there a way to reset my password in the picture forum?

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited December 2019

    Hi Quiltrunner,

    Unfortunately, the only way to reset your password on the Picture Forum is through Nowheregirl, who has not responded to messages since June.

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  • whippetmom
    whippetmom Member Posts: 6,920
    edited December 2019

    Hi Lilah:

    There is something to address, if members of the Pic Forum who have photos posted, cannot gain access to them any longer. I think that if you can verify that they have been a member, you could send them the password? I would be glad to assist with that. I have not been there for eons, and I do not have the password either. Is there someone who can take over the forum? We all posted photos there to HELP OTHERS! Not to have it sealed up like a vault. So no new members have been admitted since June? Or earlier?

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  • whippetmom
    whippetmom Member Posts: 6,920
    edited December 2019

    We should have had someone take over the forum when we had the chance, five or so years ago.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited December 2019

    Current members can still access the forum with their own user name and pw (plus the global user name and pw), but my admin capabilities were always limited to access to an admin page for communication purposes only. I have no ability to change anyone's password nor to find out what their passwords were. I never did. And it may come to pass soon that the site - without Nowheregirl to renew payments to keep it up and running (and I have no way of knowing what she is doing in that regard since she has stopped communicating) - will be shut down.

    I CAN verify if someone is a current member and I'm happy to send those who are current members the global user name and PW if they have forgotten it. But in order to confirm they are current members still, they need to send me the user name they registered with. And once reminded of the global user name and PW, they cannot access the site UNLESS they also recall their private user name and PW.

    And yes that is correct: no new members since June. And I don't think anyone else taking over was ever an option. As it is, only Nowhere Girl has ever had real control.

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  • whippetmom
    whippetmom Member Posts: 6,920
    edited December 2019

    Lilah, one member a number of years ago, said she would be willing to take over the forum. It was when Nowheregirl was wanting to close down the site, stating it was costing her a certain amount of money yearly to maintain the site. It was a small amount and when this OP (a website developer) was serious and said she would take it over and make it more user friendly, Nowheregirl decided she would stay on as administrator.Members then started donating to keep the site going. I think it was something like $100 a year...or maybe even less - like $50 a year.I think our donations covered the costs for a decade.

    Since I have forgotten my password....could you send it to me please?

    Thank you!

    Deborah

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  • bikefam
    bikefam Member Posts: 127
    edited December 2019

    I just tried to go to the picture forum and got Error 404 Not found. I was there a few weeks ago and got on. I check it periodically because it was so helpful a few years ago when I was going through my reconstruction.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited December 2019

    Deborah I have no idea what your password is and no way to find out. The way Nowheregirl set this up, only she had control. All I did was help people to get registered. The only access I had (which is what you had when you were helping) was to an admin page which existed solely for communication with Nowheregirl about new members. Yes we all did make periodic donations to keep the site going, but she kept her control of the site absolute. Only she was able to retrieve or reset a lost password. Only she could grant access once the first step of registration was done.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited December 2019

    I'm sorry to hear that, Bikefam. It is likely that Nowheregirl stopped paying to keep the site going since she has been non-responsive for 6 months. I don't know. I haven't tried recently to access the site but last time I tried it was working.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited December 2019

    And Deborah, I will add: Nowheregirl NEVER wanted anyone else to take over. It was never really an option. Someone may have offered, but as you recall her response to that was to create a donation link and invite others to help. Several started helping, including you and me. One helper died. The rest dropped out / stopped helping. I was the only one helping her for years. I have no idea what has happened. She did not communicate to me at any time that she was thinking of quitting. I fear it may be worse than that. Six months is a long time to say nothing. And the error message is an indication that the site has not been renewed. Absolutely anyone can and should feel free to start a new site if they wish.

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited December 2019

    Lilah, do you know Nowheregirl's full name? Is there anyway you can do a search on her? What you said, "She did not communicate to me at any time that she was thinking of quitting. I fear it may be worse than that." is what worries me too. After being so involved with BCO and the picture forum for 14 years, through various problems that she had, for her to completely drop off the radar is frightening. It's a shame to lose the picture forum, and I am concerned about the pictures being out there on the internet (hopefully the pics are securely locked in a server, never to be seen again unless the site is revived by Nowheregirl), but I too fear worse.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited December 2019

    I only know her first name. I never had need to know more because we communicated via an admin page.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited January 2020

    I know this isn't the same as the Picture Forum, but the images on Vinnie Myer's tattoo site (he has a ton of photos of nipple and areola tattoos on reconstructed breasts) are better than nothing. So I'm sharing here for those who might find these images helpful.

    http://vinniemyers.com/section/105672_Nipple_Areola_Tattooing.html

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  • Charlotte4566
    Charlotte4566 Member Posts: 1
    edited March 2020

    whippetmom: that is a good idea, to make it a non-respondable topic .

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