In Memorium: Lita57

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Lita57
Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
edited April 2022 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

This is Lita's daughter Mica. It is with both relief and sadness that I must report that yesterday morning Lita went home to be with her Lord and Savior. Her long fought cancer battle finally came to a peaceful end surrounded by family and friends.

This site was a source of strength and community for my mother, especially those posting here in the Stage IV/Metastatic threads. Since my mother's initial diagnosis she experienced some alienation and "ghosting" from people closest to her, so it was a huge relief to find this niche to talk frankly about her trials and tribulations. Mom would fondly and frequently tell me about many users she had befriended, and diligently checked in as much as she could.

My mother's account will remain open to archive her contributions to this incredible community. Since her last posting (explaining her email account hacking and forum hiatus) she has received numerous concerned PMs, as well as continued conversations as to when and whether to go on hospice. Please know that your advice and prayers helped her transition into and out of hospice with great peace and grace.

Thank you dearly for all the support you've given her! Words truly cannot express how much you all meant to her.

My mother may have shared my photography project detailing our experiences before, but here it is again on my website: https://www.micaenglandphotography.com/work#/my-mother-is-dying/ In the coming months I'll be expanding upon the series to reflect her final moments and passing.

Again, thank you all so so much for being part of my mother's life.

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Comments

  • JACK5IE
    JACK5IE Member Posts: 760
    edited September 2019

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I didn't really know Lita since I just started posting back here a short time ago. But I know from posts that she was very loved here. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited September 2019

    I'm so sorry for you loss. I have read your mother's posts and admired her so much for her strength and grace.

    ETA I just noticed this is the stage 4 forum. I hope it's ok that I posted here. And what a lovely gift to us with this beautiful album.

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  • Micmel
    Micmel Member Posts: 9,450
    edited September 2019

    oooofffff this one hurts big time. I am deeply sorry you beautiful daughter and family, she was one hell of a woman, fighter, mother, friend, wife and person She fought with all she had, she will forever remain in my heart and mind.. deepest sympathies. ~M~

    Edited to say I am sitting here crying. What a beautiful thing to write but so sad to read and understand how you andshe feels. I have a daughter too. You sweet darling young woman !

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  • LoriCA
    LoriCA Member Posts: 923
    edited September 2019

    Mica my sincerest condolences to you and the rest of Lita's family and friends. She helped me with some information early on, and I was always very grateful for that. I most appreciated the open and honest conversations we had in the Death and Dying thread, not many people are willing to be so up front about their feelings on this sensitive subject. I will really miss her feisty attitude around here. She was cherished and will be dearly missed, but I know how hard things have been for her recently and will take solace knowing that she is finally out of pain and at peace. Much love to all of you.

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  • Simone80
    Simone80 Member Posts: 988
    edited September 2019

    I am so sorry for your loss. I admired Lita for her open and honest posts. May she rest in peace and peace be with you and your family.

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  • SimoneRC
    SimoneRC Member Posts: 419
    edited September 2019

    Mica,

    I am so sorry for your, and your family's, loss. Lita sounded like an amazing, strong and thoughtful woman and mother. May a lifetime of loving memories help comfort you and all of Lita's family. Take good care.

    With deep sympathy


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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited September 2019

    Thank you for posting about her, Mica. I am glad to hear that hospice eased her last days.

    She stayed very engaged in life throughout her Stage IV diagnosis, which I think benefited her but it was also a huge benefit to the BCO community, and I am pretty sure others who read her posts will agree. With her, it was always the straightforward and not the sugar-coated. I could appreciate that.

    Condolences to you and your family.

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  • Chicagoan
    Chicagoan Member Posts: 728
    edited September 2019

    Mica-Thank you for letting us know about your mother's death. Her strength and willingness to look at this challenging experience head-on was a help to many of us. I love the photos you took-they seem to really capture her. My condolences to you and your dad.

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited September 2019

    This hurts but I appreciate you sharing this. Lita was so funny and in a world where stuff is often sugar coated, she’d tell it like it is. Please give Sophia a hug, bullies grieve hard 😢

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  • Moomala
    Moomala Member Posts: 436
    edited September 2019

    Thank you Mica. Lita and I didn't know each other but i used to hang around her thread and loved when she wrote in. I'm so sorry she's gone. Your beautiful tribute to her in photograph and word is a stunning hint of the love in which Lita was connected with you.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited September 2019

    Mica - my thoughts are with you as you celebrate your mother's life and mourn her passing. Like Eli and others have said, she was an amazing women. It was wonderful to listen to her straight, honest talk. She was such a support & strength for so many here. Thank you for committing to leaving her words on BCO for those who follow. Those will be a significant benefit. I will be following your photography project.

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited September 2019

    Mica, I am so sorry for your loss. What I admired so much about your mother was that she never shied away from the truth and never sugar-coated the reality of her life with Stage IV breast cancer, yet she always kept her spirit and feistiness. That is an example we can all learn from and follow.

    My sincere condolences to you and your family.

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  • holmes13
    holmes13 Member Posts: 214
    edited September 2019

    I am so sorry for your loss. she was a beautiful woman.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2019

    Dear Mica,

    I didn't know your mom like others in this forum, but a few months ago I noticed her in the thread about death and dying. I could tell Lita was someone very special...courageous and utterly honest. She will be missed by so many in this community but certainly not forgotten.

    Your poignant photos and essay about your dying mother touches the depths of our hearts. I, too, will be following your project.

    I believe Lita is in a place where suffering, pain and sorrow are no more. To your family and you, I pray the God of all Comfort give you peace.

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited September 2019

    My condolences Mica to you and your family.

    May your beautiful mum RIP & fly high with the angels ❤

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  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 2,042
    edited September 2019

    Dear Mica, I so admired your mother's openness and honesty about her cancer. She did not sugarcoat what she was going through nor her feelings. I thank her for that. May she rest in peace. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited September 2019

    Mica, so sorry for your loss. Many of us here on BCO felt close to Lita and drew from her strength. She will be missed.

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  • IzzyShepherd
    IzzyShepherd Member Posts: 12
    edited September 2019

    I Am so very sorry. Lita's passing broke a piece of my heart. I will miss her.


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  • theresa45
    theresa45 Member Posts: 314
    edited September 2019

    Mica, Your photography project is a beautiful tribute to your amazing mother! You definitely captured her spirit! Her honesty, sense of humor and ability to keep going even under the MOST difficult circumstances has and will continue to inspire me. Your mother touched my life and many others. Her voice on these boards will be sorely missed! She was truly one of a kind. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Huge hugs! Theresa

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  • Cure-ious
    Cure-ious Member Posts: 2,626
    edited September 2019

    Mica, I am in awe of how beautifully your mother coped with all the problems that she was dealt, so very unfair. Her incredible inner strength and ability to cope and hope enabled her to live so much longer than expected. We will miss her greatly!!

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  • Iwrite
    Iwrite Member Posts: 870
    edited September 2019

    Mica,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your Mom’s zest for life and tough as nails attitude touched us all. I will miss her, but glad she’s free from her suffering. I know your family will miss her greatly. Your tribute says it all

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  • Betrayal
    Betrayal Member Posts: 1,374
    edited September 2019

    Mica:

    Lita was one of the first people to reach out to me and make me feel welcome on BCO. I was so privileged to have had her support and loved reading her posts. She was FIERCE and she will always be in my heart. Your tribute to her is beautiful and resonates with her essence. May she rest in peace and sleep with the angels. She will be missed. May you find comfort in your many memories of her and her indomitable will.

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  • Sadiesservant
    Sadiesservant Member Posts: 1,995
    edited September 2019

    Mica,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

    Lita was my hero on BCO. She handled so much with grace, dignity and, a slightly irreverent attitude about it all. Lita has been a constant presence on this site since I was diagnosed stage IV in December 2016 and I have so many memories of her lovely, informative posts (with more than a few deep belly laughs thrown in).

    Rest easy my friend.

    Pat.

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  • Nkb
    Nkb Member Posts: 1,436
    edited September 2019

    Mica- I am so sorry you have lost your beloved mother. She was a truth teller who helped so many. I was sad to hear about the friends ghosting her and know this is not uncommon. Hopefully those of us “who know better, can do better” in supporting all people with whatever puts them in pain.
    Hugs to you

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  • Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Member Posts: 609
    edited September 2019

    She is now a new angel who is illuminating her family from heaven R.I.P

    image

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  • movingsoccermom
    movingsoccermom Member Posts: 225
    edited September 2019

    Mica. I am so very sorry to hear of your mother's death. But also, I thank you for posting to let us know. Best wishes on your photography project. The photographs of my Dad helped me enormously after his death.

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  • molliefish
    molliefish Member Posts: 723
    edited September 2019

    It Is a relief that her suffering is done, and it is incredibly sad that such a beautiful woman has left a husband and child she loved so dearly. I am better for having known her. Your photos are honest brutally so, and a fitting tribute to both her and your journies. I have a creative daughter and this project has allowed me to see how she may feel about my journey. thank you Mica, and thank you Lita for allowing us to be part of your journey. Love to you.
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  • Kjones13
    Kjones13 Member Posts: 1,520
    edited September 2019

    my condolences to you and the rest of the family. Lita was definitely a source of fun, loving kindness on the boards. She will be missed! RIP

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  • AliceBastable
    AliceBastable Member Posts: 3,461
    edited September 2019

    I am so sorry to hear this sad news, but grateful to have a chance to let her family and friends know how much we all appreciated her. There were some threads where I was always happy to see posts from her, and I was privileged to have a few enjoyable conversations. Like some others here, "feisty" was one of the first words that came to mind thinking of her.

    'Do you not know that a [person] is not dead while [her] name is still spoken?' – (quote from the author Sir Terry Pratchett)

    Peace to Lita's family and friends and all who knew her, whether in the real world or this community.

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  • LimnoGal
    LimnoGal Member Posts: 157
    edited September 2019

    Mica-I am sorry for your loss. I always appreciated your mom’s honesty, her feisty spirit and her sense of humor. She was quite awoman

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