Sister already saying iI’m causing her stress

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Snaffle53
Snaffle53 Member Posts: 140
edited December 2021 in Family and Family Planning Matters

Gee, tried to lean on my one and only alive sibling tonight before my procedure tomorrow. I got an earful on how i’m going to need to find the strength to get through this by myself. Insensitive much?

I guess even a health crisis can’t turn someone into somebody they are not. But her comments felt hurtful and harsh.

I’ve been doing pretty well with all this until my sister’s comments tonight. I am strong. I’ve been through more than anyone but my therapist knows. I will get through this. I guess I asked the wrong person for a little hand holding tonight. Time to put my big girl panties on and stand on my own two feet, I guess. Still, it’s a disappointment.

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  • CindyNY
    CindyNY Member Posts: 1,022
    edited August 2019

    I'm not sure what procedure you're having, but there are forums on here for lumpectomy and I believe masectomy too. Reach out on one of them and you will get a lot of support.

    Best of luck to you.

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  • DiagnosisDisruption
    DiagnosisDisruption Member Posts: 108
    edited August 2019

    It is quite crazy who shows up for you after a cancer diagnosis, and who ducks out. Family I though would be there, were nowhere around, and others I hadn't talked to in years, sent me stuff from Amazon and Costco frequently. They each take the news differently. Still, I'm sorry your flesh and blood put you in this spot.

    Good luck with your surgery!

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  • Wised
    Wised Member Posts: 351
    edited August 2019

    Good luck with your surgery. I will sit with you for a time until you feel calm. Cancer does something strange to our relationships, some relationships aren't sturdy enough to withstand the pressure that comes along with the endless tests, appointments, scans, caustic drugs, surgeries, etc... Some people have not developed the skill set they need to be a supportive person. I hope you will be happy surprised by the people who do show up to support you.

    Diana


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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited August 2019

    Snaffle - that is disappointing. If you can’t rely on your family who can you count on? Mine was supportive plus my sister and I and my SIL all had BC. My sister still does. Unfortunately her’s has metastasized to her stomach. It’s heartbreaking.

    You can do this with or without your sister. We are proof of that.

    Diane

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  • Jelson
    Jelson Member Posts: 1,535
    edited August 2019

    Snaffle, I read through your other posts - you have already been through a bunch of diagnostic procedures. This is a terrible time for you - still learning the scope of the problem so no treatment plan, yet. The mostly kindly interpretation of your sister's comments would be they are the result of emotional fatigue and fear for you. Some people are incapable of providing emotional support, but they can come through with concrete assistance when they better understand what is necessary, and some people are incapable of either. I hope, in addition to the supportive community you have here, you will find friends and acquaintances near you to provide you with everything you need and I hope your sister surprises you in a good way.

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  • vidal1993
    vidal1993 Member Posts: 70
    edited December 2021

    snaffle I am replying late but want to offer my support. My wife’s sister turned her back on us completely after my wife was diagnosed with stage 2a in June 2019, and has essentially had no contact with my wife since then. It is very painful to see my wife so hurt and upset over it. My wife’s mother died of cancer in 2008, so perhaps it brings back painful memories. But one would think she would step up to be there for her sister. I dont understand it and it makes me angry.

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