Breast Cancer and Gall Bladder Stones

Confusedgirl, I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in 2003 and a year later my breast surgeon removed my gallbladder due to stones. One of the women who worked in her office had the same. Not sure if there is a link. I thought it was due to chemo, but clearly that isn't the case with your mother. I was also diagnosed with breast cancer again last December.

I am sure your mother has her reasons for not being treated, but why continue to see doctors and have testing if you aren't going to do anything? You can show her my response if you like, I am not going to mince words but doing nothing is like a death wish. Please know that her cancer will spread to her internal organs and will eventually break through her breast becoming open wounds! Death from untreated breast cancer will not be painless or quick! Her attitude is a slap in the face of all stage four women who are desperately trying to stay alive! Again, if she doesn’t want treatment, stop monitoring the cancer! That’s like looking out the window at a tornado heading straight for you and not moving away from it

If fear is what is keeping her from treatment, or money, lack of insurance, etc, than there IS help available! Ask for help! She, or you, can post on this message board or go through local agencies but help IS available!

I would have to ask the doctor who wrote her the script for the ultrasound, what the _____ did he think that was accomplishing?

Again, I don’t mean to be harsh and I respect a persons thoughtful choice, but that is not what your mother is doing. There is obviously more to this than a simple refusal of treatment.

Honestly, why care about gallstones? That is not a big deal, refusing treatment for cancer IS a big deal!

I wish you luck.

How old is your Mother? Even more important, has anyone talked to her about what SHE wants? Maybe she's content with her life and willing to let go.

confusedgirl, I am so sorry your Mom is not strong enough to have a biopsy. As others have said the cancer will eat her flesh leaving open areas that will become necrotic and the drainage will be terrible. Not to mention the odor. Does she really want to go through that?

Confusedgirl, your mom is WAY too young to die willingly, but you are right, you can't make her do anything to save her life.

Just a thought, why not approach it from the other “side?" Try asking her if she has everything in order, what her preferences are for her death, etc. viewing, burial, cremation? She should get a power of attorney if she hasn't done so yet and fill out a living will so when she goes to the hospital she can decide not to be resuscitated. If she gets upset, perhaps reality is what she needs! If not, knowing her wishes prior to death is a huge benefit for those left behind.

She has options, Maybe seeing a social worker, a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Being traumatized is not a good enough reason to harm herself and that is what she is doing! My sister had breast cancer and lymphoma at the same time! She fought like hell, but ended up with a third cancer caused by her treatments, MDS, and it killed her. Less than 1% of cancer patients get MDS, but she was the unlucky one. I can only wish she had the opportunity to save herself like your mom has.

I had breast cancer twice and I never once felt I would end up like my sister, but if I ever do, at least my family will know I did everything I could to live! I know first hand how hard it is to see someone you love die of cancer!

Don't give up or give in! I think she is so afraid, perhaps she thinks she should have died and not your uncle? I know I wouldn't stop putting pressure on my mom if she had been in that situation. By the way, my mom had breast cancer too, also another sister!

Like I said, if she really wants to die, than at least she should get her wishes in order.

Is your father alive and with her? I get the feeling he is not?

Confused - Elaine is correct. Each chemo has different side effects. Once you know the proposed treatment, you can research each drug on this site. If she is HER2+, the standard treatment is usually chemo first.

Where does your Mother live? Different countries might have different protocols. If she is still refusing any treatment or biopsy as your initial post stated, how will the docs decide on which chemo? And has your mother approved?

OK - Have they done the biopsy? What were the results?

Please let us know what the doctor is recommending for a treatment plan. If she is HER2+, she may have chemo before surgery (neoadjuvant).