Divorcing your Breast Surgeon

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Vera66
Vera66 Member Posts: 54

I really don't know where to post this, but I am not sure what to do and could really use some advice. I am really starting to hate my BS. I will say that she is a good surgeon, and I have no complaints about that, but everything else is a nightmare. Her office is chaotic, calls are not returned, appointments scheduled wrong, and tests not cleared with insurance. She is considered the area breast expert, so I put up with it. Last week I had some kind of red rash on my breast. I assumed it was related to the breast lymphedema diagnosis that I was given by my oncologist, as I had redness in the past, although not as bad. I was seeing the breast surgeon any way so I asked about it. She had never heard of breast lymphedema, which seemed really odd from this supposed expert, and did a punch biopsy then and there. So now I'm panicking about IBC. The results were in on Thursday. I called, and no one called me back. I got through to a nurse on Friday, and literally pleaded with her to tell me what was going on. She said that the doctor had to clear the results so that she could talk to me. Then she did not call me back, despite my leaving two more messages. So now I have to sit here all weekend and worry. My appointment to have my stitches removed is not until Tuesday, so I doubt I will hear anything until then. Has this happened to anyone else? Is this is out of line or am I expecting too much? Whenever I have a test about a concern with my oncologist, who I adore, she has her nurse call me as soon as my tests are back. Is my oncologist just extra special and my breast surgeon is normal? Has anyone ever changed breast surgeons? Do I need to keep following up with her or can I just work with my oncologist? I am feeling really stressed and confused. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.

Comments

  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited August 2019

    Vera, how incredibly frustrating. I would call first thing in Monday morning.

  • Wised
    Wised Member Posts: 351
    edited August 2019

    Definitely let the surgeon know what is going on. I do not know why some of the best doctors retain some of the least appealing staff members.

  • Tmh0921
    Tmh0921 Member Posts: 714
    edited August 2019

    I don’t think your expectations are too high at all. My last core biopsy results came in on a Friday, I called my surgeons office to get the results and found out he was in surgery all day. I explained my anxiety over having to wait over the weekend and asked the nurse if she could call my surgeon to see if he could check in between surgeries.

    He actually went into the office after hours when his surgeries were done and called me to go over the report with me.

    When my Oncotype test results came in, my oncologist called me personally to review them and discuss chemo (until the test, we didn’t think I’d need chemo)

    If a doctor, or their staff, are unresponsive or unprofessional, or they dismiss your concerns, or you lose faith in them, it’s time to find a new doctor

  • Vera66
    Vera66 Member Posts: 54
    edited August 2019

    Well thank you for the response. I think it’s the doctor who is driving this policy. She will not speak to anyone on the phone and does not like to have her staff do it. I will try and call again, but I expect to be waiting until Tuesday. It was helpful to hear everyone’s feedback. I need to find another doctor.

  • Okkate75
    Okkate75 Member Posts: 151
    edited August 2019

    I have had similar issues with my breast surgeon, and I'm divorcing him and his awful staff. Everyone else on my treatment team is amazing, but this crew? YUCK. And making us wait so long for results? Unconscionable. Hang in there--I know waiting is just the worst!

  • Vera66
    Vera66 Member Posts: 54
    edited August 2019

    Thanks for the support. I am in the same boat. Everyone else I have worked with has been so supportive, but this woman has made the whole experience so much more traumatic. I wish you good luck in finding treatment professionals who are compassionate.

  • Betrayal
    Betrayal Member Posts: 1,374
    edited August 2019

    I had my breast bx done on 12/31 and my BS did not contact me with results until 1/7 and then only because I called. I should have run then but listened to the nurse navigator (should have listened to myself). Had to have a second lumpectomy due to iffy margins on first and he revealed his true colors that day with paternalistic behaviors and the old "I know best" comment. NOT!

    I went back for suture removal, and listened to his last lie about cosmesis of the surgery. I had made a return appointment but canceled it and would never let this BS touch me or any of my loved ones. My RO orders my mammograms and I have not seen a surgeon since that last appointment. Gave lip service to how invested he was in women's health especially those with BC and it was said with a forked tongue.

    If you do not like your BS now, there are plenty more available and sometimes the ones that are touted as the best have an ego issue that interferes with their ability to hear their patient's needs. Believe me, I met one and am still feeling the effects of poor treatment 3 years later. So I wish I had divorced him earlier since my body bears the physical and psychological scars of poor care.

  • Vera66
    Vera66 Member Posts: 54
    edited August 2019

    I'm sorry you went through that. It sounds really awful. I'm starting to think that the stereotype that surgeons are arrogant has basis in fact. I am definitely finding someone else. This journey is traumatic enough without people making it worse.

  • Jelson
    Jelson Member Posts: 1,535
    edited August 2019

    I liked my breast surgeon but it was clear from the beginning, perhaps because my diagnosis was DCIS, that she was going to be available if needed but not follow me with regular visits. So for the past 10 years, I am most closely followed by my RO who orders my mammos and then by my MO who I also see yearly. Just a year or two after my surgery, my breast surgeon became ill and even though quite young, had to stop practicing. I considered preemptively consulting with another breast surgeon, to kind of get them on board in case anything were to require their services, but I didn't do that. If I were you, I would not return to your BS and her incompetent office help, I would research other surgeons and if and when you think you need to consult one, do so and if you like them - have your records transferred. You might want to discuss this issue with your MO who you like and trust - they might give you some suggestions.

  • Vera66
    Vera66 Member Posts: 54
    edited August 2019

    Thanks Jelson. I think that's good advice. I see my MO every six months, and if she can order my mammograms and the MRI's I have due to dense breasts, I can't think why I need to deal with my BS ever again.

  • gb2115
    gb2115 Member Posts: 1,894
    edited August 2019

    Sorry you have to go through that. I love my BS... she is a great surgeon and a sweet person, we are about the same age and our kids are too so we bonded quickly. I genuinely look forward to seeing her.

    I would say if it's just issues with the staff, those can be sorted out, and should be because most docs hate to find out their staff is incompetent and will take steps to fix it. But if you don't like or more importantly trust the doctor, it's time to move on. Maybe since you get on well with your MO, see if they can recommend someone so you have an established surgeon just in case you need one after one of those mammograms. That way you aren't just taking first available. They all know or know of each other. I've found my best doctors through personal doctor recommendations. My so-so doctors are ones seen out of geographic convenience or easy availability.

  • Vera66
    Vera66 Member Posts: 54
    edited August 2019

    I think that you're right. If it was just the staff, I could tolerate it, but I feel this is a problem with the doctor. The staff are all afraid of her. She won't talk on the phone, ever, at all. She also does not like to have her staff give results on the phone. She makes you go through the exam, then she says ok, let's talk in the conference room, and still doesn't say the results of your tests or biopsy, while you sit there waiting in agony. I think she has a system that works for her, and really doesn't care how it impacts anyone else. She gets away with it because there aren't many good doctors in this area. I'm going to start looking for someone else, even if I have to drive to find it.

  • ellekayjay
    ellekayjay Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2019

    I would run to another surgeon if mine hadn't heard of Lymphedema. How could she not?!

  • hodgepodge
    hodgepodge Member Posts: 92
    edited August 2019

    I am so sorry you are having to wait and worry! I would definitely consider moving on to someone with more compassion!

  • OnTarget
    OnTarget Member Posts: 447
    edited August 2019

    I really liked my BS who was extremely prompt to answer and diligent. She would call me immediately with results. She called at 8pm with biopsy results as soon as they came out after close of business.

    I would not want to deal with someone who won't do a phonee call.

    Divorce!

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