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  • jasmine
    jasmine Member Posts: 1,286
    edited May 2008
    Hang in there Jpann. It is almost over...the finish line is in sight. You will soon find your new normal and life will be good again, different, but good.

    Of course you are allowed to be down. It would be unrealistic if you weren't down sometimes. I see the 'being positive' thing as more of a 'big picture' attitude. There are going to be battles that get you down but you can still win the war.

    Overall, I think you have a great attitude. LIFE WILL BE GOOD AGAIN! Believe it!
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  • PJF42
    PJF42 Member Posts: 24
    edited March 2007
    Hey jpann - do not apologize for being down! We are all entitled to it when we need it! I think it helps us be more positive and it is all part of the healing process! It must feel great to see the end. I'm still waiting for my Oncodx results so I can make my decision about chemo -- see, I haven't even begun the part of the journey that you are ending! Let yourself have your down moments! Us positive girls all know that they don't last long!
    Pam
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  • jacksmom5-2006Oct14
    jacksmom5-2006Oct14 Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2007
    Jpann,
    As the others have said - don't feel bad about feeling down. It is frustrating when you get so close to the end and something blocks the way. I am sure they will figure out something that will work and you will be done.

    Good luck today.
    Hugs,
    Sue
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  • QueenSansaStark
    QueenSansaStark Member Posts: 207
    edited March 2007

    Jule - do NOT apologize! Everyone, even us Positive Girls, is allowed their down time to just vent. It's more honest to let it all out. Positive doesn't mean denial!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    Thank you everyone.....just the pick me up I needed today...you all are wonderful, Im very fortunate to have met you all....

    Ya, I know they will fix it and that Im whinning about something so little...Im sure when I get there today they will have something figured out and I wont even miss a single treatment...

    Im not sure why such a little thing put me down in the dumps, but it sure seemed to do it.....

    Again, thanks to all of you....
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  • fireba
    fireba Member Posts: 59
    edited March 2007
    I don't think that's strange, Jule. Sometimes I think we work so hard to handle the "big picture" that it's a little, insignificant detail that really trips us up. For me, today, it was the cable company. (Couldn't she just be nice to me on the phone? Doesn't she know I have more to worry about?!) I think you're doing great - you brought all us PGs together, after all!

    I'm going to run out of positive things before Friday, but here goes: I took my SNB bandages off today and had a shower. That was nice! Everything looks good, except for the enormous bruise under my arm, which of course will go away. And the fact that, well, my girls don't seem to match anymore! The one that had the lumpectomy and re-excision is definitely perkier than the other - less tissue to hold up, I guess! Oh, well. In a bra and under a shirt no one will know!
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  • fireba
    fireba Member Posts: 59
    edited March 2007

    Oh, and I keep forgetting my other positive thing: yesterday/today is my 31st birthday (Leap Year Baby!) and we're having a party on Saturday! The theme of the party is Forbidden Foods - all the things I'm not supposed to eat on chemo (like unpasteurized cheese - how will I live??).

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  • linny
    linny Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2007
    Jpann, I just finished skimming your blog (I read the most recent entry throughout) - very well said, and relevant to all of us. I have often had similar feelings.

    Linda
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    Wow, I didnt realize so many have that happen.....its seems like such a trivial thing but dang it kicked my butt!!!!!!
    I think like my daughter said....Ive been so busy being big, bad and brave trying to get from point A to B and make everyone believe Im ok that I got whalloped out of the blue....
    But my positive for today: IT WILL SOON BE FRIDAY

    Again thanks to all of you.....
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    and dont think I didnt see that fireba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • jasmine
    jasmine Member Posts: 1,286
    edited May 2008

    Julie, where is your blog?

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  • Darcy45
    Darcy45 Member Posts: 55
    edited March 2007
    Jule, your journey is almost over! How awesome is that.
    You will have days now and then where you will feel overwhelmed. As time goes on they are few and far between

    You know, they had a tough time positioning me for my boost as well. My tumor was 3:00 on my left breast so I was in a very uncomfortable, awkward position. The way they had me on that table I felt like I was posing for Play Boy magazine or something, sheeeeesh!

    They'll figure something out and you will be just fine.

    Fireba, have a very Happy Birthday! You've got a lot of living to do!
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  • beth1225
    beth1225 Member Posts: 1,061
    edited March 2007
    Fireba, Happy Birthday! I found this little guy delivering a special rose for your day!
    image
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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2007
    Happy Birthday, Sara!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    AlwaysHope,
    Im not sure what Linny is talking about "blog?" I think maybe she is referring to my post on this web site, since Im not even sure what a blog is....

    Now Im so embarassed.....I totally freaked myself out over the treatment thing today.....I got there an everything was fine...they were able to make something to fit me and I was in/out of there even before my actually appt time....Im such a ditzy thing sometimes and Im not even blonde ....

    Thank you ladies for being there today...
    Hugs
    Jule
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    I also feel really, really bad...I had myself soooo freaked today that I forgot to wish Skeetur a safe journey for her surgery tomarrow ......I hope she knows that we were all with her and that we will be awaiting her post to let us know she how she is doing...

    Skeetur if you see this before you go.......We are ALL with you on your big day.....post when you feel up to it and be good to yourself!!!!!!!!

    Love
    Jule & all the PGC members
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    Here we are again, another Positive Friday ....the weeks just seem like they are flying by....I have #2 boost today out of ten so that is a positive, getting closer to the day I will be done....

    But my positive for this week is that a friend is driving down from Spokane (2 1/2 hrs drive) to take me to my treatment then we will go antique shopping for something new/old for my china hutch (I LOVE deep dark cobalt blue)....then off to dinner....then Saturday he wants to go to the local ski lodge for lunch....neither of us have been up there for years....Ive been looking forward to this outing all week.....

    He was diagnosed with prostrate cancer before xmas and will have surgery 3/5....he has been extremely anxious about the surgery....I was furious when I asked if he was taking anything for the anxiety....his Drs. hadnt even mentioned anything to him even though he told them he was having trouble with it...but anyway after we talked he spoke with the Dr. and they prescribed something for him, he said it has helped alot.

    Those are my positives for this week....how about the rest of you? Whats going on in your lives????

    Hugs to all
    Jule
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    Ok what gives???? Is there something wrong with my computer???

    I dont see a single post here from our group today!!!!!!!

    Come on girls we can ALWAYS find something to post that is positive even if we've had the worst week of our lives.....

    Looking forward to seeing whats going on with everyone this week!!!!
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  • QueenSansaStark
    QueenSansaStark Member Posts: 207
    edited March 2007
    Positives for today:

    It's a beautiful, sunny, anticipating-spring day out.

    I saw a bluebird! I don't know if it's the Bluebird of Happiness, but I know it was a western bluebird.

    Reading all the inspirational stories on this site makes me feel a lot better.
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  • Darcy45
    Darcy45 Member Posts: 55
    edited March 2007
    Okay, my positives. I'm going to dinner with my wonderful husband of 25 years! It is a gorgeous day here in NJ. My brother and his family are coming for a vist, as well as my daughter popping in from college! Really, can life get any better?

    Have a great week-end everyone and God bless!
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  • beth1225
    beth1225 Member Posts: 1,061
    edited March 2007
    One positive thing is that although the basement got water in it this morning, we managed to get the area rug (which is wool) up before it got wet AND the water did not go all over, just a little bit.

    I got to babysit the grandkids this week for three days in a row. I am exhausted! How many times can one 4 year old watch Godzilla??? I love watching Larry with his grandsons. He adores them and they love him too. The little one has such a good laugh when you tickle him or he thinks he got away with something. Tonight we are all going bowling and it should be fun. Life is good this week, even with a head cold.
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  • bandit
    bandit Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2007

    Hello again my positive thing for this week Iam back to work until I have my hisderectomy which is not for a couple of months.Was just going to have overies out but now doing the whole thing.Three cancers i won't have to worry about.I'm pretty nervous about it but what can you do its got to be done it will make me feel better once its done.I't felt great to be back to work been a little tierd the last couple nights but its a good tierd if you know what i mean.Hope you ladys have a great week. Be back next Friday.All the best to all of you's.Even though i have'nt met any of you ladys i pray for you's every night.Bye for now. Sheila

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  • kative
    kative Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2007
    Bad news is we had a pretty good snow storm here in Minnesota, GOOD NEWS is my boss cancelled work for the day!!! I got my last doctor's appointment before surgery taken care of today, so now I can just relax (?!?) until next Thursday. My mom gets here Monday for nursing duties, and that will be nice. I have a great hubby and daughter, and the cutest dog on the planet (OK I might get some arguement on that one, but he loves me as much as the hubby and daughter...Overall, a great week.
    All my best to you all...Kathi
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  • jacksmom5-2006Oct14
    jacksmom5-2006Oct14 Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2007
    My positive for the week is my daughter who is a junior at the University of Michigan was home for spring break so we got to spend some time together. We went walking this morning at the mall - she thought we were going to stroll and she could window shop - she was quite surprised by how fast I walk. Tomorrow we are going down to Chicago and pick up my oldest son who is a graduate student and go out for lunch. Just wish the weather would get better - so sick of snow here in Wisconsin. Where is spring?
    Wishing everyone a great weekend.

    Sue
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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2007
    We out here on Pacific time have to chime in later with our Friday positives, but never fear!
    My positives:
    - It was nearly 75deg. and blissfully sunny today and I actually felt up to doing some yardwork out back. Tomorrow, the front yard!{it's upposed to be even warmer}
    - My best friend who moved to Idaho a few years ago called to say that she has talked to her husband and they have agreed that she can come here to do nurse-duty for one of my chemo cycles. Just seeing her incandescent smile is a lift to me, so having her here again for several days will be a huge blessing!
    - My port finally doesn't hurt anymore!
    - I have two new books
    - Tomorrow is my birthday and my daughter is treating me to dinner.

    Lots of good stuff this week!
    Lisa
    ps - Jule - I love cobalt blue, also. It's my favorite color so I have several old pieces of cobalt glass, too.
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  • beth1225
    beth1225 Member Posts: 1,061
    edited March 2007
    Happy almost birthday Lisa! Have a great weekend!
    image
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    My Positives for Friday

    I got my last drain removed.
    I got my stitches removed from my mastectomy site.
    My PET scan came back clear! That was the last test to search for cancer (had CT, bone scan, MRI, bloodwork, and chest xrays already)!!
    My friend came from out of town to spend the weekend with me in case I got more bad news (cuz I live alone).
    I am so happy!
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  • 1stlite
    1stlite Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2007
    Oh, I'm late again. Postive for this week - path came back clean. I didn't know if I would have a positive yesterday. First surgeon calls and says, everything clean. Them my doc calls with a totally opposite story. But finally found out the file my doc had did not have full results and no notes that more tests were pending. Ahhhh, computers. But it ends up - HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE

    charlie

    This will only make us stronger!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    CrystalCat....I love watching the birds outside....especially love to hear them sing in the morning.....seeing a bluebird would brighten my day....

    Darcy45...wow, having all that family in town together will be wonderful...I love my family gatherings....

    beth1225....I have a total of 6 grandkids myself....I love nothing more than to see them smile and hear their giggles....life is sweet with them....I hope the water in the basement didnt do too much damage...thats such a mess to clean up...

    bandit...Im happy that you finally got back to work...I have worked the entire time through all this...I wasnt brave enough to stay home with myself all those hours!!!!!

    kative..it is such a relief to get everything scheduled....try to relax as much as you can (I know thats hard), but we will all be with you thursday and things will be just fine....I once had a dog that was the ugliest thing Ive ever seen but to me he wasnt...I loved him and he loved me....thats all that counted..Im glad mom with be there to help you, just remember to be good to yourself!!!!

    Suz56....spending time with family is such a wonderful thing!!! hmmmm, the spring question....I think many of us are asking that very same thing!!!!! but my theory (for what its worth)...if I had to have something like BC Im glad that it showed up in the winter....(not that Im glad I had it)....but for me spring is a focus point....by the time spring gets here I will have completed treatment and be raring to go when the sunshine hits ....

    LisaSDCA....Cobalt blue, a lady after my own heart ....you have so many positives this week that Im not sure where to start....but will finishing by saying...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, your wonderful and I know your b-day will be too....

    MissShapen....Now THAT is what I call a POSITIVE week!!!!!!! Way to go girl!!!!

    1stlite....You dance a jig for days over that girl....and we are all dancing with you....

    You ladies are WONDERFUL....you are all such an inspiration to keep this post going.....I look forward to hearing from each of you every week like this....It has been such a help with fighting off stress for me.....when this last week started for me I wasnt sure I would have anything positive to post on Friday, I posted on this site and you were all there to pick me up, swat my butt and tell me to stop whining, that everything would be ok....it made me stop to think how much I have to be grateful for and that there is something positive every single day of my life.....

    Will check in again with you all throughout the week....
    Hugs
    Jule
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    Ok, Ok I know its not Friday but I just had to tell you all the positive that just happened for me.....

    I just checked my personal email and I had an email from a sister that has evidentally been reading my post on this site....she told me her experience with bc and where she is at in treamtent right now....she has gone through alot...I dont know if she posts here or just reads but it felt soooooo good to know that my posts here have helped someone......

    So far to date, that is the best positive that I have had since starting my bc journey.....I came to this website needing someone to understand, someone I could share with and feel comfortable talking about my worst fears with and what did I find????? that there are SO many out there for me that I immediately felt cacooned in their warmth and caring.....If my posting here gives someone that feeling then I dont know what more I could ask for.....Im not sure I will ever be able to beat that as a positive.....just wanted to share with you all...
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