Guilt

Kelly, I do understand. I was dx in Nov 05 with IDC although mine was invasive, 3 out of 11 nodes, Stage 2B. I had a lumpectomy and breast reduction. My treatments were more aggressive I had the full chemo, full rads and now on Tamox. But I still did not have a mascectomy. I remember first reading the boards and I felt the same as you, kinda guilty. I've gotten over that. None of us asked for bc and we sure didn't specify what kind we wanted. I am apt to end up having a mascectomy later on, who knows? No matter how aggressive anybodys bc was we all heard those dreaded words and live in fear. I say you were lucky not to have chemo & full rads but that doesn't mean you didn't have bc just like all of us on here. You & I didn't go through the trauma of losing our breasts but we still had cancer. I was just as terrified as anybody on these boards at my dx and I'm sure you were too. And it's even crossed my mind that maybe I should have had a masc. so perhaps I would have less chance of reoccurence. But I've come to terms with that and I'm ok with it. Don't let yourself feel guilty anymore.

cheri

Kelly - I think you have normal feelings. I had DCIS treated with a bilat mast and radiation. I feel like I got a free pass compared to all of the women - some my close friends - who endured chemo or have to struggle with the side effects of Tamox or herceptin.

I remind myself to celebrate my free pass and try to make a difference in the fight against BC. I participate in some fund raising events.

You had been fighting a big battle. Don't make it bigger than you need to!

Best wishes - sandy

Hi girls - BC is BC is BC!!! Our journey may be different, but they belong to us. It is not a competition. It stinks no matter what. I happen to be one of the gals who had the whole 9 yards of treatment - double mastectomy, chemo, rads, ooph, Arimidex. Yes, there are days that I am jealous of gals who did not have such treatments but then I am greatful that they did not have to endure it all. My journey does not dimish someone elses. As my dd who is turning 9 said, one day there will be a cure (or even better prevention) and no one else will have to journey through BC. Till then, we need to honor each other and honor our own feelings. There is no right or wrong with feelings, although some do make us feel better!!! Women, especially mothers have enough guilt, please don't make yourself feel guilty because you had it 'easy" through treatment. Okay its time for me to get off my soapbox. karen in denver

I also feel guilt--I had a mastectomy and am living with METS. I have been so fortunate that hormone therapy is keeping me stable. I feel badly when I hear about women whose diagnosis was "better" than mine having to go through so much with chemo and it not having a good effect on the cancer.

I truly am always happy to hear good news here on the boards. Sure, sometimes I DO get a little jealous and wish I was the one with the good news. More often hearing about others' triumphs over this awful disease gives me encouragement and hope. If I had not read the numerous threads about women whose METS have left them, I would not even know NED was possible!

Please try not to feel guilty! You have every right to be appreciative that you have been spared things like a more difficult diagnosis/prognosis or treatment plan!!

I read a post here by a women that was angry she had been through so much and found out it wasn't cancer. You know what? I could understand her, too...it did NOT make me angry at her. It made me angry at this stupid disease that is so confusing and sneaky. It made me angry that there is no one thing that we know will work against breast cancer like an antibiotic will work against strep throat.

Please do post positive things when you have something to share! You cannot know how a single statement might have a huge impact on someone--offering them hope and reassurance.

We (women in general) need to get over guilt. It serves no purpose and is unwarranted in any case.

I had a lumpectomy that you can't tell and have not had chemo. Treatment has been relatively easy and not many side effects. I don't feel guilty that others have had it harder - feel bad for them but not guilty. I woudn't feel guilty if someone else had to have a root canal, BC treatments are the same.

Every woman with cancer (regardless of stage or tx) has a right to bitch and moan - this sucks. There's really no benefit to comparing your battle to anyone else's, they are all unique and are all hard, no matter how easy they look to the outsider.