Losing my mind

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Olive4
Olive4 Member Posts: 84
edited September 2019 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

I feel I am literally losing my mind! I was feeling really good and probably feeling fitter than I have ever been and breast cancer was not on my mind nearly as much as it was previously, I was starting to move forward with my life and then suddenly here I am back in this dark place convinced the cancer has returned.

I have started to have some really worrying symptoms these past few days. Nausea, feeling almost disconnected and I feel I am not able to concentrate on conversations and feel a little off balance. Also I have developed lower back pain with tingling and numbness to one of my legs. I am literally beside myself and convinced I have brain or bone mets. I am scared to wake up each day incase of worsening or new symptoms.I am due to go on vacation on Monday for 2 weeks so feel I am running out of time to see my doctor. Also I don’t want to go as I am literally petrified. I just want to feel good and go on my vacation with my husband and children free of all this worry. I do not want our vacation ruined, we have been planning this special vacation for almost a year.

My oncotype was 7 so I am trying to be rationale but the fear never truly goes and my symptoms are really concerning. I just needed to come here and release these feelings of despair I feel. Breast cancer is a truly horrid disease, no one should have to go through the anguish of this disease.

Wishing everyone going through this disease hope and peace.


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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited September 2019

    My advice is to go on vacation. Two weeks would not make much difference, as you know it can take a little time to verify cancer's return. I occasionally have heightened concerns. I think we all go through what you describe.

    I can't tell you how back ache or strange wound sets me off and I find myself almost panicked. But then again you have to live your life and be happy.

    Be happy and enjoy the vacation.

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  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 3,227
    edited September 2019

    All of your symptoms *may* be stress related and a vacation may help ease some of that. I totally get the freak-out (I just posted here myself) but your symptoms can be so many, many b-9 things...pinched nerve/sciatica, a bug going around for the nausea...even at worst case, a b-9 mass pressing somewhere (rare).

    My oncologists have said that symptoms should wait 2 weeks or so and a week or two won't make any difference, so go and relax and assume this is not cancer related till you are told otherwise. Have fun! safe travels.


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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited September 2019

    Keep a log of your symptoms day by day, in the notes of your phone, so you can track them over time. Make an appointment when you return from vacation if the symptoms persist. Hoping the symptoms go away.

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