Not Feeling “Blessed”

Dearest Mrs. M,

At the risk of sounding corny, I do not feel "blessed" either, but I do feel I have many blessings, and I count you as one of them. Like others have said, whenever I see your name pop up I always read your posts, regardless of the thread. I think we may both be married to the same man, ha ha! My dh is like yours, all is good or bad, black or white, and god forbid you should ever change your mind! I have found your posts regarding your dh especially helpful. I recall one in which you said something to the effect of not expecting him to supply emotional support that was not in his nature to give. I phrased this poorly, your post said it much better, and it was so very helpful to me in what I expect or don't expect from my dh.

I feel badly that you have had such a rough year. This time last year, I had my 2nd progression while you had your 1st, and I have to say although I was shocked by mine, I felt even more shock and sadness at yours. I was so certain you would be like Heidihill, Tina, or Caryn and stay NEAD. (Not trying to jinx anybody, hope you gals stay NEAD forever!) This may be out of line, but I question your mo's choice of drugs. Why Aromasin and not Faslodex? Aromasin was the least favorite of my tx so far. And if Verzenio has you feeling so crappy, maybe a change is in order, even if it is working. We shouldn't have to soldier through every last treatment if the ses are intolerable.

I am so sorry your husband was forced into early retirement. It has happened to so many people in their 50's and 60's, just when retirement was around the corner and retraining for another career seems pointless. The bitterness you feel toward his ex-employer is normal and common. Ditto for the lies those companies tell when they want to reduce payroll and insurance by getting rid of older, well paid employees. If misery loves company, you've got it.

No getting around it, medical insurance and treatment costs are exorbitant. But if you can lower your income next year you should be able to qualify for help for those horrible copays. I wonder if you could qualify for help by making the case that your income is lower now in spite of what your 2019 tax return will show. My specialty pharmacy has been instrumental in finding copay relief for me, have you tried speaking to someone at your spec pharm? DH and I were frugal and lived well below our means. Since having MBC, I question the wisdom of that (how many fun trips could we have taken without worrying whether or not I would be up for it?), but I am grateful that we can pay the high medical costs without going broke.

If the Powers That Be rewarded or punished us based on our actions, you would be doubly blessed Mrs. M. But in an indifferent universe, all we can do is hope. I hope 2020 will be much kinder to you. Love, hugs, and wishes for many good things to come dearest Mrs M.

Jo

Dear Divine, so glad to hear you are lightening your load--very wise. Think I might follow your example. I pay the same thing for my Verzenio. Ouch,but glad to be able to get it.