Photo Essay about Flatness ... and other stuff

Momine...I'm just speechless. The photography is beautiful. Truth--I looked at the beautiful woman (you!) and didn't even notice the absence of breasts. The natural ease, the feminine allure, the apparent love between the man and the woman--it was simply gorgeous. It speaks--without breasts, we are who we are, wholly female, completely complete. Thanks, friend.

What beautiful art. It was like a ballet. Very soft and flowing and strong. I too didn't notice 'missing' breasts. I just saw a beautiful form.

Thank you.

Thanks, SBE, you’re right about scars being sexy. It’s just that my mastectomy was pretty extensive and included all the axillary lymph nodes on that side, then 33 doses of radiation killed all the chest hair follicles which have never regrown. Here’s me now with my battle scars.

I could say I’ve been in a sword fight, I suppose, and I once told an inquisitive young grandchild that, but I prefer to leave it as proof that men can get this disease too

Thanks Momine, a badass I am. And I’m really fine with the result; the op was five years ago. My partner is relaxed about the result, too.

Wow - what thread! Thank you Momine 🙂 You are a beautiful and brave.

Thank you Traveltext - not batting an eyelid - I had a level 2 clearance 12 out - by choice - at that point I was considered small and node negative - I have a straighter scar but heck 33 nodes out, radiotherapy and an upper arm with little lymphoedema from the photo ( that is the first thing I looked at - your arm circumference)- good surgeon and good healer. That is all you can ask - and time. Looks good!! Really good.

I do notice women ( Traveltext you are right, men less) who do not have breasts and I do see their scars or edges of them - as much as I notice people with missing limbs ( no !!! I dont think its the same loss by miles) but they are scars and they are sizeable - and sometimes they heal ugly and puckker up and have folds and are aching and unpleasant.

But while I do note them - it doesnt stop me seeing the person that goes along with them or lack of as it might be, it just helps me know a little more sooner - and that knowledge is assumed and not always entirely accurate.

Am I bothered by my lack of breasts ? Well I would have prefferred I did not have BC but my breasts themselves - ahhh truly not that fussed about them. I am grateful that at some past point I had small but stunning breasts ( ticked off that experience) - and that my present scars give me no physical grief. I am also grateful that I need not wear bras.

I can remember the kind nurse who took my dressing down post op - she kept thinking - will she cry?? ... - and all I could think was "take the freaking thing down I want to see how the wound is healing". And it was good 😊😎

So where as I dont find mastectomy scars beautiful - I am ok with that - but I find the people - women mostly and some men - who have them so wondrous, wildly self suffcicient and very very sexy... (no, come on ...I bat for men. 😜 totally!!)

So for me, and I stress for me - the process of settling with your scars and wounds (and these are the same and different ) and growing beyond them - is magnetic, its life.

Its ok to have scars - we all do - some just dont show up.

momine,

What a lovely photo spread! Gratulerer! But even better than that, is to “see” you again. You seem very happy and I hope that includes your health. Stay well, my friend.

PS:Did you know that deanna (dlb23) passed away?

my torso is kind of similar, except I didn't have radiation. It's definitely still possible to be hot n sexy without breasts. One side of my chest has always been smoother while my ribs jut out a little more on the other (my dominant hand side/non-cancer side) as though the skin is tighter on that side. Does that get better over time (I'm almost 2yrs out). Your sides look nicely balanced that way. Sadl I've had some rib dysfunction on the other side. I wish small things didn't irk me, other people wouldn't notice. I would be a good mastectomy flat model but I have too much pride/too private/don't care about proving femininity but I am glad I live in an age where I can look up pics and knew what to expect before surgery. Now being flat/blank is totally normalized to me. Women oozing their breasts out in pics is a little alienating though.

Thanks, I don't have physical tightness, just the appearance of tightness, like skin pulled more taut so the ribs are more visible on one side. I saw a cartoon illustration of a mastectomy'd woman, and they illustrated it this way too.

thank you for sharing your wonderful essay and the photos are gorgeous

What an amazing photo series! I hope it gets loads of positive attention and brings mindfulness and awareness to the messages that breasts - and their lack - insert into societal discourse. Cheers!

Momine. I am floored not necessarily by the photos but by your incredibly well-written words on the subject of breasts and femininity and sexuality. You make one amazingly good point after another about the male gaze, the “restoration of femininity" and so much more. I will be rereading the article several times to take it all in. You've perfectly articulated so many of the thoughts I have swirling in my head. As I was reading it, I was saying to myself, “yes....yes.....ohmygod, yes....."

I need to add that I still have my breasts. One has a scar on the underside that I don't see unless looking in a mirror, which I rarely do. But I developed beautifully full breasts as a teenager and could never get others to comprehend that there was a down side to having large boobs. I was envied and objectified and so much more. Only in today's world am I understanding all the ramifications.

Thank you for the link to your photos and article. I will comment further after I've read it a few more times.

MamaOz, thats nice of you to notice. It was December of 2010 I found the lump and within a few weeks, early 2011, learned it was stage iv bone mets. I had a year of the “big” treatments, then a good long run for many years with Arimidex. In March, I had some progression to a vertebrae so I started Ibrance and Aromasin. This month a scan showed progression to another vertebrae so I’m on to Verzenio and Aromasin. Its disappointing but I’m grateful that so far its bone only.