How to Get Through the Right Now.

In remission does repeating "i dont have cancer help or hurt. Can it change your mind, or intensify your feelings? Thank you

After initially trying Xanax and quitting then crashing again because I was afraid of addiction my PCP basically ordered me to take Klonopin for a year along with an antidepressant. When I told him I was worried about addiction. He said “I DON’T care about you getting addicted. We’ll deal with that if we have to. You need this (anxiety med). “

I stayed on it a full year and came off it with no issues. I was better by then. That was the turning point for me. Pulling out of this is so hard. You need help from your doctors. These feeling are real.

I definitely needed Ativan in the early days, to get some rest and be able to function. I thought about antidepressants at that time, too, but the hospital social worker recommended waiting until after the surgery to see how I felt. I'm not sure it was necessary to wait - I had used meds before, and it was easy to go back on them when I did a few weeks after surgery. It definitely helped with the crying jags.

It takes several months (2-3 months for some, 6-12 months for others) to get through the shock, the surprise of mortality, and the grief. Oh, those stages of grief... Denial, anger, bargaining, depression... (and sometimes a second loop)...then acceptance.

I think at some point you realize cancer is robbing you of enjoyment now, for all the fear of the future. Then you say, F--- cancer, and try not to worry about it more than you have to. In the early days, you have to research and make decisions, and it can drive you nuts. Having a plan helps - you just focus on your plan and try not to think about anything else. Those moments when you're on a break from treatment help, too.

Surgery can throw your body for a loop. The drugs can make you quite depressed, I've found, as if the trauma and fatigue aren't good enough! Anyway, I'd explore an antidepressant if you are just feeling down all the time; Ativan if you are nervous and heart-racing and can't sleep. Definitely talk to your doctor or your treatment center's social worker, because you shouldn't have to feel this way. There are things they can do for you.

One book I read a few years ago that has helped me get through several health issues is Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat Zinn. It helped me balance dealing with crises, and still living life.

I wish I had been offered Ativan sooner. Just knowing I had it in case of a panic attack calmed me and I had no addiction problem. However, I didn’t use it daily, just sporadically.

I agree with all that are encouraging you to consider medication. I have taken anti-depressants in the past and have had an open Rx for Xanex for over 30 yrs. I probably have never taken more than 40 Xanax/yr but just knowing it’s there helps with managing anxiety. It’s also important to remember this is a trauma and processing it is not linear.....emotions/responses jump all over the place. Take good care and trust you will get through this