Worried, scared, and need words of encouragement

I just turned 40, and a mother to three kiddos. About 6 months ago I went for my annual check-up, my doctored mentioned thickening on my left breast and what she said felt like a ridge. I personally never felt any difference in my breast, but her finding quickly turned into me getting a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound.

Fortunately what my doctor was concerned about turned out to be normal breast tissue, and unfortunately my mammogram showed an area of architectural distortion in a totally different array. This meant biopsy and removal of the area. I was given a braid score of 4.

I was elated when my biopsy came back benign. However my radiologist and breast surgeon felt removal and biopsy was the best course of action. So we set a date for my savi scout to be placed and for surgery.

This is where my world turns upside down.

*Trigger*

My surgery was outpatient and should have taken only about 45 mins to complete. Durning surgery I went into anaphylactic shock ( or some other reaction but it is noted as allergic in my documents). My surgeon had just made the incision when it occurred. We are still not sure what caused the reaction, but my routine lumpectomy was quickly aborted and they worked on bringing me back. I spent the night in the hospital for observation, barely missing a stay in ICU.

During my post op visit ( still had to recover from the incision) my surgeon and I discussed just monitoring the area and to work with an allergist to see what the trigger could be. The only way my radiologist would feel comfortable with this scenario is if I had an MRI and follow up mammogram, and there was no change to the area. Absolutely! If that meant not having to go through surgery again!

Well... I had the MRI and good news there is no change in the architectural distortion. However the MRI picked up a non mass-like enhancement 13mm. In the same breast Braid score of 4. So I'm back into the realm of biopsies and potential surgery. MRI guided biopsy is set for next week and a visit with the allergist today to discuss local anesthetics, we think lidocaine might be the culprit.

I'm absolutely beside myself. There is no other way to put it. My anxiety is crippling and I just can't grasp my mind around why this is happening.

If you have taken the time to read one of the chapters from my life novel, thank you. I'm just in the need of encouraging words and positive vibes. I'm cautiously hopeful that things will work out for the good but these past six months have been a roller coaster that I’m ready to come off of.