Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?

LaureninPHX thank you, it's my son who had liver cancer, he's my youngest. Very happy to report he is well now, age 17.

SantaB I love that quote from Gloria Steinem, so true!

Actually, it was Florence or Florynce Kennedy, but published in a very early issue of Ms. Magazine, edited by Gloria Steinam. (Pedants United. 😉🌺😆

I can't seem to get the ending paren to add to the phrase ending with emojis after Pedants Unite, so we may have an air conditioned paragraph hanging out there...)

A friend told me about a colleague picking up his child (4 yrs old) from daycare at Easter time and the teacher was waiting for him and said in a stern voice, “he got into trouble today”. Dad asked for details and was told that when discussing the resurrection the child said, “you mean Jesus was a ZOMBIE?” Dad responded:” He’s 4. What he knows about dead people who come back to life is that they’re called Zombies so it seems like a reasonable question to me.” 😂. Out of the mouths of babes...

Great answer!! Yes, I wonder what kind of “trouble” too. Probably scared the kid and started his fear of god indoctrination. Sad.

If I am reading the scan right I think it is contained in my lymph neck nodes although it could be on the other side too. If it is I don’t know that they will do the surgery but I will kick and scream if I have to. I want them OUT! I hope to find out tomorrow, because the waiting is really making me insane. At least I started the Faslodex so something is happening.

For now I’m just grateful that my caffeine withdrawal headache has finally gone away after a caffeine pill, two Excedrin, 2 diet cokes, and an iced tea.

I was scheduled for jury duty for last summer. I got it delayed until fall due to the lumpectomy and planned radiation. Then a scan showed I had kidney cancer and that got scheduled for September. Luckily, my hubby works in the court system for the presiding judge, who decided to play it safe and give me a three-year pass on jury duty. Glad to have that, but kind of a crappy way to get out of it!

The crappiest way for sure, Alice. Boy you’ve really been through it huh? I’m sorry to hear that.

SantaB, when I went through the first round, I had chemo before the mastectomy. He did a scan about halfway through and it had “somewhat reduced in size.” It freaked me out. I figured that if the strongest chemo at the time TAC wasn’t seriously killing it, I couldn’t wait for them to cut it out! I’m afraid ofthe same thing happening. I hope they’ll say they can tell if it’s working by tumor markers and if I don’t progress. Pleaseohpleaseohplease!

I received a PERMANENT disqualification from jury duty today. YAHOO!

Still waiting on results from Tuesday's PET scan. The doctor had an out of town emergency and she was just getting back in town this afternoon, but the nurse assured me I would know something today. Still. Waiting. I got the disc, and from what I can tell, it's still only in my neck, but it looks like it could be more widespread in my neck than I thought, so that's why I am thinking she may 86 the node removal surgery and currently shitting bricks. And have been for three days. And will continue to do until she calls. 

Will update with news, hopefully soon. 

Here's hoping there's an easily-tolerated treatment that will help, Lauren.

Cry until you sleep.

True, absolutely True

So....the judge giving Amber Guyger a bible and a brainwashing speech...wtf? I'm all for more compassion and pep talks from judges, but this was waaaaay over the line. If it was me, well, it would probably never be me, but if it was me and the judge said that, wouldn't I have to take it, say thank you, hug her and all that even though I think it's ridiculous, or be afraid of legal repercussions? Or bring even more media attention and public outrage to myself? So inappropriate. (Don't even get me started on the sentencing...)

Interesting point Lauren. My immediate response was I'd just leave the bible on the bar. Then I got to thinking about possible repercussions from the judiciary. Hmmm.

Separation of church and state is in serious jeopardy, SantaB.

Leave it on the bar, lol. Ballsy move-I like it.

Yes Wanderweg! It didn't occur to me to take legal action until I read about that. Being in the Bible Belt I just assumed that's what is accepted as normal, but it shouldn't be.

Yes the waiting is hard. I'm not dwelling necessarily but I'm unable to focus, so I'm not doing much of anything. It's hard to work when I can't focus so I have stopped trying until tomorrow. I have two games to listen to today so I'll be occupied tonight.

I don't know what to do tomorrow. Do I call and demand my records first thing? Do I wait for her to call? Do I drive 45 minutes to the imaging place to get them? Ugh. These are the things that make me crazy and exhausted.

Cancer is not good for over thinkers.

I agree with the infantilizing. I didn't know I could talk to the MD at the imaging center. I might have to try that too.

When I see her on the 14th, I need to explain what kind of person I am so we can get on the same page. 

1) I'm a planner - "Go with the flow" is not how I operate, never has been. "Let's just be spontaneous!" is how all my nightmares start. 

2) I'm a big girl.- I learned how to read a long time ago. I can read a report, I can even Google the words I don't understand. I need the results sent to me immediately, and then she can call me at her earliest convenience. No more waiting days for results, no more special office visits just for results. I've got better things to do with my time. If I have questions, I'll ask when she calls or call for an appointment. 

3) I'm highly independent. - I don't need anyone to sit with me and hold my hand (yet). I can handle the results whatever they may be. I know what Stage IV means, I know where I'm headed, and I'm going to be a part of the treatment that keeps me from that point for as long as possible. Take care of the patients who need the hand holding and extra support - for now, I'm fine with learning on my own. 

4) I'm educating myself, so get used to a lot of questions. - Not that I don't trust her, but I need to be a part of my treatment, so I will be doing research on my own to make sure I understand what is happening. No blind following of doctor's orders for me. If that's a problem, I need to find another doctor. 

5) If you say you're praying for me, that's my sign to exit. (I won't say that but I'll be thinking it.)

I will be slightly more tactful that that, but I need to get my point across, because this waiting fuckery is way, way too stressful and a waste of my numbered days.